Grounds for divorce

pigpen

If he has had a new partner since you left that can be cited at adultery.

Unreasonable behaviour can beseemingly less important things like controlling money, being verbally abusive, refusing to have children, or demanding to have them.

Onwards.. My divorce just made for hard work, I very occasionally (when having a very bad day and needing a break) wish I'd just left things as they were, at least they were stable whereas now I am still walking on eggshells the whole time and still having the same issues with him.. my life is no easier that is a certainty. I just have to juggle keeping 2 men happy and all the children.. sometimes I just want to run away and hide.

traleegirl

My ex divorced me on the grounds that I had withdrawn affection when I found out that he had numerous affairs......oh and the fact that I went on holiday with my sister leaving him to look after our teenager children!! I could have dragged the process out by fighting the reasons but I just wanted the whole thing finished so didn't care what he put. OP I wish you luck...

caeler

My solicitor told me you can use the most minor reasons to petition for unreasonable behaviour these days. I used a combination of lack of love and affection (he left me for another women but little point petitioning on the grounds of adultery), lack of willingness to discuss matters, refusal to contribute to the family home repairs and financial matters which truthfully describes the misery he left me in. It did the job, although prepare yourself for him not to agree with the reasons cited but gives no wish to challenge the petition (common practice I believe). You could always show him the reasons before hand to make sure he'll sign but that is easier said than done. I refused to apply for the decree absolute until he'd agreed to the consent order, this dragged out proceedings for about 18 months but looking back I am so glad I held out.

trailingspouse

Be aware that the 5 year separation means exactly that. If you do as I did, and go back (even for a night) to try to make things work, the clock starts from zero again.

meritaten

irretrievable breakdown of marriage - you dont have to be nasty, just state that he asked you to leave and the reason(s). as he was the one to do this he can hardly contest it.

OnwardsAndUpwards_2

pigpen wrote: »

Onwards.. My divorce just made for hard work, I very occasionally (when having a very bad day and needing a break) wish I'd just left things as they were, at least they were stable whereas now I am still walking on eggshells the whole time and still having the same issues with him.. my life is no easier that is a certainty. I just have to juggle keeping 2 men happy and all the children.. sometimes I just want to run away and hide.

That sounds like an awful situation

It's so much easier when there are no children involved, as you truly can have a clean break and never see each other again. I can't imagine still having to keep my ex happy.

You have my sympathies - but I bet you are doing a fantastic job of making the best of the situation and keeping everyone as happy as possible. Nothing wrong with running away and hiding occasionally too if people are being horribly unreasonable

Katieboo87

Thank you all so much for your advice.

We do have a daughter. I've located the D8 form I need to complete for the divorce but is there another form I need to submit for arrangements for our daughter?

I am going to try to do this without a solicitor. I've looked over the form and it looks fairly straightforward. I just need to decide how and what to list in my statements. I'm fairly confident it won't be contested as long as I word it the right way.

I also want to change my name. Can I just start using my maiden name or do I need to get this changed by deed poll?

I would talk to my ex about this but he has refused to have a single conversation with me by anything other than text message since the day he asked me to leave- even if it's about our daughter.

Fairly confident he is sleeping with our child minder of over 5 years but can't use this because I don't want to ruffle feathers and have to move my daughter who adores her.

Again, any help is much appreciated.

Thanks everyone x

Teeniepops

Late joining this, but thought the experiences I've seen may help.

My OH has been married previously and he divorced his ex stating why he left and nothing more (most already listed above in other posts). His ex went berserk and sent a letter through solicitors staying it was all lies, but signed the papers after stating she didn't agree with the grounds but agreed to the divorce.

He had tried to get her buy-in ahead of this, but she refused to, so he just told his solicitor why and he put the petition together.

Given you have a DD together, PLEASE be cautious if proceeding without legal support, especially as he won't talk to you ATM -this isn't indicative of an amicable arrangement. You need to solidify arrangements with your DD, finances regarding your DD etc and without legal supprt you could act without knowing your rights (on all sides). Yes, this could mean it's not granted (if you don't meet criteria) but you could also leave yourself short and you may live up regret it once it's finalised.

I feel for you. My sister and OH have both divirced and it was never pleasant or straight forward. Take care x

Teeniepops

Late joining this, but thought the experiences I've seen may help.

My OH has been married previously and he divorced his ex stating why he left and nothing more (most already listed above in other posts). His ex went berserk and sent a letter through solicitors staying it was all lies, but signed the papers after stating she didn't agree with the grounds but agreed to the divorce.

He had tried to get her buy-in ahead of this, but she refused to, so he just told his solicitor why and he put the petition together.

Given you have a DD together, PLEASE be cautious if proceeding without legal support, especially as he won't talk to you ATM -this isn't indicative of an amicable arrangement. You need to solidify arrangements with your DD, finances regarding your DD etc and without legal supprt you could act without knowing your rights (on all sides). Yes, this could mean it's not granted (if you don't meet criteria) but you could also leave yourself short and you may live up regret it once it's finalised.

I feel for you. My sister and OH have both divirced and it was never pleasant or straight forward. Take care x