Disabled people better off seperated

optimisty

Was shocked when hubby and I joined local MS Society to find how many people had marriage breakdown. NOW I know why. We are in an impossible situation financially. We bought a second home for his parents to live in otherwise he would never see them again. Also as we have a baby boy, so with no pensions to speak of it made sense to try and make an investment.

RESULT: Husband now suffers severe disablement and lives downstairs unable to use stairs. We are not able to get financial assistance due to 'capitalised' income.

Option A: throw his elderly parents out on the street to fund the through floor lift O.T. say he needs. (not to mention shower provisions)

Option B: throw his elderly parents on the street ....bla bla you know the rest.

FED UP

midnightraven3

option c - move to a bungalow?

whilst its nice to have bought his parents a house, not many can afford to do that, they must have an income to contribute? i would love to buy my mother a house, but not to our family's detriment

CH27

Sell both houses & buy one big one that is suitable for all of you?

optimisty

only able to do afford it from money hubby had earned when he was able to work and before our little miracle of a son arrived.
Moving house is not an option, dont want to overcomplicate the thread, but trust me, home has stairs and we have to stay there.

optimisty

I do love my inlaws dearly. But... a 3 year old, disabled hubby and my very elderly inlaws all under one roof. Not sure I could manage that.

victor2

Sometimes life throws these situations at you and you have to deal with them.
You may desperately want to remain in your home with stairs, but maybe the only alternative to throwing his elderly parents out on the street is to make a sacrifice yourself and move to, or rent, somewhere more suitable to hubby's condition.

CH27

optimisty wrote: »

I do love my inlaws dearly. But... a 3 year old, disabled hubby and my very elderly inlaws all under one roof. Not sure I could manage that.

Could you rent somewhere more suitable & rent your house out?

FBaby

Isn't that what DLA should help funding? Is he not claiming? Are you working? Surely if you can't make ends meet financially, then it has to be accepted that the second home has to go. His parents have to accept that the situation is such that changes need to be made. He doesn't owe them to support them, especially in the current circumstances?

Joons

Sell both and buying cheaper properties? The benefits system is a real joke, my b/f became unemployed through no fault of his own, and could not get any benefits because they had estimated there was capital in the house we both owned! Yeah there was but we lived in it so I guess what they were saying was, sell your home and then we might consider you for any benefits. I had to do loads of research myself to find out the rules, even if you live in an owned property and the capital is summarised as being over 16 grand, you are entitled to nil benefits, no matter how much tax and ni you have paid in, mad eh.

optimisty

thanks for that,

ok I realise it is my own fault here, but I am uncomfortable putting some information up on this board. So fairs fair, I cannot expect people to give me some worthwhile feedback when they dont know all the facts. Needless to say moving house is NOT an option for us.

Selling his parents home would also, allow us to release some equity (which has reduced due to property slump). His parents in their 80's would have to rent somewhere and we would be left with a lift, and a bleaker future than the one M.S. is already carving for us.

NO WONDER government stats show children from homes with a disabled parent are more likely to live in poverty.

Believe me, we worked and saved hard for anything we have. Now, seems we will end up in the benefit trap despite our best efforts to become self sufficient.

Maybe it was always a loosing battle and we should have holiday'd more when hubby had some ability to travel. Instead we worked our pants off thinking we could create a little cushion.

FBaby

it sounds like you are victim to the one error you seem to have made and not take critical illness cover when you got your mortgages.

I do feel for you, it is indeed disheartening to have made sacrifices all your life to save with the view to enjoy your savings in the future rather than use it just to have what you already have and then less, but that's why in these cases it is especially important to insure any means to protect yourself.

If your son is 3, than it is only a year to go before he is at school and you can return to your career and earning a decent salary for the three of you?