oh my life...... Light Bulb moment.

MiMi66

Sadly not Amorge - I think I went off at about that time and woke at 7.30..... Fortunatley I have fewer of those nights these days - sleep is so important isn't it.
My daughter is aiming for German combined with International Studies - maybe Warwick? It is lovely to be so proud of them isn't it - and I think languages are a good choice. Great news about the flight price, always worth considering.
Need resusitating cup of tea now.....

Jan42

MiMi, you are doing so well, I can only imagine doing that well at the minute. Your story sounds identical to me, I'm a single parent with 2 children, work full time in a well paid job and should have plenty of money left over...but no :eek:

Owe around £20,000.00!! :eek:

I don't live in a luxury mansion, have a fabulous car or holiday in exotic locations...have a terrace thats seen better days, drive an R reg Punto (which may go to Punto heaven next Friday..depending on MOT) and don't holiday!!!

I've subscribed and hopefully I can take inspiration :beer:

Take care
Jan
x

Skinnylatte

Add me to that singlemum/goodjob/nothingtoshowfforit club!! I'm enjoying this diary it keeps me going )

MiMi66

Wow Jan and Skinnylatte - you have no idea how nice it is -or maybe you do - to hear from other single parents in similar positions - I have for such a long time felt useless and a prat because of my financial situation - and while I do take responsibility for it all (I am here after all) I do see very clearly now how hard it is to live within means, when temptation is absolutely everywhere and the cost of the essentials is rising rising rising....

However - Great news .....drum roll......I have made a payment (or 6) today and I am officially under £20000 in debt - in exactitude it comes to £19997!! Very important those three pounds I can tell you..... What a battle debt is - having paid back this small chunk - not even 10% of my debt, has taken so much will power and adoption of a different way of life.

So I can honestly say I am a member of the £20, 000 club (not the same kudos as the Mile High club is it....)

Clothes are the hardest hit - but you know, I try to pick wisely when we do buy. I don't cheap as it just does not last, but I'd rather have three or four things a year that will go on than have a bag full of things that fall apart after the first few washes.

I think I may have already written that I took my children away overnight a couple of weeks ago? We went to Wales - Hay-on-Wye thinking a cultural break cruising second hand book shops - wasn't very interesting I have to say, but we had a good giggle. We had Italian at ASK in Hereford with the gracious generosity of Tesco’s Vouchers (love them, but the amount of them I have really is a reflection of my debt.....) and it was a really wonderful meal. And the local market was on the next day which was sweet - lovely sour dough bread came home and also brioche and an Echinacea plant which has bedded in happily in the garden.

On the way back I hugged myself tightly as we went into Cribbs Causeway on the promised quest for clothes for my son - I had planned for it but gosh expensive.... bought a few things there and once home again set about tracking other bits in the right size. So he now has 2 new pairs of jeans and four shirts, a waistcoat and a jacket from River Island.... ouch ouch ouch - but he looks so cool in only that way that 14 year old hipsters can - So nice to see.

I have ordered my prize of copper pots - and they have arrived - love them love them love them.... waiting for potato dauphinoise to cook as I type, and I am certain it will be perfect as it is baked in a copper au gratin dish!

So facing the new month - grimly not much cash left after paying using credit card and the debt repayments - but I do have my small savings which has build back up to £500 now so we will be ok - the extra shift money is going straight to the bike project and after that I shall save for new glasses (rather have the bike than see clearly - where are my priorities!). I have some money aside for my son's birthday in October then it is my daughters turn for November - skimp and save money aside time it seems - then it is Christmas...the huge black hole of Christmas......

Last year the children and I said how about doing a one present each Christmas - this is in complete opposition to the gross gluttony that is our family attitude to Christmas....However, I think we might just try something closer to that than what we usually do (which racks up a lot of debt) - So I am going to try and spend a bit more ontheir birthdays but pull back a lot at Christmas - and also keep the food simple and try not to waste things - must think about getting a cake done soon actually... can't believe I am readying myself for Christmas but hopefully it means I can plan it and the social costs much better.

I hope everyone else's journeys are faring well enough too.

HOK3Y

Hello MiMi66,

I am on a similar journey to you and am attacking our bills from several angles. I have been amazed how much extra money I have managed to rake in through EBay and car boot sales. It all allowed me to pay off a £3,000 loan in 3 months. And now I have more space in the house! I still have a credit card and a car loan to go but I want it gone - all gone - by this time next year.

I'll keep checking in with you and wishing you well on your journey. There are definitely better ways to live than saddled with large debts and we will get there!

julie2710

Great news Mimi, well done on getting below the £20k :T. It's such a boost when you achieve a milestone and it really does help you to keep on track and realise that you are making in roads, even if they aren't as quick as you'd like. Have you set your next milestone yet? My next one is to get my mortgage under the £170k mark, should be by the end of the year and my total debt excluding my mortgage and the CTC overpayment (I tend to discount that as it wasn't my fault and its interest free) below £35k! Still a mile off your £20k but I'll get there!

The new pots and pans sound amazing! What a fantastic prize!

I'm with you on the not buying cheap clothes. I have a couple of work dresses I bought from LK Bennett, one is 6 years old and the other 7. They cost me £130 each at the time :eek: However, they are very classic design. I wear them in the summer on their own and in the winter with a jacket, so cost per wear makes them an absolute bargain! Even with the boys I try and buy a few decent bits for DS1 and mix them with really cheap or midrange jeans. That way they last and I get to hand them down to DS2 still looking great. If I'm really lucky I then eBay them and get a bit of money back!

HOK3Y that's a pretty impressive amount to have made. I think I need to try the car boot route as I have too much to eBay it all!:o

Keep up the good work Mimi! We single mums can manage pretty well if we put our minds to it

judi24

:hello:Just wanted to drop by and say hello from another single Mum - Its a tough journey but we are tougher!!! well done in getting below the 20k mark! I am panicking about Christmas already - I have 4 kids and its so expensive! Need to reign it in a lot this year - I buy stuff the kids don't even want!

Anyway - good luck on your journey

lesley_rod

Congratulations MiMi breaking that £20k barrier WOW
Strange isn't it logic tells us it's just another £3 down but the motivation....

Not sure if you remember but I am also a single parent and been on this journey to being debt free for what seems like forever (7 years).....one thing that worked for us (realise not for everyone) but the kids had a birthday and Christmas budget. They could get gifts to the value of (chosen by them or me their choice) or save and combine to get a larger value item. I would then spend £10 each on small things to be opened Christmas day.
For me this was invaluable, as over indulging the kids was one of my mis-guided ways (trying to compensate for useless father), it allowed me to budget through the year and have the money when needed.

Yeah the kids complained at times but to be fair to them they also appreciated what they got more. Their stories of how ungrateful their friends, who got much more, were used to make me laugh.

julie2710

Just wondering how old your children were Lesley_rod? I try and get my boys to understand the value of money and make decisions on what they do based on value for money. Ie they can chose to have a bag of Maltesers at the Movies for Juniors on a Saturday morning or they can keep the £3 and we can all have another cinema trip. They pick another trio every time

My two are just coming up to 5 & 8. Is that too young? I must admit I have been guilty of overindulging them in the past. Can't afford to do that now though

lesley_rod

Hi Julie,
Mine are older now, 21 & 16 however my youngest was 9 when this journey started. I'd say they are never too young really.
My take on it was, and I've no regrets, I want my kids to be independent so they need to know the value of things to avoid making the same mistakes I made. So choosing option 1 or option 2 at 6 & 8 (as long as you stick to it) is solid parenting, well done!