Selfish for turning down a job offer?

szam_

Just curious really, what peoples opinions are of people who are currently in employment but turn down job offers...

I work in 15k a year job (ok, after researching my field it should be around 20k+ for less skills i currently have, that's the average i've seen, i'm just thankful to be in work).

Going back a few months;

I asked a friend whether i should move 100 miles away for a job paying 27k a year, after a phone interview. He said i should, family (specifically my Dad) told me not to bother as i may fall flat on my face and there would be no-one around to help if that was the case. I decided eventually to look for something closer to home, i got an interview for a 20k job from a company desperate to see me, around 40 miles away but opted not to go because they sprung the interview on me at the last minute when i couldn't get the day off, despite asking if i could have it set up a few days in advance, i tried to rearrange to no avail as they were 'scared my services would go elsewhere'. And, for someone who doesn't drive, these distances are a bit of a killer.

Anyway, back on point, i was told i was selfish by an unemployed friend for not taking up these chances and that there are many people who would jump at the chance to have an interview, let alone offers. Well, i agree with that second point as when i was last employed it took me 6 months to get an interview (i was 23 at the time) but the first interview i got landed me my current job, i do not agree that i am selfish however. I worked hard to find my current job and i'm thankful i have a job, i also worked hard to advance my skills to the point i recieve these offers. I'd like to earn more than i do, yes, but i (and i don't) want to feel pressured by people to take up offers and i don't want to be rushed into jobs i think may not be suitable.

I'm not bothered by what they said at all, just curious really, what are peoples views on people who turn down job offers? From both sides, the unemployed and employed. Am i, or these type of people selfish?

mumf

No, you are NOT selfish. You weigh up the pros and cons. I am going to lose my job soon. I started looking a year ago, and got three interviews and three job offers! Turned 'em all down ad the were all Muppets!
I am hanging on for £12,000 pay off. I have an offer of a job to go to when that happens. We have shaken hands on it(I have known the chap 30 years)-but even then, he knows if I get a better offer, I will take it. Selfish? No.
An old friend used to say to me," It is dog eat dog out there. Dog don't eat, Dog die!".

szam_

Thanks for the reply, i'm glad i'm not alone in this way of thinking.

Unfortunately, i may be out of work again soon anyway, the way this company is going. Makes me wonder if i should have opted for one of said jobs.

It's funny really, i've generally gone through my life doing things for others, helping, saying yes a lot. People told me i need to think of myself sometimes too, as soon as i start doing that, i'm selfish and should be so lucky?

I can't win!

Takeaway_Addict

Its not selfish in the slightest, your friend could always apply for the jobs you turned down so its not like you've taken a job away from anyone

ironlady2022

Agree with the others, it is definitely not selfish. We are in recession but there are jobs out there and people successfully change jobs (I have changed jobs 3 times since the recession) - it can be done if you have the right skills and if you sell yourself enough.

It's not like you were unemployed and you turned it down, you at least have a job compared to your friend. Think it's a jealous thing really.

Also I fully understand the travelling side of things, I suggest you try and invest in driving lessons, it took me 2 years to get mine and at the age of 27, I finally passed and it has enabled me to look for jobs I would never have considered.

[Deleted User]

Well, it is selfish.. but only in a good way. You made the decision that fitted YOURSELF the best. And that was to not go for a job that didn't suit your 'level of risk'. There was nothing ethically wrong in your decision.

Yes, it's a risk to take a job a long distance away. My first job was 200 miles from 'home' (and I didn't drive either); but it was a risk worth taking (and the accommodation I took meant I could leave whenever I wanted) and ultimately has lead to me earning a decent salary.

Recently, I've had to turn down massive payrises (so much money it makes me rather upset sometimes...) because it wasn't right for my family, and my level of 'risk' at the moment. I'm just hoping similar opportunities come up again when my kids are in school and we've got a bit more savings tucked away.

Ultimately, you need to do what's best for you. So yes, it's being selfish - but it's not hurting anyone else doing so

stix62

'Selfishness is placing concern with oneself or one's own interests above the well-being or interests of others.'

You're thinking of yourself but as it doesn't effect anyone else it's hardly selfish - i.m.o

If you were currently out of work it wouldn't be selfish either; stupid maybe, but not selfish.:)

szam_

Interesting that most are in agreement. Don't ask me why, i kind of expected this response. I was just curious as what people thought as his lecture was a bit of a intriguing point of view to say the least.

mayling03 wrote: »

Also I fully understand the travelling side of things, I suggest you try and invest in driving lessons, it took me 2 years to get mine and at the age of 27, I finally passed and it has enabled me to look for jobs I would never have considered.

I did learn when i was a part timer at Asda about 6 years ago. I got to my tests when i looked up prices for running a car and realised i wouldn't have anything left at the end of it and preferred to enjoy myself.

Presently there are a few mitigating circumstances meaning i can't drive just yet, but once these come to a conclusion i'm hoping to be on the road. Mainly being my girlfriend (of 2 years come this friday), is Russian, so we meet up abroad a lot and i'm trying to save and earn enough for her to live here one day if it works out etc..)

bugslet

Actually it's selfless, because you are allowing someone else that needs a job to get one. Simples!

306chris

As somebody who is unemployed I dont think that you are selfish.

Really don't know what I'd do if I was offered a job 100 miles away. You have to think of others needs as well.

bluesnake

szam_, you do not get bluesnakes approval.

No, you are not selfish, however....

It sounds like you are capable, but not learning anything new, not growing. By moving you may get new skills, making you more employable and yet more money. Even by meeting new people often results in more possibilities.

From15k to 27k is a big step. Although all that extra cash will be taken up by housing and bills, the experience of no money, no friends, the wrong friends, and hardships you will go through, will build your confidence and shape you and your views.

The harsh rule of life is that if you do not try, and keep on trying, you will end up with nothing. Can you see yourself doing your job, on the same money till 67?

If for something goes wrong, your parents sound supportive, and i'm sure they will take you back

You are doing yourself a disservice.