Daughter's response at school is always 'I don't know' ???

misty

I think one of the things kids are assessed on is if they are willing to speak in front of the teacher and other kids - assessed is not really the right word. If a child is quiet then the bigger the difficulty in speaking up. I teach adults and many of these are petrified about speaking up in front of people - so imagine how daunting it is for a small child. You say she has no problem going for tea with friends or doing it for you and your husband - she may feel much more comfortable with people she knows or in smal groups.

I don't think it is doing any good going to fewer words if you know she knows them - it is help in giving her confidence to say it at school she needs.

A boy in my son's class was similarly timid - very, very shy but perfectly able. The teacher worked with him 1- 1 and the class accepted he didn't like to speak up too much. He became more vocal when speaking about a topic he loved and this was encouraged and he speaks up a little more now. Would your daughter talk about an interest she has to the teacher and become more confident?

Re the pump bag - maybe she forgot what she went out for - I do it all the time - there's alot going on in schools for little brains to cope with - noise and other mental stimulation - maybe she just wanted a bit of peace and quiet.

ShirleyPark_2

lebly wrote: »

it sounds like fear of failure. If you pretend you dont know you cant get it wrong can you. My sister was like this. She was going to pull out of police training because she thought she wuld fail - therefore what was the point - she has done fantasticly well top of class in alot. My brother was the same with maths - couldnt do graphs etc in maths did fantastic ones for geog (but then hey thats not maths), my eldest sister couldnt do maths - does her nursing training top of class in maths! Fear of failing in something, turn it around to something they enjoy even though its no different - sucess.

It will be fine just a confidence thing, speak to teacher to see if she can turn it around into something she enjoys, sucess will prevail

I was exactly the same at school. I was so scared of getting it wrong and everyone laughing at me that I pretended not to know. I still have an issue today and I'm now 33!!

Carmina_Piranha_3

i'm not saying it's not possible for her to have dyslexia ... but she's only 4 - that's still a toddler in my humble opinion. i think it's a shame that we have to worry about a 4 year old not reading war and peace.

has the teacher said anything? towards the end of reception year here they decide which children will be put on the special needs register, and parents are often shocked. 1 child in 5 goes on our register - it sounds so silly that 1 child in 5 has special needs, i really don't think there's anything 'wrong' with most of these children, it just means they are having a slow start. but anyway, some children will be offered special catch-up classes in maths or literacy and as they will be small classes, typically no more than 6 children, the children can gain more confidence, or if they are struggling they catch up a bit with the benefit of more 1-1 attention in the smaller group.

my nephew went into one of these classes because he wasn't learning to read. my sis was really gobsmacked - she thought he was clever especially as he was the eldest in class. he didn't give the teachers the impression of being clever though, and as far as i could tell he couldn't even recognise his own name. he really enjoyed the classes and became less bored, more likely to join in and the teachers realised he's clever, just isn't of a mind to show people what he knows. he's in year 2 now and taking his first SATS exams and they expect him to get top marks in everything. he just had a slow start because he didn't like showing the teachers what he knew (and he wanted to fidget and daydream about power rangers!).

lebly

my children at home can act like performing seals get them in a situation where they may get it wrong - mutes!

lebly

I do have to say at 33 (also ) I am the same if I know I am good at something (and possibly the best) I will do it (no fear of failure ) give me something I am unsure of - I dont knw - or silence hiding in the shadow or the quick comic outburst to hide my fear! Does not mean I cant do it or am stupid just wont!

doom

Mandles wrote: »

They seem to come into their own when they are ready.

Maybe she just doesn't want to share her knowledge with a teacher she doesn't really care for! LOL

Her teacher seems to be very concerned so my wife automatically feels that she's obviously doing something wrong as everyday when she's picked up it's the same story................ so frustrating!

Perhaps the teacher is just hoping for there to be some sort of improvement and I imagine only stress's her concern so that we too make an extra effort with her.

I personally was never one through schooling to let the teachers know I knew the answer... so maybe you're right

doom

lebly wrote: »

it sounds like fear of failure

We do have to emphasis to our DD that making a mistake is ok and not to worry about it,... as she does get so worried

Perhaps she is lacking in confidence like a few of you have mentioned!

doom

lebly wrote: »

I do have to say at 33 (also ) I am the same if I know I am good at something (and possibly the best) I will do it (no fear of failure ) give me something I am unsure of - I dont knw - or silence hiding in the shadow or the quick comic outburst to hide my fear! Does not mean I cant do it or am stupid just wont!

Begginning to wonder if the teacher thinks our DD is thick..

lebly

sounds like it to me.

my brother had to do certain tests at school rhyming tests - what do you dig in a gaden with etc etc he said fork answer should have been spade, what do you wear on your head answer should have been hat he said hair. My mother was dragged into school as he was going to be put into remedial as answers incorrect etc. My mother asked him why he gave these asnwers, well you dig in garden with a fork, hair is next to your head not a hat the hat on your hair, - what is your favourite pet answer should have been cat (aas sounds like hat ) he said dog, when my mother asked him why in front of said experts - you do it like this, the dog is my favourite etc you have allways told me not to lie so I didnt!

Sums it up i think. Perhaps teachers should try to think about where children are coming from and not about targets!

doom

Mumstheword wrote: »

If it's of any use to you, I can post all 28 sets of words, if you want to continue to teach her yourself.

YES PLEASE... :beer: I would be interested to know the other sets of words your child has been given.

So far she's been given the following words:

1st week: I me a on no
2nd week: can mum to dad of
3rd week: yes for (these were the ONLY two she was given because DD only told teacher mum & dad)

My OH believes that the teacher thinks we dont read to our DD. We do though ... both as a fun activity and at bedtime... she especially likes Julia Donaldson's books.