The Bankrupt Inn Function Room. Intrim AGM Results !

Tashja

Some one say free bar ??? lol

PMPL at Remmers Beckham joke too !!!!

T xx

gettingitsorted

Remmer wrote: »

David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience he skillfully mounts the Horse and appears in complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace.

Victoria admiringly watching her husband.


After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse around the neck shouting for it to stop.

Victoria starts to scream and shout for someone to help her husband as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horses neck.

David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse gallops along David's head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness.



Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!!!!

Hearing her screams, the Tesco's Security Guard comes out of the store and unplugs the horse.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :T :rotfl: :beer:

Mike_St_Helens

Tashja wrote: »

Some one say free bar ??? lol

PMPL at Remmers Beckham joke too !!!!

T xx

Why hello and welcome... See. Its clean !

What would you like ? Its free till 10

gettingitsorted

Tashja wrote: »

Some one say free bar ??? lol

PMPL at Remmers Beckham joke too !!!!

T xx

Welcome what can we get for you ?

Tashja

I better stick to Lemon and Lime please !!

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. After ordering their cornbread and
beans, they talk about the latest addition to their junkyard business.


Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to
cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real
distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says "Kin ya swallar?" The Woman
shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.


The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks
down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his
tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction
flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks
slowly back to the bar. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver',
but I ain't never seed nobody do it."

T xx

gettingitsorted

Yo DJ pump this party

gettingitsorted

Tashja wrote: »

I better stick to Lemon and Lime please !!

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. After ordering their cornbread and
beans, they talk about the latest addition to their junkyard business.


Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to
cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real
distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says "Kin ya swallar?" The Woman
shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.


The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks
down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his
tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction
flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks
slowly back to the bar. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver',
but I ain't never seed nobody do it."

T xx

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Mike_St_Helens

gettingitsorted wrote: »

Yo DJ pump this party

DJ Jim is on... Its Mariah Dance for now.. but that will go when weve had a beer or 2 !

GIS, Go put the curry under a low hear... Where are all the regs tonite !!

Remmer

was in ASDA the other day buying a large bag of Pedigree for my dog, and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Pedigree Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she totally believed it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or handbag with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said "No..... I was sitting in the street licking my bum when a car hit me".

Tashja

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

See the person in the joke was feeling crabby when they told the woman in the queue that but that is the sort of thing I would say to a stupid person as routine !!!!

T xx