Help please both parents working & childcare dilemma

*DaDa

Hi all,

Im in a bit of a dilemma ..OH has got a job:j..& .Im starting my new job,,,we both start on the same day..I have never put my children into childacare under the age of 2.
DD1 is at school
DD2 is at nursery 4 days a week
DD3 is at nursery 2 days a week
DS1 has been staying home with dad.

OH's working hours are variable could include spending nights out. Im 8-4 for 5 weeks and after that variable shifts:mad:. My commute is an hour each way,

Now I need a childminder for DS and DD2 & 3 and also need someone to cover the school runs and after school for 2 hours. I have found someone who is offering me this service. Havent met her yet but had a informal chat over the phone going to visit her on Friday.

Im losing sleep and getting really stressed out worrying that she will not take care of my children properly. Its not just her Ive got an issue with as I havent even met her yet I'd be the same about anyone whos not family.

I cant put DS in nursery with DD2 and DD3 as they dont take under 2's.

Also I am paying for DD2 and DD3 in nursery at the moment so the childminder would be paid separately..Realistically I could end up paying well over a £1000+ per month for two childcare providers.

OH has to work as hes been job hunting for years and this is like the light at the end of the tunnel.

I want to work as
A) Ive landed myself a job within the NHS and want to keep my foot in the door to progress further.

I cant stand the thought of staying at home and doing nothing.

If OH likes his job and sticks at it with it being variable shifts and nights out, Id drop my hours to part time but that would have to be after the five week training period.

I dont have any family around to help, Im driving myself crazy and crying myself to sleep as I am just not sure what to do.

Thankyou if you have read this far any advice would be very appreciated.

Many Thanks DD x x

whitewing

There are some really good childminders around, and I know of a fair few professional women (managers and teachers) who are childminding for a few years while they have young family, so you may well find that whoever you gel with is absolutely great.

It is normal to feel worried about such a big change. If it doesn't work out, you can always try something different - it isn't an irreversible situation.

BillyB

Hi,

As Whitewing said some childminders are brilliant and if you find it doesnt work out, you could always look elsewhere.
You could ask the childminder if you could take your son for a session with her and you stay to see how he reacts to being with them and the other children and see how she is with him and the other children she looks after.
Also, could you ask the nursery your other children go to if they could recommend someone, as some nurseries and childminders work together and they may well know someone. Or recommendation from friends?
Could also take a look at the childminders Ofsted report, will give some idea of the quality of the care she provides.

mumx3

I cant stand the thought of staying at home and doing nothing

With 4 young children would you really be doing nothing!!!????

I think that would be the most important job for you at the moment?
Could you not put your job in the NHS on hold for a while?
Maybe wait to see how DH job and hours go before you start yours?
Paying over £1000 per month for childcare, will going back to work be worth it?

It does seem that what you are trying to juggle is a little too much all at once, there are some very good childminders out there though, do you have enough time to go and visit and choose the best one to suit what you need?

*DaDa

mumx3 wrote: »

With 4 young children would you really be doing nothing!!!????
Whilst the children are at school and nursery yes..as whilst Im at home my chores are never ending..for e.g typical day elders go to school/nursery feed, clothe DS he goes to sleep wakes up at 11am has a snack, plays about has dinner goes to sleep and by the time he wakes up the other are back from school/nursery and then its tea, bath, bed. In between I am either cooking, cleaning or sitting on the couch eating chocolate:p
I think that would be the most important job for you at the moment?
Could you not put your job in the NHS on hold for a while? Not in the current employment climate also I found myself luckky to get this as I have large gaps in employmet history due to being a SAHM and pregnant.
Maybe wait to see how DH job and hours go before you start yours? I cant postpone my start date as training is done in groups and this is currently the last intake
Paying over £1000 per month for childcare, will going back to work be worth it? Not sure????

It does seem that what you are trying to juggle is a little too much all at once, there are some very good childminders out there though, do you have enough time to go and visit and choose the best one to suit what you need?

I only have 3 days to sort out the childcare which is why I am panicking..we only found out today OH starts on 11/02.:eek:

Many thanks for your reply. I will be visiting the CM on Friday will see how it goes. x x

BillyB

Good Luck with the visit, hope she puts your mind at ease x

*DaDa

BillyB wrote: »

Good Luck with the visit, hope she puts your mind at ease x

Thanks, I got a call today from NHS they have postponed my start date to the following week as trainer is not available:eek:.
Which is Good I suppose as I can check out CM properly, a little bit dissapointed as I was looking really forward to starting and Iv finished at my previous employers:o.

Another stressfull week but as they say I guess (well hope) "Things can only get better":p

EconomicsGirl

I'ld give it a go and see how things go, see if the childminder works out and see if your OH likes his job.

Once you've given it a while it'll probably become clearer what'll work and what won't.

You will need at least one of the jobs to be flexible incase the children are sick, doctors, dentists, school meetings etc. Though if you go part-time that would help with that.

I'ld also work out the finances and see if its worth you or OH working. I think working part-time is nice and keeps you in the job market but it'ld also depend on the finances.

lindseykim13

Do feel for you, but your kids are only young for a short time. If it's not financially worth it i would opt to stay at home until they are a little older.
Kids gain much more from their parent being around imo

Remember though nothing is forever so if whatever you choose doesn't work out you can always change it.

*DaDa

EconomicsGirl wrote: »

I'ld give it a go and see how things go, see if the childminder works out and see if your OH likes his job.

Once you've given it a while it'll probably become clearer what'll work and what won't.

You will need at least one of the jobs to be flexible incase the children are sick, doctors, dentists, school meetings etc. Though if you go part-time that would help with that.

I'ld also work out the finances and see if its worth you or OH working. I think working part-time is nice and keeps you in the job market but it'ld also depend on the finances.

Many thanks for your reply, this is what my intentions are to go in to work but keeping my options open, I dont want to give up my job just in case it doesn't work out for the OH, however If he does enjoy and can adjust to it. I will definitely be going part time as this option is available once the initial training period is over.

lindseykim13 wrote: »

Do feel for you, but your kids are only young for a short time. If it's not financially worth it i would opt to stay at home until they are a little older.
Kids gain much more from their parent being around imo

Remember though nothing is forever so if whatever you choose doesn't work out you can always change it.

Thanks so much, I do feel really bad and really guilty for leaving my children and working especially for DS as I was always around for the girls till they were 3+. However as soon as my training is over and if OH sticks to his job I am definitely going p/t, 1 or 2 days a week. That way I think I might be able to balance work/home life better. Fingers xd.:o

LondonDiva

Does your employer offer childcare vouchers or a nursery?

What about your OH? Do they do the same, would they be flexbible re his start and finish times?