economic differences between couples

bargaindoctor

A friend of mine is having some troubles in his relationship because of difference in income with partner. As his best mate I want to help him but I don't have much experience with these things. Just wondering what everyone's experiences are with being in relationships with social - economical dichotomies - ie a relationship between a couple with big socioeconomic differences, which is rare, but does happen, and if you think I am right to say that this is perhaps the end of their relationship

burnoutbabe

he's a good catch, she'll get knocked up soon :thumbs:

i tend to fancy guys who earn 1/3 of me and don't fancy the city boy types. Not sure men like it though, not being the bread winner. not that i like fancy things but the fact i have zero money worries does intimidate some guys.

lynzpower

It really does depend on the relationship to be honest.

Money has always been a big deal for us, I went through a stage of not earning and being in recipt of benefits, he has always been low paid since meeting me & moving to london. I have qualifications and he doesnt. I now pull home about 2k a month again, he pulls in 800. I sold my flat so I have significant savings now, ( we now rent) and I know it does bother him. He wants to be the knight on horseback paying for dinner in paris, but to be honest, I dont really give a toss, Im happy with a bag of chips TBH.

The most important thing is that we are happy. Its never easy being happy when your skint but we can go for a walk in the park and its just as good as a flash dinner ( sometimes better, meals out are overrated IMHO) cos we love spending time together. If we were destiturte we'd probably make the best of it.

Isnt it the issue that hes just not that into her.All this time apart? I mean, I just couldnt do it. I walked for 6 hours to see my OH once- nothing will stand in the way of us spending time together ( apart from working :mad:)

He needs to stop playing the victim here- He doesnt HAVE to pay her rent- he chooses to. He doesnt HAVE to pay for meals out he could buy a pot noodle and share it. I think these days we are so obsessed with money in relationships, many fail to see beyond that- its as if without the fancy holidays, meals out, cinema & dates there IS no relationship. If thats your idea of relationships, then to my mind it wont last.

Saying that if My OH wanted to do a course (even a degree) Id pay for it if thats what he really truly wanted, making him happy is the most important thing to me and where theres a will theres a way. I wouldnt completely bankroll him tho, but your mate has given rope to hang himself here and if he wants the relationship to survive, he has to say no, and work out the inequalities where they are both comfortable.

Errata

They're not paddling in the same puddle. Their wants and needs may be completely different. Tell him to talk to her and tell her how what he's feeling and find out what she's feeling about the whole situation. They need to communicate - it's not bl00dy rockect science !

kr15snw

I dont think the money is the main problem, their is probably other differences (like someone suggested, if they want different things).

Me and my boyfriend are complete opposites when it comes to money. He works full time and earns enough to pay his mortgage, the bills and still have treats. Im a student and have no money! I use the little money I have to pay for food and to pay certain one off bills (tv lisence, car tax etc). Yes he supports me, and he pays for a lot of things. But we make things fair by both going without it we cant afford both of us to go (we go to away games following plymouth argyle). But our logic is once Im qualified then I will be earning and I will be able to pay this back to him.

I wouldnt think money was their problem, but I definately think there could be other problems there.

daveo999

You could always try http://www.friends-dating.co.uk , this is a good site to meet friends or a date, also include lots of articles and advice. The site is FREE, and exclusive to the UK.

Tam_Lin

I was in a situation like that, and it didn't work out. I was earning £11k, he was on £100k plus. He paid for everything otherwise we'd have had to stay in, but I felt uncomfortable with that; problem was, he didn't want to do cheap or free things like I did, so it ended.

bargaindoctor

thanks very much