Help please both parents working & childcare dilemma

*DaDa

LondonDiva wrote: »

Does your employer offer childcare vouchers or a nursery?

What about your OH? Do they do the same, would they be flexbible re his start and finish times?

Thanks, I know they do not have a nursery and not sure about childcare vouchers as have not yet officaily started with it being the nhs, they may do Im not too sure.

OH will not be flexi wth work times as long haul deliveries which include overnight stay + its a family run business so I doubt they offer CC vouchers. I will get him to ask though.

Sambucus_Nigra

I think you are very confused.

a - What's the dilemma about? Paying for the childcare or you not trusting someone with your kids?

b - If you have an issue trusting someone and you can't really afford the childcare plus travel on the wages you will be bringing in, then both on terms of trust and finance, you can't afford to go back to work.

c - Why have 4 kids then say you don't want to be at home all day? You say you do nothing all day then list all the things you would do all day, which is evidently not 'nothing'.

*DaDa

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I think you are very confused. I agree

a - What's the dilemma about? Paying for the childcare or you not trusting someone with your kids? Both as when I have been working OH has been at home with the children.

b - If you have an issue trusting someone and you can't really afford the childcare plus travel on the wages you will be bringing in, then both on terms of trust and finance, you can't afford to go back to work. I would still like to work as I said earlier in the current climate its difficult finding work and eventually it will get easier. However if OH sticks to his job I will be going P/T.

c - Why have 4 kids then say you don't want to be at home all day? I love my babies, however 3 of them are at school/nursery. You say you do nothing all day then list all the things you would do all day, which is evidently not 'nothing'. when Im at home, I make extra work for myself the chores I do can more or less fit around my work. Most of the time Im just pigging out on the couch. And LO is asleep.

Thanks DD x x

kazmeister

I know its not everyones cup of tea but when DH and i both worked shifts in the nhs (inc nights) we had an au pair. We set the rules, children were in their own homes doing what we wanted them to do and there was no getting them up at unearthly hours to go to a minder. Use an reputable agency as it removes a lot of the donkey work.

aliama

I was thinking along the lines of a nanny or au pair too. I'm not sure how the costs would stack up against childminder fees for three children, but I suspect it's certainly worth looking into.

whitewing

I have had au pairs in the past. There is no way I would have an au pair for that many that young children if I weren't at home too.

Ofsted registered nanny, who could also have the children if they were ill, perhaps.

Alter_ego

There are strict laws about au pairs. eg Live in, attend college,pocket money, etc.

Nannys are different, they are employees, you need employer's insurance, pay tax and NICs. many agencies will do it for you though.

Don't forget CRB checks which ever way you go.

LannieDuck

Meet the potential childminder and then see how you feel about it. My LO is 16 months and loves the time she spends in nursery. Lots of her little friends there are in nursery/childcare full time and none the worse for it.

As someone else said, it's natural to feel apprehensive at such a big change, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be bad. Try not to pre-empt it. If it doesn't work out, you can always change back.

I understand about wanting to keep your foot in the door of the jobs market atm. Incidentally, my NHS employer does operate a nursery vouchers scheme - yours may well too.

*DaDa

Thankyou for your replies,
I went to see the CM and she seems like a nice person, we are going for a trial session later today and maybe again sometime this week, just to see how she is with the little ones and how they feel.
I would not like to go down the nanny/au pair route because as mentioned I pay above inurance & tax issues etc,.
Oh started work yesterday was working 7am to 9pm . But he seems happy enough.
My plan is to go for it, because if I dont I'll spend the rest of my time wondering "what if". However if it doesnt work I will revert to being a SAHM. hoping eventually things will get better.
If I complete the training full time for 5 weeks and OH sticks to his job I will then be going part time, which will work better.

*DaDa

Hi all,
Been to see CM,DD loved it, my DS was crying when I had to leave to park the car round the corner. Fingers crossed he settles over time he is missing his dad as well so maybe thats why. CM has negotiated a price £250pw for everything for four weeks till my training is complete hopefully then I can go part time, if all goes well. I am starting to feel a little bit better and less stressed now. Just hope and pray the future is better.

Thanks to everyone. x x x xDD