No Longer A NewMrs - Divorce Help

NewMrs

Hubby and I split a week before Christmas (we were only married 14 months) and have now decided we are going to divorce.

I have no clue what to put on the application forms I found on the direct.gov website as he left because he wanted to be with someone else and the "I don't love you any more" but I cannot prove adultery. Next one is unreasonable behaviour but I don't want him to contest it for what I put if I do use that

Our local court doesn't take divorce cases so do I just send them to the next local one after that?

Lilith1980

Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your marriage.

My first marriage ended after 18 months so we had to go down the unreasonable behaviour route. Luckily I had many options to choose from!

Given the way in which your husband has left the marriage, are you on speaking terms? I only ask so that perhaps you could have a conversation with him and agree what to put on the forms as unreasonable behaviour. That is what I did with my ex-husband.

I'm not sure where you would send the forms to be honest - I did mine online as I am nervous about the forms so these were sent off for me.

Alter_ego

Desertion? Or perhaps living with someone else is unreasonable behaviour?

ellay864

Sorry to hear about your marraige. It sounds like your husband is a willing party to the divorce? If so, especially if he has met a new partner, he may be keen to speed things up. If you're on talking terms he may agree to have adultery cited, you don't have to name anybody else, as it would allow it to process more quickly.
If he doesn't agree you could be awkward like a friend of mine was (assuming the law hasn't changed since then) - she told her ex that if he wouldnt admit adultery and get it over with quickly she wouldn't agree to a divorce and would make him wait til 5 years separation. At that point he pretty quickly agreed!

fluffnutter

You say 'have now decided we are going to divorce' so I assume this is something that you discussed, albeit perhaps briefly and not very productively.

He's left you, you both want to divorce. I think he should agree to whatever reason you want to give, frankly. You don't need to prove adultery provided it's not contested and seeing as he also wants to divorce, why would he contest it? Gone are the days that any sort of stigma is attached to the reason for divorce; he can't be penalised for being an 'adulterer'.

I know it's hard but speak to him. It's far better if you two can communicate civilly. Drop him an email if you can't face talking to him in person. Just say 'I'm putting adultery down. Trust that's OK. The sooner we get this sorted the better'.

NewMrs

Thanks for all the help so far. We're 'talking' via email but not face to face or on the phone. I have changed all my numbers because I had to (old mobile and home phone was in his name and I had to change them over, giving me new numbers)

Apparently it wasn't a sexual relationship with the other party concerned (who apparently he's now no loner with anyway) so I wouldn't actually be able to claim adultery, it would have to be unreasonable behaviour. Plus the attempts to take his own life and me having to leave/miss work because of it.

fluffnutter

It's got to be unreasonable behaviour then. Again, if he doesn't contest it, it should be straightforward.

NewMrs

Agreed on paperwork, have a certified copy of the marriage certificate to send with the papers to the court but as I'm on a low income I am entitled to help with the court fees.

Do I apply for that BEFORE I send the papers or do I apply at the same time? I can't find a definite answer anywhere!

TIA

pigpen

inappropriate associations with other women.
Emotional distress.. caused by the above.

Tigsteroonie

OP, did you find the answer to which court to use? The answer is on this page of Gov.uk, with links to the list that is on the divorce leaflet.

Take a look at the Wikivorce website, it answers many questions about the process and has a thriving forum of experts and those going through similar situations.

NewMrs

Yep, I know which court I have to use now. Will go have a look at the wikivorce website now, thanks Tigsteroonie