Not sure what to do

Tammyj1992

Basically I'm not sure what to do. I leant my brother (who has aspergers) some money on a credit card as he went over on his phone bill. He also owes me money for his phone as it used to be mine but I upgraded to a newer phone. He used to be on income support but got changed over to ESA as he turned 18 in December he says this still hasn't been sorted and it's February's now and I have a feeling he's had the money through but just doesn't want to give me the money back. When I gave him the phone he said he could afford it every month. Is there anything I can do to get the money back from him. As he has aspergers he's very difficult to deal with most of the time and I keep asking him for the money back but I'm not sure what to do about this.

Yorkie1

I'm not sure I quite understand.

1. The credit card. Did you give/loan him money to pay off a credit card bill? Was this documented as a loan and had he reached 18 at the time?

2. The phone.

- Do you mean that he just owes you a certain sum of money to pay you for the phone itself? Again, was this documented?

- Or do you mean that you are paying his contract for him until he gets himself sorted out? In which case, are you still named on the contract?


Looking at the last scenario first, if you are still on the contract then I suggest you look at ways to extricate yourself from the contract. Being responsible for paying bills over which you have no control is risky for your own credit worthiness and you should take steps to avoid this position, whether he's your brother or not, unless you have sufficient funds for it not to be an issue at all for you.

As for the other scenarios, if he refuses to discuss this, and won't repay the money, what do you want to be the outcome?

If you've got it documented, do you want to take him to court (assuming he was old enough to form a legal contract on which you could sue)? I think unlikely you'd want to do this to your brother?

Are your parents able to assist, perhaps, if they are able to communicate with him more easily?

Otherwise, you may have to accept that the money is gone, and to learn from this time.

Wickedkitten

I'm guessing the op took out the money as a cash advance on her credit card. Ask him for the money.

Tammyj1992

Yorkie1 wrote: »

I'm not sure I quite understand.

1. The credit card. Did you give/loan him money to pay off a credit card bill? Was this documented as a loan and had he reached 18 at the time?

2. The phone.

- Do you mean that he just owes you a certain sum of money to pay you for the phone itself? Again, was this documented?

- Or do you mean that you are paying his contract for him until he gets himself sorted out? In which case, are you still named on the contract?


Looking at the last scenario first, if you are still on the contract then I suggest you look at ways to extricate yourself from the contract. Being responsible for paying bills over which you have no control is risky for your own credit worthiness and you should take steps to avoid this position, whether he's your brother or not, unless you have sufficient funds for it not to be an issue at all for you.

As for the other scenarios, if he refuses to discuss this, and won't repay the money, what do you want to be the outcome?

If you've got it documented, do you want to take him to court (assuming he was old enough to form a legal contract on which you could sue)? I think unlikely you'd want to do this to your brother?

Are your parents able to assist, perhaps, if they are able to communicate with him more easily?

Otherwise, you may have to accept that the money is gone, and to learn from this time.

The credit card and phone are both in my name with the credit card I said I would pay the bill and he agreed to pay me back this money and keep paying the phone bill every month. i did this so that we could keep in contact because he doesn't live with us anymore and because he has the aspergers it's important we keep in regular contact. I tried yesterday to change the name on the phone account but as there's an outstanding balance I can't change the name which means its affecting my credit rating which is very poor.

juliebunny

I don't know the impact of Aspergers, or how much you are talking about,but he is family, write it off, but don't lend him any more money?

Kayalana99

juliebunny wrote: »

I don't know the impact of Aspergers, or how much you are talking about,but he is family, write it off, but don't lend him any more money?

Agreed. Never lend money to family unless your sure your going to get it back or not bothered if you do.

My sister still owes me £500 and neither of us mention it. Think it's better that way as she can't afford to pay it back but I've already wrote it off in my head and probally wouldn't accept more now if she did get back on her feet.

Top_Girl

I'd change the phone contract to incoming calls only til he'd paid me back, then change it to his name.

That's based on experiences with my brother, who is a born sponger though, to be fair.

Maybe try and sort a payment plan with him?

minimoneysaver

Maybe he needs help sorting out his benefits?

serenity2012

Even if he did get his ESA its not likely to be very much and i doubt he can afford to repay you which is why he's not doing so. If the phone is in your name you simply get it turned off. Any other money owed I think due to his condition and circumstances and the fact that he's young and family, needs to be written off and as someone else said, lesson learned.

DeeDee74

Never take out credit or lend to family member's if you cant afford to pay it yourself.. ive been burnt twice with family members couldnt afford to pay it and got left debt.. bad iidea all round, have the phone blocked or your end up in a worse mess than what you are now.