Childcare costs - working mums did you go back to work after first baby?

sterl1ng

Whilst i'm hoping to get to this stage maybe once things for me have settled down I'm working how work life will be after baby. Honestly i'm not terribly thrilled by my job but as with most folk it pays the bills so obviously i'd go back after maternity leave (I get 6mths full pay of leave so thinking just go back to work after that) but then i'm thinking about childcare...I called a few places and for full 5 days its about £1k but would I really want that? I even thought about maybe negotiate with boss to work from home at least once a week but I have to say i'm a bit concerned on the costs but also I don't want to put out my OH's mum in raising my child.

How did you all plan that and did you go back to work in end/negotiate different work plan?

claire16c

Does your work offer child care vouchers?

Could you use a childminder or nursery 2 days a week & your OH 2 days? Or something similar?

mysk_girl

I went back after having my first child, to do 3 days a week. My MIL had my daughter for 2 days and she went to nursery for 1 day. I used child care vouchers to pay for the nursery. I was lucky that MIL offered and we get on very well. Her only proviso was "my house, my rules" - but as I like her very much (and married a child she brought up!) I was happy with that. In 4 years since (and another 2 children...) we've never had any disagreements about the rules. I think it is good for children to learn there are different rules in different places, anyway.

I returned to work after having my second child as well, this time to do 4 short days (8-2, Tue-Fri). Then I used a combination of MIL, childminder and preschool. It got complicated, and more than once I turned up to the wrong place to get the kids!

I'm currently on mat leave with no. 3 - she's 11 weeks old and perfect :-) ongoing discussions about returning to work right now...

Hubby and I both sacrifice for vouchers to help with the cost, saving us loads as he is higher rate but has been in the scheme since before April 2012 so he can still sacrifice £243 a month, I think they've limited it for higher rate payers now.

It's hard work making it work, but it is worth it! I would really try for part time if you can, I convinced my boss by going through everything I did and demonstrating how the business wouldn't be affected. He, luckily, agrees with me!

Kayalana99

Have you considered a childminder? they are usally slightly cheaper and alot more personal. Just to add my baby is 6months now and I wouldn't feel right leaving him so early - not because of guilt but I am still weaning him and he likes alot of attention (heres where a child minder would come in handy if you go back at 6months although even they will have thier hands full!)

ALIBOBSY

I would say unless you really love your job, you will regret more leaving your baby too early or full time. I would say look at part time work and price up the child care options.

Remember you will get child benefit and depending on your partners salary probably some tax credits. With my eldest I stayed off with him till he was around 7-8 months then went back part time, but mum had him so I knew he was well looked after and she refused to take money off us-I used to buy/bring things I knew she wouldn't have bought normally such as extra milk, nappies, wipes, homemade baby meals, yoghurts and DS's fav breakfast cereal when he was older.

With DD1 I stayed off till she was 2 and it worked out well as I was able to be there to get DS settled when he started school. I went back again part time and mum kindly offered to have DD1 for the 2 days and DS after school. So because of mum the childcare costs were minimal and I was lucky. When I had DD2 I felt it would have been unfair to let her offer again and I suspect she would have felt she should offer and really she wasn't up to 3 of them and school runs etc, plus both mum and dad were retired by then.

So I looked at childcare and it was sooo expensive. When I weighed up the costs of running 2 cars, the extra petrol and the childcare costs, plus the savings to be made if I was a SAHM and could spend more time, meal planning, shopping for the best deals and cooking/baking stuff from scratch and finally I looked at the tax credits if I was earning and if our award was based on just OH's earnings and tbh we were better off by around £100 a month if I stayed home. So for me I became a SAHM from then onwards-we now have a further DD.

I would weigh up the options and costs but try to leave things fairly open ended if you can (some works are more flexible than others) as you may well find you want to spend longer at home with the baby than you originally planned for, or conversely be desparate to get back to the adult world of work lol.

Ali x

sterl1ng

Hmmm, this is a tricky one. I would really like to maybe look at negotiating the work from home card before part time as I'm the main breadwinner so bit difficult. Whislt I get on well with OH mum my concern is I don't want to put her out plus don't liket he idea of someone raising my child. I guess i'll have to thinkt his more whenever it comes to it but my thought was just go back to work or maybe take full year out and budget for the other 6mths then look at childcare/OH mum/sister. Its a shame my family doesn't live nearby :S

sweaty_betty

I went back to work after 6 months for financial reasons - I am the main wage-earner and my OH was in the early stages of a new career so him taking time out would have made life difficult in the long term.

