Children and chores

Dreaming_always

I was having a bit of a debate with a friend over the way I treat my oldest, she's 6 and a half and I fully expect that she should be capable of helping around the house whether its giving me her dirty clothes from her room, to picking up sweet wrappers that she and her little sister have left around.

Every few weeks we do a deep clean of her room, she's a very arty child so there's always paper and loose bits of rubbish everywhere. She's not expected to make her bed or anything like that , but just to pick up and keep her room tidy of mess.

Her sister is not yet two but we have been teaching her to throw rubbish in the bin and help mummy and daddy put things away, we are no means OCD clean but just want a liveable home that doesn't make us stressed when we look around.

What does everyone else do, am I asking too much of her? I personally don't think I do and I think a bit of responsibility is good for her, she's even getting on her soap box about litter on the street and how messy some people can be.

meritaten

I don't think you are asking too much! if someone wants to act as cleaning service for their kids - that's up to them - personally I think you are doing it right!

heretolearn_2

sounds perfectly normal to me. It's not like you've got her scrubbing the toilets. Even little kids should help out with tidying their toys etc (same as your little'un) and at your daughters age it sounds like she is doing basic tidying and taking a bit of responsibility for her room - great. Make the most of it though - little kids like doing this stuff as it makes them feel 'big' but the novelty wears off for them as they get older!

pigpen

Mine put laundry in the basket .. they are big baskets so OH brings them down.
They take their clean stuff away.. my 2 y.o can take 2 things at a time so feels she is 'helping'
They pick up toys and clear the table.
At 6 they can do a bowl of cereal or toast or simple sandwich with supervision.

It is part of growing up, learning these things need to be done.. your friend either has no children, no idea or is making another generation of useless adults.

Bennifred

Sounds like you're doing fine, OP! :beer:
I think the trick with desired behaviour/manners is to start them young so that it becomes an ingrained habit. I really believe it makes life easier for the children in the long run, too. A bit of parental effort in the early years pays dividends, in my experience.

fluffnutter

So what does your friend say? That children shouldn't be taught to throw litter in the bin, or help around the house? How odd.

Learning to do stuff starts the minute they're born. Expectations have to be realistic of course- they can't do much - but you start teaching them nonetheless, don't you? If I take something from my 8 month old, I say 'thank you'. He hasn't got a clue what I'm on about, but he will have. Same with what you're doing OP - it's all about good habits. Ignore your friend.

Skintski

I don't see any issue. Teaching them a little responsibility whilst young has got to be a good grounding surely.

FBaby

Yes, why is your friend arguing with you that she doesn't think it is right? I wish I'd been a lot more consistent with this. My kids are 8 and 12, and getting them to do chores is a battle every time. They are lovely children, will do homework independently with no prompting, very autonomous and responsible, but despise chores, so each time, it's like I am asking for the first time again. I now wish I'd been more forceful having a clear routine from the time they were just toddlers so that it would now be completely automatic, something they get on with without thinking so the whole thing would be less stressful for everyone.

What does your friend suggest to be the right way to teach them about chores? Or does she think kids should have none?

anniemf2508

I don't think its wrong at all. I have a 14 year old and 6 year old. I have just set up a rota of jobs for everyone. (jobs such as tidying the shoes away at the end of the day, picking toys up in the living room, and cleaning rooms at the weekend) they know if they don't do them they don't get computer time. I have better success getting my 6 year old to do his jobs than his big sister.

mrcow

My six and seven year old love cleaning. they fight over who is going to do the mopping and have races to see who can get their bedrooms the tidiest first so they can do the dusting.

Six year old's favourite job is wiping all the skirting boards.

If I told them they could Cif the bathroom, they'd think it was a party. They both pretend to be Cinderella.

That must make me the evil stepmother........

Marshflower

I think what you are doing is great, OP. I think it's really important that kids - from as young as possible - understand how much work goes in to tidying/cleaning/cooking, especially if you have a job outside the home, and also understand how fulfilling it feels to get a job done.
My daughter is three and since she was 2 and a half, she has earned £2 a week by helping me around the house. She has to tidy away her toys at night, dust the radiators and the window cills in her bedroom and the sitting room and help with the washing up (she has a plastic tub and washes up all the tea spoons and plastic beakers). She loves doing this and is allowed to spend her £2 on whatever she wants, usually a magazine or charity shop toy, although sometimes she saves it for a couple of weeks and buys a book. It also helps because it means if she wants another magazine or sweets in the week I can say "wait till you get your pocket money then you can buy it!". Also means she understands the value of money from a very basic 3 yr olds view and IMO this can never start too early!
Of course rewarding with pocket money is not everyone's cup of tea but it's something we decided to do and works in our house.