Living for the moment

FatVonD

I've vowed that I'll pay off all my debts by Oct 2014 but this doesn't leave much room for fun and I'm finding myself wishing my life away, or at least the month until the next payday so I can see some results.

Last payday was good and bad, my debt actually increased by £4,000 at the end of January so there has been a lot of jiggerypokery going on with moving stuff around and robing Peter to pay Paul to get everything onto 0% cards but it was quite satisfying when it was all done and *finally* knowing the actual amounts I'm up against.

The next 2 months are going to be hard now though as I need to pay off my overdraft before paying down the debts so I don't feel like I'm going to see much for all my frugality.

I'm quite happy to spend 50p on a book from a charlty shop and sit in bed reading (and repeat for the next 2 years!) but DH is complaining he's bored/we never go out etc/there's nothing on the telly/we haven't had a holiday for ages (even though he has no money either) which makes me wonder if I'm letting life pass me by

Do you/would you allow yourself treats, even if it meant dragging some of your debt onto yet another 0% deal (assuming they're still available) in 2 years time?

suki1001

I think if you can do it, then great. However, is there anyway you can compromise? A candlelit diner for 2 with a cheap bottle of plonk at home every so often. A walk and a picnic? A day out to a museum with a packed lunch and a budget for perhaps a coffee.

Once a month/once a week/fortnight and give yourself a budget £5/£10. If you have a little reward, it might help incentivise him? I don't think doing fun things has to be expensive, you sometimes have to be a bit imaginative perhaps.

snowleopard61

I'm another one who's quite happy with a library book and the peace to read it, but I know not everyone's like this (my 20-year-old daughter for instance!).

Suki1001 has suggested most of what I would have mentioned, but you could include things that don't cost anything - like showering together sometimes (hey, that could actually save you money!:D) or the one who doesn't normally cook taking a turn and making something (cheaply) creative to give the usual cook a break. Do you have friends you are close enough to to share your financial situation with, and perhaps get together every so often to cook for each other on a really tight budget and have a fun evening? That way you might benefit from 'economies of scale', but setting the tight budget mutually is crucial so you don't worry people will think you are stingy.

If you have a DVD recorder you could look out for all the decent films/programmes in advance and record them so you don't find yourself in the position of having 'nothing on the telly' so often.

It gets easier in the summer when being outside is a pleasure; it's difficult when it's cold and most of the things you can do 'out' either cost money or tempt you to spend it.

FBaby

Have you been through the list of all what you can do together that doesn't cost money? It would be a good start, then add what cost little etc..

[Deleted User]

suki1001 wrote: »

I think if you can do it, then great. However, is there anyway you can compromise? A candlelit diner for 2 with a cheap bottle of plonk at home every so often. A walk and a picnic? A day out to a museum with a packed lunch and a budget for perhaps a coffee.

Once a month/once a week/fortnight and give yourself a budget £5/£10. If you have a little reward, it might help incentivise him? I don't think doing fun things has to be expensive, you sometimes have to be a bit imaginative perhaps.

I agree with this post. Ive decided to cut hours at work. I could be paying off more of my mortgage, or buying expensive gadgets etc. But for me whats important is having more time to enjoy life. So with less money coming in i now find that the treats i used to have all the time are now more special to me because i cant have them all the time IYKWIM. Free treats like walking on the beach, spending this morning pottering outside and eating brunch on my decking whilst everyone i know is working. And then cheaper treats like spending a day with friends and having a cheap lunch.

Goldiegirl

I think it's great that you are planning to clear all your debts, but I also think it's important to plan in some fun as well.

Otherwise the plan could end up being too difficult to keep to, and is more likely to fall by the wayside.

Maybe budget for a small monthly treat, like a trip to the cinema, a special home cooked meal, a day at the seaside or in the countryside with a picnic, a DVD and a nice bottle of wine, things like that

Callie22

I'm another book from a charity shop lover But my OH has been complaining too that we don't have much fun together, and life certainly has turned into something of a grind at the moment. We're trying to save for a deposit and it's hard not to look at every £5 we spend on stuff as money that could be put to a 'better' use. However, equally I do think you have to factor in some (cheap!) fun otherwise you lose sight of what you're saving and struggling for. So, we're trying to work in more quality time together, doing some fun things - going out for a coffee, a walk round a local park, the odd meal out.

Idiophreak

FatVonD wrote: »

Do you/would you allow yourself treats, even if it meant dragging some of your debt onto yet another 0% deal (assuming they're still available) in 2 years time?

Yeah, I have a lot of treats....but that means I've not really been what you'd call "debt free" for about 12 years now...(uni, buy house, wedding...)

It really depends on your attitude to things. Personally, I have no real issues with being in debt, so as long as it doesn't cost me too much (normally at 0% on CC), I'm quite happy paying it off at a good rate, but enjoying a good quality of life at the same time. I could pay stuff off faster and reduce my quality of life, but I choose not to.

You just need to decide what's more important to you - getting debt free, or enjoying stuff that costs money. Of course, if you choose to spend on treats, you need to be sure you can do so without making the debt worse...

marisco_2

Little treats dont have to cost the earth. I think as part of your budget you need to factor in a little bit of allowance for doing something nice every so often.

Once you clear your overdraft and can then throw money at your debt you will feel better. However do you have any emergency fund put by? As you have most of the debt on 0% cards I would be tempted to clear your overdraft, then pay the minimum off on the credit cards each month. Put by any extra you can throw at the debt into an easy access savings account.

This way if life goes smoothly over the next couple of years, you can pay off your debts before the 0% comes to an end. If emergencies crop up or you are in between jobs at any time you will have some cash put by to cushion you through it without having to add any more onto expensive credit cards.

ska_lover

I understand this, me and my OH are saving like mad for a house deposit, but we DO still have treats - it is ME in our house that insists on it. At least one short break per year - normally a sun holiday and doesn't cost an absolute fortune. We have a treat each once a month, or maybe a meal out (2 for a tenner) nothing massive, but just cuts the boredom.

If your OH is bored, listen to him, cos it could cost you your relationship, no one wants to be stuck with a bore. (not that im sayign you are, but if my OH insisted we didnt spend a single penny, i think i would go off my head..)

Now the weather is changing, we take picnics out, with a bottle of wine. We circulate DVDs with family and friends so DVD nights are a regular thing. You do need to do things together, sitting with a book is very solitary and leaves the other person feel as if they are intruding if they try to conversate with you.

I don't want to die bored with no memories, but with a large bank balance.

Idiophreak

ska_lover wrote: »

You do need to do things together, sitting with a book is very solitary and leaves the other person feel as if they are intruding if they try to conversate with you.

Sorry, but "conversate" really facilificated a goodified chuckle