Neighbours expectations? Jet washing for all???

winnie12345

Hi, I hope you can help with some advice as I am stressing over this.

Every year for about the last 10 years I have hired/borrowed a jet washer (I previously went through 2 but the motors blew out on both). I jet wash my own patio area and also the common 'alleyway' between the houses from front street to rear gardens (maisonette flats, blocks of 4). I had thought my neighbours would appreciate this as they never do it and also benefit as it gets very green every year, but it seems they think I should also be doing their gardens too. The gardens are privately owned and are partially fenced but not gated off. I once took pity on the forever hinting old lady upstairs and did her garden, which took ages as it is twice the size of my patio and was filthy as it had never been done before while I keep on top of mine. I think she thought this would then be an annual event. She has grown up children who live locally so is not without help. Then last year the other neighbour lady (64) came out while I was jetwashing and hinted at me doing hers (as though it would be a quick job). I said my mum had hired it for the day and I had to rush to do this and get it back to her. She went on to say that she had been about to suggest contributing so that hers could be done. She then proceeded to go out for lunch and I know she was expecting to come back and it would all be magically be done for her. (she even said later that her and her friends had been talking about it all through lunch, so I know she thought the guilt trip worked). Her area is quite small, but black with dirt and covered in potted plants.

The time has come round to do it and I am almost not wanting to do it at all, as I feel they will be hovering/watching and will gossip about me if I do not do theirs too. There is nothing to stop them hiring one between them, but they will never do this and I know they think I should do it for them. My partner does not help with it apart from setting it up, but this is ok with me as he does not see the need for it to be done whereas I like it to all look fresh and clean and I like to do it. The neighbours know it is me out there every year not him, and it takes me 2 hours to do the common path and my patio, so it annoys me that they think it would be a 2 minute job to do theirs as well.

I feel like they think I am a soft touch and they are trying to take advantage. It also makes me feel they do not appreciate what I already do.

To add - the lady upstairs is not the perfect neighbour - washing machine on in the middle of the night, tipping fag ash out of her window landing on our window sills, hanging a mop full of dripping bleach out of the window which killed my plants below and made a mess of our windows....

Am I being mean and petty or am I doing enough already?

Thank you for any advice.

deniseduck

Blooming cheek on their part! They're lucky you're such a good neighbour, especially when they aren't! That's the trouble with some people, whatever you do will never be enough. I certainly don't think you're being mean, and it's a shame they're making you feel like that. Hope you don't feel uncomfortable when you're out there, if they want to gossip they will, I'm afraid.

Idiophreak

On the one hand, it's nice to be able to do something to build some bridges with your neighbours...But you shouldn't be "expected" to do it and life's a two way street.

Personally, I'd be going to Mrs A and saying "well, I don't really mind doing yours, but Mrs B makes me feel like I'm expected to do it - last year she didn't even give me a bottle of wine for my trouble!" then go to Mrs B and repeat...

And if they do things that put you out, like the mop, the washing machine and the fag ash, you should be calling them on it and saying "I try to be a good neighbour, I clean your patio every year..."

grannyjo

tell them you do not have time, but give them the name of a firm that could give them a quote. It is worth being very polite about it, even apologetic as neighbourhood bad feelings can create huge problems. You have nothing to feel guilty about so don't feel bad.

poledancer49

Amazing isn't it..you try and be a good neighbour but end up being taken advantage of!! Poor you. They should count themselves lucky that you take pride in your home and garden. I would go out there and ignore their comments and requests or have a charge in mind if they ask and money up front if they want you to clean their property.

winnie12345

Thanks for your replies. Yes, I think I am going to have to go out there with a thicker skin and just brace myself. I am not good at standing up to people so pressing for money up front would be a disaster and I know they would not even think I should want paid for my actual work in their garden - just the split of the machine hire, which unsurprisingly would not be worth my effort. It is like Deniseduck says - with some people, it feels like whatever you do will never be enough. Can you imagine if I caved and did their gardens this year what state I would get myself into leading up to next spring!

poledancer49

Fair enough.....you do what you feel is right. Maybe do a funny dance while working and that may put them off approaching you........!

winnie12345

Hi Poledancer49 - ha ha - I do try and look grumpy and totally engrossed, but maybe a weird dance would scare them off more