please help im in serious debt!!!!

bustiblondilocks

theres only 2 children...sometimes it feels more! lol

ive tried before to cut out the dinners but he is having none of it. he claims thats why he pays CSA and thats what the money should pay for! I keep telling myself that at least i know they have had a decent meal that day so if all he gives them is toast and honey it doesnt matter as much.

bustiblondilocks

my credit score is so bad that i am now unable to open even a basic account to try and keep it all seperate. my only choice is to save hard, spend less...lots less and try to sell some things!

dancingfairy

It's a shame you have to fork out for school dinners because your ex refuses to give your children a good meal :mad: He sounds horrid and controlling.
With regards to the basic bank account then there is something funny going on there - the whole point of a basic bank account is that you are not credit checked. They should only turn you down if there are fraud issues or id verification issues. Are you 100% sure they actually applied for a basic bank account for you or did they apply for a no frills account (ie bog standard) which they claimed was a basic account but they actually credit checked you?
It would be worth lisiting your debt and the aprs as well.
One of the first it might be worth tackling is the overdraft as it is costing you 35 a month - how much is it?
Have you got anything you can sell at all? car boot/ebay?
If you list the debts etc you may find someone can advise on how to shuffle them or transfer debts from a higher interest card to a lower one or what order to pay them in.
Best of Luck
df
P.S Have you considered a DRO at all? It might be a bit overkill but it depends on whether your arecurrently managing your debt or not. Despite saying you have money left over it also sounds like thedebt is increasing? Anyway it may be worth looking into a DRO to see if you qualify.

evie451

your ex sounds as much of an idiot as mine........sigh......terrible battles with him through the CSA to even get money for the kids, he went over a year not paying anything and this was after I had my hours at work halved so was really struggling......During this non payment period I wanted him to get his son a coat for winter, which he refused to do (he is the MD of his own Engineering firm 15 employees nice range rover etc)......I could only really work it out in my own head that he sort of sees the kids as an extension of me? thats why potentially hurting them was ok? or possibly that he knew I wouldnt let them suffer so it was me going without dinner etc that paid for the coat so that was all good? I retain/regained my sanity after I just stopped bothering to ask him for anything and left him to it no communication at all (kids are big enough now to do it themselves) and I dont let it bother me.......
Keep coming on here its great advice and very therapeutic, its changed how I do everything.......:D

soontobemrsg

Hi,
Without a full SOA it's hard to see where money can be saved but clearly from what you have posted the gym and kiddies clubs would be the first off the list.

Join MyFitnessPal website and there's loads of great info on the forums there for exercises without the need to attend the gym including many links to free youtube videos and info on bodyweight training.

There are also many free activities that the kids could enjoy or those at a minimal cost, if their music lessons are via school see if you could get them at a reduced cost due to financial hardship and if they are after school why not check if the school runs any that could be cheaper? Are they individual lessons - why not look at group lessons instead?

Do you get any rent rebate on your wage? May be worth checking with your local housing benefit office if you are entitled to anything.

They are things off the top of my head but with a full SOA I'm certain people could come up with many more.

RAS

bustiblondilocks wrote: »

my credit score is so bad that i am now unable to open even a basic account to try and keep it all seperate. my only choice is to save hard, spend less...lots less and try to sell some things!

your credit score is irrelevent when you apply for a basic bank account; as no credit check is done.

You need to sort that out urgently. There are about 20 accounts to choose from.

newsgroup_monkey

Hi BBL,

Anyone can open a basic bank account - no credit check needed.

Co-op (IIRC) do one for people that are bankrupt, so shouldn't be a problem for yourself.

As for maintenance, I'm shocked you only get £110 a month. That implies that your ex is on minimum wage? I would ask the CSA to re-evaluate.

Allypops

bustiblondilocks wrote: »

oh sorry i dint answer your question Allypops......

As i am working and get working tax credits it means im not elligable for free school meals and our area dont do the uniform grants.

But its something i had to look into! so thankyou for new ideas! Theyre always welcome! xx

No worries, just sorry that you wont get any help on that front.

Allypops

lee111s

Stop paying to charity too.

sisbod

a little idea re the after school clubs! If you send them there so you can work and if they are ofsted'ed then you can claim for them as child care. therefore killing 2 birds with 1 stone - kids enjoy the clubs you can work and still reduce the bill.
I know that you are not keen on getting benefits but I have never understood why it is so important for people to feel sad about it. IMO you are being paid to be a parent and you hadn't chosen to be single. Enjoy your kids and work as best as you can but DON'T feel guilty for doing it - you will make up for it in the future,

x