horrible situation at work effecting my mental health

rocketqueen

I am a long term forum user, but needed a bit of anonymity for this post, so have set up a new account.

I work in a care home, and one of the clients family members is deliberately causing trouble for myself and another staff member.

We have done nothing that deserves this treatment, but she is bad mouthing us to other staff and family members as well as complaining about us to the firms managers - her complaints are unfounded and the manager has told me he does not believe them.

She seems to have become obsessed by this, and wants us to lose our jobs, we now feel we cannot do our jobs properly when she is there, as she is watching our every move (im guessing hoping we make a mistake she can complain about.) And making side and nasty comments.

I suffer from mental health problems, and am finding the stress from this situation very hard to manage, to the point where I don't want to go to work, and I'm stressed at home every evening wondering what will happen the next day etc.

My manager is telling me to just ignore the situation and to carry on as normal, but I feel as though I'm being bullied and my health is suffering now as a result.

Any help on where I can go from here please?

mrcow

What's she saying? Is it slanderous?

dandelionclock30

This is part and parcel of working in social care im afraid.Families and clients can manipulate and cause trouble and complain without foundation.This is what happens and you have to get your head around it.
What you can do though is join a union, so if there is any future complaints you have someone to support you.Also what is the manager doing to support you? If the family keep complaining to the managers and to other members of staff then these complaints should be dealt with properly and not allowed to go on and on etc.
The line from the managers and other staff needs to be theres a formal complaints procedure etc and ask the family to use it. The manager needs to manage and investigate and address the raised issues properly.Not just say I dont believe them!.
In the meantime, you need to rise above it and if anothe rmember of staff comes to you and says this family have been saying things then you need to direct them to the manager etc.
Just keep doing your job properly, be careful of everything you say and try not to be around when this family visit if its possible.
The manager also needs to be addressing with the family about the remarks they are making if they are snide and nasty.They are employed to support and help you as well as the clients.You are entitled to dignity and respect at work without being sniped at.You need to raise this issue with your manager in supervision and make sure its recorded.Dont be frightened, be confident in your abilities and dont let it get to you.

rocketqueen

Yes I would say its slanderous, I dont want to say exactly what word for word (incase its recognized by anyone) but its basically that we are not doing our job properly and she has also said we need to be scared of her and that she will not stop until we lose our jobs.

We both have worked there a number of years and have never had any problems or complaints about us before this.

ValHaller

A difficult suggestion to carry through - in your position after a certain amount of this, I think I would be refusing to work with that client. If you have evidence that she did in fact say that she will not stop until you lose your jobs, it will help.

And I think your employer should consider withdrawing from providing services to this client.

maninthestreet

Has this person made any formal complaints to your management yet?

bee11

I really do feel for you. I am in a similar boat. I work in a care home. Yesterday I got given an official warning, a family member complained I was failing to take their loved one to the toilet when asked and other staff had to do it. If it it had gone to the manager I think she would have just asked me about it, nope he went straigh to the owner. I was so upset and still am even after a nights sleep as it is completly untrue and I am dedicated to the residents. I now have a warning 'cos at somepoint, not sure exact details, I must of said "hang on one min" and another member of staff came along before I got a chnace to go back. I go out of my way for the residents and I broke down to the assistant manager about how I don't expect huge thank yous but I get this instead. The staff all slag me off saying I am up myself etc why because I try and ensure all the residents have been washed properly/given drinks etc? I have really confidence and anxiety issues and always prided myself on doing well in my job despite awful pay and awful work conditions, i feel there is neglect going on, and I go out of my way to try and do nice things for them. I am not paid any extra to be senior, so when I am senior on shift it really is a huge improvment in my confidence to do the meds, answear phones me in charge etc. I just feel usless now, hated and just don't see the point in trying with anything anymore it gets me nowwhere.

superflygal

I think the media makes a lot of the fact that some care homes are appalling, and there have been cases of people being neglected. Its s shame when genuine good staff are made to suffer and incorrectly singled out for bullying.

I would echo what other MSErs have said, and join a union (they aren't very good in my experience, but they are a legal body and companies tend panic when unions represent staff, where they feel they have the upper hand if they don't)

I had a bullying problem at work, and joined Unite, they took on the current case, so I am quite sure yu would be covered for this. In my case, I researched my rights online, and put everything in writing to my manager, and cc'd it to Unite. I highlighted bullet point problems, and followed each point with the outcome I would ideally like. Although Unite offered very little, the fact that I had their name behind me seemed to do the trick, and my problem was sorted.

Good luck, be strong, and keep your head up high. The other residents rely on you, so don't let some spiteful person ruin a good thing.

SFG x

UnionGirl

Ask the Unions in your area if they will take your case on.

It is upto the Organiser if they will take your case on or not. Unions do not have to take on any existing cases/issues. They might do it (depending on workload) as a goodwill gesture.

rocketqueen

Thank you all for your replys.

Maninthestreet - yes an official complaint has been made to the senior management via letter, I saw a copy of the letter last week and to be honest its just ridiculous, its just ramble.

My manager heard the comment about her threatening my job, as did several other staff members, so I have back up on this point.

Bee11 - sorry to hear you are also in a nasty position, it really is so disheartening isnt it? Hope you get it sorted out soon xx

I have read our policies and procedures and it clearly states, that abuse from families etc to the staff will not be tolerated, and in extreme cases visitors will be forbidden from entering the home, I don't want it to come to this if possible for the sake of my client, but do not want to be bullied by this person either.

It is impacting my work with all the clients, as I am now constantly on edge when she is around, and I keep overhearing all her snide comments.

I am due to have a meeting this week with the senior management, which I have requested as do not feel my direct manager is taking it seriously enough.

I will look into unions this afternoon.

bee11

rocketqueen wrote: »

Bee11 - sorry to hear you are also in a nasty position, it really is so disheartening isnt it? Hope you get it sorted out soon xx

Worse comes to worse look for another job? If you have experiance I'm sure someone would snap you up?
I'm trying to look for another but where I live not many care jobs going, when there is normally tons.