I would've like to have stayed off longer but as I only had 12 weeks on full pay we simply couldn't afford more than another 14 weeks on SMP. OP you are very fortunate to have 6 months full pay, I'm envious!

I went down to 4 days a week and LO was in nursery the rest of the time. It does cost a lot of money (probably around £1k a month if LO was in 5 days) but we don't live near family so had no other option. We chose a nursery rather than a child minder simply because we needed the reliability of nursery (by this I mean that obviously sometimes childminders become ill and there isn't always someone to cover for them and they are also entitled to holidays, which may not coincide with ours). It's worked for us, although I think the cost of having another child in nursery would be quite difficult to afford - cross that bridge when we get to it, I guess.

So, I would look at all the options:

• consider if you can afford to take any more time off if you want to - you'll get SMP until 9 months (depending on how much time you took before the birth) which might work out to be cheaper than going back to work once you factor in childcare, travel costs etc
• see if you can/want to/afford to reduce your hours at work to work fewer days - by law companies have to consider an application for flexible working, although they don't have to agree to it
• as you have enhanced maternity pay (e.g. more than the 90% for 6 weeks then SMP) check how long you need to return to work for before needing to repay the enhanced mat pay (if not returning is an option)
• don't make the mistake of thinking you can work from home with a baby/toddler around - it's very difficult to do this and do either job well
• think about whether you be happy to have your MIL or other family member look after your child on a regular basis
• have a good talk to them if so, to ensure that they're willing to commit to 1-2 (or whatever) days per week on an ongoing basis (depending on age/health etc this make take its toll after a while)
• look into nurseries, child minders, nannies, etc - all the options and weigh up the costs, pros and cons etc.

Then you'll have the facts and you can base your decision on this. It's not easy being a working parent, but it can be done!

Good luck

ALIBOBSY

If you are the higher earner another option might be both you and OH reduce you hours if you can. Say you do 3 long days and he did 2 days to cover the week-even better if one of you works weekends and you can juggle an extra day/morning into the mix. If you can both fit hours around each others jobs you wouldn't need any extra childcare and with some budgeting and good planning you hopefully could cover any reduction in income.

Best bet inome wise is to start now trying to live on a tight budget and cut back as much as you can before the baby comes and save as much as possible to give you a cushion so you have the space and time to weigh up what you want to do once baby is here.

The thing is all these things can depend on where you live in the country as this effect house prices and therefore mortgage/rent payments as well as the cost of living in different areas. We are lucky that we live in the north west of the country and bought our house in 1999 so our mortgage is pretty reasonanble and alot less than renting would be. This mean we had more leeway to cut back. EG when I finished to have DD2 we knew OH's wage would cover all the bills as they were and the tax credits/child ben would feed us/cover extras, it was tight, but with some good budgeting we knew we could manage on one wage.

Had we been in the south of the country I suspect our mortgage and household costs may well have meant that wasn't an option.

So just throwing out some options to consider.

Good luck whatever you decide and enjoy you new babe they are so gorgeous at that age.

Ali x

sterl1ng

Thanks everyone, a lot of food for thought there.

Gordon_Hose

You couldn't work from home and look after a baby, trust me.

I work 5 days a week compressed into 4. 37.5 hrs a week. My partner went back to work after the birth of our child and works 4 days a week.

I now have 1 day "off" a week and she has Friday off so little 'un has 3 days in Nursery which is £550 a month. When he moves to the toddler room within the next 6 months it'll drop by £100.

Spendless

I didn't go back to my job after my 1st baby. Childcare costs were the equivalent of my wages, there was no financial help available to us for the costs and my employer didn't have part-time workers (the right to request flexible working didn't exist 13 years ago!). So not wanting to work full-time and not see my baby for no financial gain to our household I packed in. I didn't have a 'high powered' career though. I was an admin clerk in a sales office.

A few months later, following us getting stuck in France during the petrol strikes and arriving home to a large overdraft, I found a weekend/evening job instead, which incurred no childcare fees as hubby watched baby whilst I worked.