Advice for my mam..

laidbackgjr

I would be enquiring to find out what happened to the extra £107000 that seems to have been borrowed when the mortgage was extended, perhaps another endowment was taken out to cover this, have you checked?

seven-day-weekend

I too think under the circumstances a retirement apartment might be a good idea, she could probably afford one and there would be other people around the whole time.

Rightmove list for retirement properties £200k or less, London:

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/find.html?locationIdentifier=REGION%5E93917&maxPrice=200000&minBedrooms=1&displayPropertyType=flats&retirement=true

onlyroz

If she "can't live on her own" then who currently lives with her? If there's a lodger surely she doesn't expect the lodger to look after her? Aren't there retirement apartments with wardens on call if there is a difficulty? And communal areas where the residents can meet up? Even if it means moving out of central London I would have thought that £200k would cover such a property.

onlyroz

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Rightmove list for retirement properties £200k or less, London:

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/find.html?locationIdentifier=REGION%5E93917&maxPrice=200000&minBedrooms=1&displayPropertyType=flats&retirement=true

Most of those look great. In the circumstances of the OP's mother I would have thought something like this would be ideal.

RAS

Locana wrote: »

She has had those fears all of her life and she doesnt actually know that I'm asking these questions on this forum. We all never realised the extent of her fears and it was a running family joke, until my dad died. Thats when we knew how bad she really was as she always had dad around. They never spent a night apart, but that was through her fears.

Hi - her fears are crippling her and adversely affecting you and the rest of the family. So maybe it is time for her to go to the doctors and explain this fear - there are a number of treatments that would remove it or massively reduce the fear.

Locana wrote: »

Thanks so much for your help. I think much of the 33,000 went on a DMP and she paid it off. Another issue was vulture family members doing up her kitchen and charging her so much money just after my dad died. Her mind was elsewhere to notice, but thats another story.

laidbackgjr wrote: »

I would be enquiring to find out what happened to the extra £107000 that seems to have been borrowed when the mortgage was extended, perhaps another endowment was taken out to cover this, have you checked?

This is a very valid point. You need to check where exactly all this money hass been going.

Your parents have been stripping the capital value out of the house, your mother has been in serious debt recently and it seems her day to day finances are poor even now (otherwise I assume she would be paying the £200 per month interest)?

It may be that they have been living beyond their means for years, in which case she needs a lot of help budgetting. It may be that one of your parents had a habit that required a lot of money. Be prepared however to find that the vulture relative has been bleeding them dry for a long time.

bitsandpieces

Definitely, your mum speaking to her GP about her fears would be a good idea.

A shared ownership place might also be an option (perhaps retirement housing) if your mum could pay the rent/service charge. There are concerns about whether they are overpriced and may lose value - but if this will be your mum's home for life, that's not necessarily something she needs to worry about.

Your mum might also consider social housing (in some areas, there is an excess of properties for people over a certain age). She would get secure tenure and rents tend to be reasonable, though she may well struggle to get a 2 bed place.

Some retirement developments are bungalows, though flats are more common in most places. Might she feel better about a flat if she saw the development?

Locana

Hi

thanks for all your help.

Not sure what happened to the extra 107,000 - maybe to increase mortage to buy the next property? I will ask her, but will have all info with me to hit her at once, or she will run away.

My cousin lives with her at the moment, and no she is not expected to look after her. Mum doesnt need looking after, just needs someone there at night. Mum is very independent has two jobs etc and probably looks after my cousin. She has enough income to live on and probably doesnt need two jobs, but Mum always keeps herself busy.

We will look at the possibility of retirement homes, although she will look at us like we are mad. She wont even claim her bus pass as she thinks she is 21 - wont accept that she is 62.

We have spioken to her about going to the GP to address her fears, but she wont go Shes stuck in her ways I think, and feels that she doesnt have a problem. Once we left her on her own and she said that she would be fine by herself, but found out that she stayed at her sisters for the night.

I think the solution here is to sell the house and buy something further away maybe with a small mortgage so that its not too far.

Arrgghh.

Lo

Locana

Those retirement homes do look great..!

Madmel

Have you thought about taking her to see a retirement home without telling her first? We did this with MiL - she thought she wanted to relocate from Yorkshire to Devon but to a bungalow or similar. We did some ground-work and found quickly that her budget was way too small, but we looked at several retirement complexes then when she arrived, we took her to the best 2. She was blown away by the idea of shops, the bus stop and the doctor all being within a 2 minute walk and was very happy there until recent ill-health means she is now in a nursing home. She loved the activities on offer and made many good friends there.

moneyistooshorttomention

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I too think under the circumstances a retirement apartment might be a good idea, she could probably afford one and there would be other people around the whole time.

Rightmove list for retirement properties £200k or less, London:

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/find.html?locationIdentifier=REGION%5E93917&maxPrice=200000&minBedrooms=1&displayPropertyType=flats&retirement=true

I worked my way through that list from cheapest upwards - and got to £70,000 before I found one I might consider in those circumstances - not possible to see much of the flat, but the grounds looked very nice and it looked like it was worth a visit if the area is suitable.

I'm now sitting here thinking "Everyone thinks London is so expensive - but its possible to get a retirement flat there more cheaply than in my area in fact by the look of it:(".

Whether someone would consider a "retirement flat" as such would depend, I would think, to a large extent on how many possessions they have - as they aint huge:cool: - but, for someone who doesnt have loads of possessions they are concerned to keep then that £70k looked pretty good to me. Might go off for a browse on the dearer ones now..