Hospital want to discharge 90 year old

JKJ

For brevity and clarity I will use bullet points.

1. father in law in hospital with terminal prostate cancer that is also in his bones, he is unable to even sit up without help, is awkward, bad tempered and verbally abusive - partly due to pain, partly because he is not a nice person. He has almost constant blood loss and is doubly incontinent. Consultant says nothing further can be done beyond pain relief

2. Mother in law is 84 and has poor eyesight due to macular degeneration and is worried sick that the nursing staff are talking about discharging him home. She cannot look after him.

3. Their daughter lives 3 hours away, and their son (my DH) dare not take any more time from work or he will lose his job. I have 2 ill parents of my own, I also have cancer and as my parents in law have always disliked me (a huge understatement :eek:) there isn't anything I feel I can do.

So can the hospital discharge him under these circumstances does anyone know? Any advise would be most appreciated.

Person_one

JKJ wrote: »

For brevity and clarity I will use bullet points.

1. father in law in hospital with terminal prostate cancer that is also in his bones, he is unable to even sit up without help, is awkward, bad tempered and verbally abusive - partly due to pain, partly because he is not a nice person. He has almost constant blood loss and is doubly incontinent. Consultant says nothing further can be done beyond pain relief

2. Mother in law is 84 and has poor eyesight due to macular degeneration and is worried sick that the nursing staff are talking about discharging him home. She cannot look after him.

3. Their daughter lives 3 hours away, and their son (my DH) dare not take any more time from work or he will lose his job. I have 2 ill parents of my own, I also have cancer and as my parents in law have always disliked me (a huge understatement :eek:) there isn't anything I feel I can do.

So can the hospital discharge him under these circumstances does anyone know? Any advise would be most appreciated.

If his wife says she can't look after him at home then there will need to be an assessment process and he may go to a care or nursing home instead.

He can't stay in hospital indefinitely if he isn't receiving medical treatment.

Does he have a social worker?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Nope. They can be told that there is nobody able or willing to take care of him.

They will have to find a suitable alternative, such as a hospice, which in reality, sounds to be the best place for him. Not just because he's unpleasant, but because they are the experts in alleviating pain.

sweaty_betty

I think in these circumstances an assessment would need to be done on him (to see if he could manage) and also his home and the ability of others at home to look after him. This would probably be linked to social services, who might suggest that either he goes into a care home if home isn't an option, or that carers go in several times a day to help.

It might be worth having a word with the medical staff to ask if sending him home is what they're considering and request that they initiate an assessment because you have concerns.

thatgirlsam

Unfortunatley the hospital can't provide a bed for everyone who has no-one to care for them at home (if he is not being treated in hospital)

This must be traumatic for him :-(

Possible alternatives are nursing home or hospice if he is receiving pallitive care? Macmillan care in the community even?

Person_one

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Nope. They can be told that there is nobody able or willing to take care of him.

They will have to find a suitable alternative, such as a hospice, which in reality, sounds to be the best place for him. Not just because he's unpleasant, but because they are the experts in alleviating pain.

He's unlikely to get a hospice place, they're intended to be for people who aren't expected to survive a fortnight.

JKJ

Person_one wrote: »

If his wife says she can't look after him at home then there will need to be an assessment process and he may go to a care or nursing home instead.

He can't stay in hospital indefinitely if he isn't receiving medical treatment.

Does he have a social worker?

No social worker, how do yiu get one involved? Mind you, they would probably see having a social worker as a degrading thing (hasten to add I dont see it that way )

Person_one

JKJ wrote: »

No social worker, how do yiu get one involved? Mind you, they would probably see having a social worker as a degrading thing (hasten to add I dont see it that way )

Social care are sometimes the people who carry out these assessments, it can vary depending on local authority though.

The hospital should have a Macmillan team, the wife could ask to speak to them, they're usually very good as they deal with this sort of thing every day.

JKJ

Wow thank you so much for all the fast replies, really helpfull....some very nice people on these forums

Sommer43

If your husband is the nearest relative, then he should speak to the ward matron. Social services should also be involved and he should have been assessed while in hospital as part of his discharge plan, of where there will have been an MDT meeting. OT should have assessed his capabilities personally, while assessing his home and whether he can manage at home. For the first six weeks, there should be a nominal fee for care to go in. This is called the intermediate team who will then if necessary, pass the case back to social services. So, the first thing to do as his family, is to ask if there has been an MDT meeting to discuss discharge. Sending home a 90 year old, who is having no further medical intervention without any form of support is quite hard to believe. There will be someone your husband and his sister can talk to.

DevilsAdvocate1

Person_one wrote: »

He's unlikely to get a hospice place, they're intended to be for people who aren't expected to survive a fortnight.

Don't think this is correct. A neighbour of mine is currently in a hospice. She has just undergone a course of radiotherapy. As her husband died a couple of years ago and she lives on her own, she was given a couple of weeks in a hospice basically to make sure she was eating. She is so tired after the radiotherapy that she was just sleeping all the time and did not have the energy to make herself something to eat or drink. A group of neighbours and relatives had been going in, but it was decided that time in a hospice would be the best way forward.

She is really improving and we are expecting her to be discharged soon.