Anyone else feel like this...bit of a rant sorry

BEAR

Without going into too much detail I have spent the last 5 - 6rs battlign with my son and his attitude plus his drug taking ( cannabis pills not heroin). at one stage he could no longer live at home

so atm he is now at home doing an apprenteship at a pub but still has his flat. ( with us paying part rent) he hasbeen here six months, has been arrested once and after bursting into my room one right accusing me of stealing his weed we now insist on regular drugs test.

when he is the mood he can be charming and lovely and to give him credit he does work long hours. but the rest of the time he is horrible, growly obnoxious, demanding with a cant care less attitude. he has loads of debt but wont address it.

he has used any friend or girl he has contact with and the only people he sees are his drug friends which must make it harder fo rhim to stay off.

we live a few miles out of town and he rarely leaves the village, just plays his games or goes on pc on his breaks. I stay out of his way as much as i can as the very sight of me gets him in a mood.

whenever i try and talk to him about anything im just "chatting sh*t" and leave him alone.

I am grateful that he is where he is as he could have gone so much lower..it was only when he didnt have any options left that he agreed to college and we said he could come here to live.

but i am on edge every day wondering what mood he will come home in and how long it will be before he crashes and has to leave.

I am ashamed to say that he is just not nice,, he has no morals would rob a granny and i really feel sorry for whoever he ends up with as their live will be awful

the thought of this person being in my life for years just makes me want to shoot myself. I will stick it for as long as i can but the situation makes me ill. I feel i am just living day by day ad cannot seem to get up enough enthusiasm to do anything else. I know I am wasting my life but i think its his or mine. is there anyone else here with similar problems?

partialycloudy

Sounds just like my older brother! Some people are just born selfish and you will never be able to change that. My brother only grew up when my mum finaly stopped helping him so much.

She kicked him out and he had to sort himself out, no money hand outs or anything. It was hard for them both but had to be done.
Fast forward a few years and he is still, what i call, unsettled. Lives in a studio flat paid for by council and cannot do a "normal" job, my mum does help him every now and then but he knows that he can't push it too much.

Your son will only learn from his own experience. If all he knows is "dont worry, mum will sort me out" then that is what he will live by. He may get angry at first but hopefully time and a bit of real life experience will bring him round.

Good luck

Mojisola

I've seen a friend's relatives go through this. They ended up in their 70s, sick through stress but still having to work because they were raising their son's child (the mother having walked away to carry on with her drug-filled life).

Their lives had been miserable for years - the son didn't appreciate anything they had done for them and the grandson was a total pain because the grandparents didn't have the energy to bring him up properly and just gave in to all his demands. They regularly had the police at the house or phoning from the police station because they'd picked their son up again. Their lives were an endless nightmare.

Having seen what they went through, I wouldn't get in that situation no matter how much it would hurt to send a child off into the world knowing he's going to screw it up.