problems with ex

justontime

As a NRPP I would say that if you can possibly do both journeys do it without arguing with the ex. Forget about who is right and who is wrong and just focus on your partner having enjoyable contact with the children and the children having a happy and loving relationship with both parents. Believe me once you start arguing she can find countless ways to make things difficult for your partner and it could eventually lead to a complete breakdown in contact. I know it is really hard trying to deal with an unreasonable ex but keep in mind that it is the children that matter. We have been through years of heartache, I will spare you the details and perhaps our problems couldn't have been avoided, but if you have a reasonly settled arrangement do everything in your power to hang on to it.

wilky26

Fbaby - my partner moved in with me ans its onky about half hour away but when I have rhe car for work its near on impossible to pick kids up and drop them off woyld mean taking around three buses or exoensive taxie fares. We just want some flexibility and understanding that if im working then unkess she helps us out then the children dont get to see their dad.
I understand that the unfairness can be bith ways but we arw genuinely trying to work with her for the sake of the children.

Justontime- if we can do both then we will but theres going to be plenty of times when im at work and can onky do one of the trips what if we have picked the children up and im calledd into work on the day they are due to go hone? How do we get them hone? There needs to be a degree of flexibility on both side to make this work, and his ex as made it perfectly clear that there is no room for flexibility.

Madkittykat

Could your partner take you to work, then use the car and pick you up again, or you get to work another way? Not ideal but as long as she doesn't know it's putting you out she may relent sometime down the line.

his_wife

Can you not meet half way with the children?,,, my ex moved a five hour drive away, north, yet he expected me to either drop off or pick off,,,,,i was , at the time a non car driver,,, however, for the sake of my children, i paid a neighbours petrol, to meet him half way, to pick and drop children off.

My husbands ex moved three hours away, south, yet she expected my husband to pick up and drop his daughter off, it was a case of, if you want to see her, u will pick up and drop off , u wont see her, and i will tell her you cant be bothered!!

I understand your frustration, so for the sake of the kids, i hope you can come to a compromise

Trying_to_be_good

My OH's ex moved the children abroad (without permission or a court order) and we had to fly all four of them back here for contact visits, which reduced contact to once per month rather than every other weekend - to be honest, I'd suggest you just count yourself lucky that it's only half-an-hour away, and maintain the moral high ground of putting the kids (and contact) first. They'll know as they grow up who's looking out for them.

Honest_broker07

Can i play devils advocate and say this is actually nothing to do with CSA.

It's more around access etc.

But when I was NRP, I bent over backwards so far I'm sure I nearly snapped my spine to accomodate her unreasonable demands, just so I could still see my kids