Hopeless at sticking to a budget

kazl_2

I've been doing this since December and and really struggling at the moment due to my lack of willpower and ability to say no! The shopping spend is gradually creeping up and the kids seem to need money for things constantly but the biggest problem is me! I seem to have zero willpower when it comes to cutting back and really need to get back on track. I'm not spending like mad and have bought hardly anything for myself or DH. Just find it hard to see the kids do without so do stupid things like treat DD to an outfit for £27 yesterday - and what makes it even worse was that she wasnt even nagging for it and was going to give me £16 towards it but I offered to buy it

So how am I going to manage on £90 for next 2 weeks when my fuel spend alone is £35 a week! And how am I going to get back on track?

lynsayjane

hiya kaz

can i ask how old your kids are? if they are old enough have you explained that your on a limited budget and so various luxuries unafordable? I know it's hard for your kids to go without, you want to give them everything, but you'll be in a much better position to treat them a year or two down the line.

perhaps you can show them responsible money management by giving them pocket money instead of buying them clothes etc and try to teach them about budgetting etc not only will it help you financially but it'll stand them in good stead once they leave the nest.

kazl_2

lynsayjane wrote: »

hiya kaz

can i ask how old your kids are? if they are old enough have you explained that your on a limited budget and so various luxuries unafordable? I know it's hard for your kids to go without, you want to give them everything, but you'll be in a much better position to treat them a year or two down the line.

perhaps you can show them responsible money management by giving them pocket money instead of buying them clothes etc and try to teach them about budgetting etc not only will it help you financially but it'll stand them in good stead once they leave the nest.

they're 17 and 15. For years we have lived beyond our means hence the debt and I'm finding it really difficult to get my head round the way we need to be living now. It difficult because they have no reason to think anything has changed, they dont know about the debts. We've discussed telling them but we dont want to. We are making progress but I'm finding it tough at the moment.

lynsayjane

kazl wrote: »

they're 17 and 15. For years we have lived beyond our means hence the debt and I'm finding it really difficult to get my head round the way we need to be living now. It difficult because they have no reason to think anything has changed, they dont know about the debts. We've discussed telling them but we dont want to. We are making progress but I'm finding it tough at the moment.

it's a very very tough call, I didn't find out my mum was in a serious amount of debt until I told her of my 4k, thought she'd go mad at me for it. do your kids have part time jobs? again you could encourage them to start fiancial planning that way, they'd have their own wages then to spend as they will, if it goes on sweets the first day then they are stuck till next payday.

unfortunatly there isn't a lot of advice I can give you. Do the meal planning to try and control your food shopping, start a spending diary to control your random spends, spend an hour in the shop debating on whether you need or merely want something...

kazl_2

on the subject of part time jobs - thats one of the prolems at the moment. DD had a part time job but we asked her to give it up - long story but also because it was such and awful place she was working in. Offered to pay her to do ironing to help her (and me out). See I'm just too soft

Penny2myName

I know alot of parents feel it is best to keep their children in ignorance of household finances. 'Let them enjoy their childhood' 'its nothing to do with them' 'their children and shouldn't have to worry about it'
All well and good, till they feel hurt when you snap at them for no reason (least to them there is no reason as they dont KNOW why your snapping) when they ask and continuously keep badgering over something you cant afford.
I know what my DD is like, she was doing martial arts and swimming lessons (all my children where) and also wanted to start ice-skating lessons. Anyhow when i had to give work up, she not only couldn't do ice-skating but her other interests had to stop to. I openly explained to them how much a decrease we were going to have to deal with, and they knew I had recently taken out a financial contract on our new lounge and dining suites, DS was with me.
My DD actually came into my room during the early hours and offered to bike to school rather than use the bus (we live 9 miles away from her school) so as to help save some money. I did a compromise with her, I bought her a bike (£50 sales asda) and said if she got the train to town then she could bike it.
We have worked it out and she actually cycles 9miles total a day anyhow to get to school and back including have the break on the train. Her fares range upto £2.25 a week (if ticket man turns up before she gets off the train) instead of the old busfare of £8.00 This is saving us (me) a minimum of £23 a month to use towards bills and debts.
My daughter is 12, yet even though she isn't having all the shiny goods that money can buy, she does have her childhood. (after homework that is) She also wants to do a paper round, but I have informed her she is too young at the moment, but once she is old enough than she may.

Queenie

The best *gift* you can give your children is teaching them by example how to manage money and the pitfalls of not managing it.

You probably felt like you were "treating" your DD when you bought that outfit (and refused to accept a contribution) but now the pay off is that you are going to struggle with day to day expenses because of it.

Have you ever seen that programme "Honey we're killing the kids"? Where they show parents the predicted outcome of their children as adults if they continue to eat/live with their current lifestyle?
Well it might help curb your impulse to treat your kids if you imagine *them* struggling with debt and the stress/sleepless nights/anxiety and strife that it entails.
How would you feel if they were experiencing all of that through simply not being taught, literally and through example, how to budget, make tough choices and find the willpower to say no to certain things?

I love my children and I wouldn't want them to have to endure some of the hardships that I have had; so I teach them budgeting, they know when we are saying no in the short term so that we have can something in the long term. Instant gratification is a powerful pull and it can be the toughest to resist - unless you have a longer term goal you are aiming for and are focused on.

What is your longer term goal? If it's being debt free by 2011 - what wonderful 'reward' do you have planned with the money you'll be saving? If you are paying for example, £200 per month off your debts to be debtfree by 2011, what will you be saving the £200pm towards in 2012? That's where your focus should be. If it's a dream holiday, get pictures of it, put it up on your noticeboard, a smaller copy in your purse, another on your bedroom ceiling.

At least then, when the urge to splurge strikes you may stand a better chance of resisting. Also, it might be worth reminding yourself that, at this moment in your life, you can't afford to be generous At least next time let her contribute - it's good for you and it's good for her!

Best of luck!!

Penny2myName

Queenie said things soooooooooooooo much better than me.

kazl_2

Thanks for the comments. Made uncomfortable reading but its all true.

I didnt help DD by getting her the outfit because she spent the money I wouldnt take off her anyway.

Long term goals - 2011 seems like such a long way off but we need persevere. I would like to move house - not some huge mansion just something a little bit bigger and detached (currently listen to frequent bouts of World War 3 from next door :rolleyes: ). And our big weakness is holidays so would be nice to be able to pay cash for nice holidays (we've had them before which but shouldnt have done )

I've told the kids we are a bit hard up til payday and need to make crisps etc last and they seem to think its highly amusing so maybe not so bad :rotfl:

kazl_2

Oh and we are currently paying £1200 a month off debts (plus £1000 mortgage!) so we will be very comfortable when we've paid it all - roll on 2011 or sooner if possible

kazl_2

Thought I'd give an update. 5 days until payday and have £24 left so unbelievably I think we might be ok. Need to pay:
Bus fares £6
Tickets to DD show at college £4.50
Petrol £10
Total £20.50

Left over £3.50 :j