Enter List Ideas (and more) To Exactitude (in shopping) thread

marrbett

nikkilala wrote: »

Well done you:T:T:T:TThey'll be no stopping you now;)Bet you walked out with the biggest, daftest smile on your face:rotfl:

Oh. you should have seen me!!!:rotfl:

The CS lady was lovely about it and said she was coming round for lunch!!

Naebbirac

A funny for those trying to give their cat a pill.:rotfl:(NOT to be actioned, I hasten to add)


1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink one beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the ****** cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13. Tie the ****** thing's front paws to rear paws with twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to A&E, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for Humane Society to collect mutant cat. Call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.


How to Give a Dog a Pill
1. Wrap it in bacon

nerfdad

Just went bact to mr t and im a misinformer:(SORRY.

T42

Emily_Rachel wrote: »

Don't worry your are not alone in finding this hard. None of the tescos staff can do it easily (or at all) either. If you want to do it you need a calculator.
I wouldn't have bought at your examples price, but obviously depends on your budget. The DTD is calculated:
Pack price 10.99 x 1.349 = 14.83
Price should be from SEL 8.00 x 1.349 = 10.79
Difference 14.83 - 10.79 = 4.04
So Double the Difference is 2 x 4.04, ie 8.08
Meaning pay 14.83, but get DTD 8.08 refund so actual final cost is 6.75

As I say, too expensive for me.Worth knowing how to work this out though, as customer service will probably get their sums wrong, but not necessarily wrong in your favour - although so far, for me, they have!!

Thank you!! Hopefully I bit of practice will pay off. I'm not going to go for this 6.75 lamb now. It is a wee bit expensive for just the one so I'm going to use these calcs you guys have taught me to look for the half priced sels in the future. Cheers!!!! :beer:

Iamsohappy

Shortfatscotsbloke wrote: »

A nice, friendly message to our lovely Irish contingent, particularly the one who sounds a bit French..

You're gonna get gubbed at Murrayfield the morra!!

End of nice, friendly message.:D

You not talking to me sfsb

We stick together here - ain't that right patty

hampydoodums

Naebbirac wrote: »

A funny for those trying to give their cat a pill.:rotfl:(NOT to be actioned, I hasten to add)

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Miss_Laid

Gawd how many time do you need to wash down grouted tiles before they stop having a white powdery film :mad:

MKS

marrbett wrote: »

MKS MKS...I got 2 legs of lamb practically free today, thanks to you!!! I'm so excited, I've never got a DTD before! Thankyou so much for the info.

Tinyshoes, there are food mags at tosco cspt, I only grabbed 3 as I was focussing on my lamb!!!

Oh, and I got my free parma ham.

You are more then welcome.:T:T:T They are fairly good for dtd there, aren't they? Were they still in the 'normal' place? Did you remember to check the pork loin steaks, pork and beef joints etc? They do tend to replace sel that have been removed by cs. The food mags were right at the bottom of the checkouts.

Welcome to the dtd club. :beer:

TrulyMadly

nikkilala wrote: »

Ones missing!Did you have to test it;)

There's 2 missing now:):D

madmuppet5

nerfdad wrote: »

Just went bact to mr t and im a misinformer:(SORRY.

Did you give your DTD back Nerfdad?