Simplifying/living with less

Molly41

Lalaladybird wrote: »

The other thing about toys is that a lot of toys are bought by people other than my husband and myself as birthday/xmas presents etc. For example my dd recently had a party and got a lot of presents some of which were perfect for her, others like polly pocket, barbie etc are really not things she plays with but I obviously let her open them and play with them but she will never choose to play with them, if I put them in front of her she will look at them for 10-15 mins and dress them, brush their hair but then gets bored and would rather draw etc so to my mind that is just cluttering up her room. I am surprised that I am supposed to leave this alone rather than create a nice room with more space for her to do the things she likes best. It's a bit like if someone handed me knitting needles and wool I would probably try it for ten mins to see if I could still knit but I'd never choose to do it.

But she might play with them in a few months? Children's interests and development evolves over time and she might come back to them. I know that I feel cross with myself that I re-purposed a lot of my children's toys and wished I had kept them - things like Duplo - I ended up buying again for the next generation:eek:

asylumdweller

Lalaladybird,

We have 4 children; they're all happy.

We used to purge the kids toys and general rubbish from time to time. If we hadn't, there would have been piles. They were given the choice of do it yourself, or it will be done for you, and they were given a voice in what stayed. Remember, a family is rarely a democracy, kids are kids and you are in charge. You've every right to determine what stays and what goes in your family; just be reasonable, as I'm sure you are.

Most children have far too much anyway, but often there's a few things they play with regularly, like lego. The little one's would often rather play with boxes and pots & pans anyway.

As for family activities, we've found the old, traditional board games brilliant and games from the Green Game Company. It's also fun to spend a couple of hours baking simple little cakes. Yep, flour ends up everywhere, but they love it and end up with tasty results.

Remember, you are not their friend, you are far more important than that as their parent(s).

Dunroamin

OP, are you just generally declattering or is there some large moral/philisophical purpose behind it? I get the impression that it might be the latter.

aliasojo

LottieLou wrote: »

I'm all for having a clear out once in a while, my mum used to have frequent 'decluttering' sessions. However, she threw away my much loved polly pockets and my little pony. I was so so unbelievably gutted, and still am!! I know its only toys, but to me they were priceless objects i wanted to keep forever (or atleast throw them away myself when i felt they were cluttering my space)

I have just told my 13 year old during a casual conversation that I have her Barbies, Polly Pockets and (some of) her My Little Ponies stored in the loft. She thought we had got rid of them all. She now wants them down to see them as she 'loved' them.

No chance. I should have got rid of them all at the time but I was swayed by my own experience as a child where my Mum gave away my Wendy House and some other stuff to our neighbour's little girl. I was very upset and 40 years later I still feel hard done to tbh. :rotfl:

I have all the eldest's Lego and the middle one's Power Rangers stored away as well.

However, I am just about to start the decluttering process again and go through boxes in the garage that hold kitchen stuff that hasn't seen the light of day in 18 months. I know there are mugs in there, mostly all 'collectible' shaped mugs and big plastic drinks tankard things we brought back from Florida years ago. A 'Blizzard Beach' tankard just isn't the same in a rural Scottish garden.

I have loads of coats, some are new and tagged. I wear one all year round because it's the only one that fits me. I keep them as I know I need to lose weight for health reasons and I keep hoping I'll fit into them one day. Years later, I'm clearly failing at that!

OP, like others, I'd get rid of broken stuff etc but not stuff that's still looked at/used even if it is only for 10 minutes at a time.

thunderbird

With kids toys, I think that if they don't play with it but haven't outgrown it then just put it away. Completely away, like boxed up and put in the attic. Then you can get them out again at a later date and it will be as if they are new toys to them.

With clothes, save the older children's clothes and shoes for the younger ones. The younger ones will surely outgrow theirs soon enough and then you can pass them on/recycle them.
I would treat it as from now on not replacing items that are outgrown/worn out (unless absolutely essential) rather than actually getting rid of any.

suki1964

Our grandson has more toys then a child needs at ours so when the box looks like its about to spill its contents yet again we take everything out and let him choose what stuff goes to the CS. Sometimes it's just a few old mc d things, other times he will choose a game he's not played with in months

Hes growing up fast and his interests are changing. Nowadays he's more for playing on his bike or our iPad then with toy cars

System

When i was a teenager it was only then that i found out that Mom had binned my beloved 'Pandy' many years ago. It didnt matter about anything else she had chucked but i thought 'Pandy' was in the loft. I was so upset.

Only 2 of my 5 children took to a specific cuddly toy as infants and i was sure that their beloved soft toy wouldnt be disposed of in the same way as 'Pandy' was.

In fact when my daughter moved out of home 18 months ago i presented her with her much loved 'AG Bear', though he no longer talks and looks a bit worse for wear she was over the moon. He is now sitting on a bed in her spare room. One day she might chuck him but it wasnt my place to before she was ready.

My youngests' 'Boo Boo' is under my bed waiting to be presented to him when he leaves home. Whether he will take it though is a different matter.

jackomdj

Every so often I ask my children to sort through their toys and find some to go to the car boot sale or charity shop.

A friend used to teach at a residential primary school (the children all had issues and many were in the foster system). We used to get a bag of soft toys together for her to give to the children. Mine, who were 3 and 6 when she stopped working there, loved gathering toys for her, but they would sometimes want to donate ones which were special ones.

We have toys that ey ignore for months, then suddenly they become the best toy on the planet!

bestpud

Ooh, I'm having a radical declutter too!

I went half way a couple of years back but I am still craving empty space. I've decided to go with it after a few years of telling myself I won't like it once it's done.

I got rid of around 10 mugs - we've kept 6 for guests and we each have our own, so we still have 10. I can't imagine more people than that coming round and wanting a hot drink, unless it was a planned event and I'd just borrow mugs if that happened.

I wouldn't declutter for someone else but I do keep drawings and things to a minimum - we'd drown in a sea of pictures otherwise!

Do your bit first and then encourage them to think about what they really want. It's always easier to give things a good home than simply chucking them.

I'm not sure about the half hour rule - that seems over the top and controlling.

Is this about you needing control for some psychological reason? I think you may benefit from examining your reasons behind the change in lifestyle.

You can control your environment to an extent but you're onto a loser if you think you can control people.

It will be easier to think in terms of watching what stuff they have in the future and getting them to maybe follow a one in, one out rule when looking at future purchases.

It's a bit like children who are overweight - I believe the idea is to stop them gaining the normal growing weight rather than get them to lose any as such - I'm thinking like that when it comes to my child's clutter.

SavingPennies_2

Op I am sensing a bit of hostility towards your post from a few of the replies and I'm not sure why, maybe there are a few hoarders on this forum. I don't have children so wont comment on the second part of your post but as far as decluttering your own stuff i can't see what the big deal is. I feel so much better after a good sort out, like lighter mentally if that makes sense. My home feels more relaxed and pleasant. I don't get rid of special or sentimental things but lets be honest most things are just "stuff", material things we don't need and realising we can happily live without them can be very liberating.

I also think that having a few good quality nice things is better than loads of cheap stuff so I buy a lot less these days but when I do buy something I make sure i really like it and that it will last.

I suggest you take a look on the old style board as there is a similar thread on there I think someone posted you a link further back.