Trying for a Baby Part 9

wendz86

Codemonkey - yes it is worth it but I know its tough.

sweaty_betty

codemonkey wrote: »

To those of you who are trying for babies that are not your first, is it worth all this pain?

I can only answer for my situation, having a LO who's nearly 3, an early miscarriage last year, then losing my twins at 22w a couple of months ago, also I've not had the struggle to conceive that some of you have.

I do think it's worth the pain, although it's very hard. I've discussed trying again with my OH, especially after the pain of losing the twins, because he really wasn't sure, but we both agreed that the joy of having a child outweighed the anxiety and emotional pain we would have to go through to get there.

I wish I had a crystal ball to tell me that it would all work out ok though...

purcy81

Hooray Twigpig! congrats wishing you a happy healthy 9 months

hugs code sorry your having such a tough time x

Thanks sweaty betty for your exceedingly wise words

hugs to all x

lollypopswater

Sorry things feel tough tight now code - am guessing the recent test results are really not helping ? X

Am doing too much googling on lueteal phase defects, was only 10dpo when af started this mth and can't help wondering if this could have caused cp. need to stop worrying ...

codemonkey

sweaty_betty wrote: »

I can only answer for my situation, having a LO who's nearly 3, an early miscarriage last year, then losing my twins at 22w a couple of months ago, also I've not had the struggle to conceive that some of you have.

I do think it's worth the pain, although it's very hard. I've discussed trying again with my OH, especially after the pain of losing the twins, because he really wasn't sure, but we both agreed that the joy of having a child outweighed the anxiety and emotional pain we would have to go through to get there.

I wish I had a crystal ball to tell me that it would all work out ok though...

Me too. If I could just know how it would work out, I think I'd be ok. If a future me could tell me that kids aren't possible then, given a bit of time to grieve, I think I'd be ok. If future me told me I'd have a baby but not for another 2 years, I'd be ok waiting. It's the not knowing. And even if I do get pregnant, I'm too aware of the possibility of it going wrong not to worry. You're so brave to have been through that and still be trying.

The test results have been a mixed thing. I knew something wasn't right and the doctors just ignored me and DH thought I was being overly dramatic, and it turns out I was right and if I hadn't followed my instincts who knows how long I'd have gone on blindly peeing on sticks for no reason. On the other hand, not ovulating is a pretty big stumbling block and I feel broken and...unfeminine. I mean, ovulation is a pretty big part of being a woman and I can't even do that.

samtoby

Code

I have a nine year old son that I had unplanned at just 19. My whole family were expecting me to go to university and instead I was having a baby.

My loving grandfather died months before Toby was born and I know he was the most disappointed.

Tobys' birth was very quick and early, I was not ready at all, not that anyone is ever ready. I had to learn everything as I had never even really held a baby before. I found it hard and I really struggled on my own. But he has taught me how to appreciate, how to love and feel it reciprocated, stopped my selfishness and number one of all makes me smile everyday.

Because of all the above, I can not wait to share the journey with someone I love. I have waited to try and have another baby until we had our home and am more settled in my job. I have done all these things and I thought in January 2013 that this was our year for a baby.

Having a baby brings you hard work and anger out of frustration and lack of sleep but also will bring the most precious memories and emotions you never knew you had. How ever long the journey, I believe you will always remember the route it took. After loosing my baby two weeks ago I can not tell you how much more I appreciate the journey of pregnancy and how it can end abruptly in the cruellest way but also the difficulties that some of us have, whether it be difficulties conceiving, miscarriage, stillbirth or even loosing a child. If after one or more of those horrid events that I would not wish on my worst enemy happen then the memories that you hold that were good before it all went so wrong are the ones that keep you going on.

I may not have a degree still but I have a good job in a career I have built from the bottom and my own home but Toby will always remain my proudest achievement.

teaandcakeordeath

Code. It takes a while to feel this way but you are not 'unfeminine' or 'broken'. Though I only know you through this forum you're one of the only women on here who nails exactly what I'm feeling/ thinking and your good advice and presence on here is appreciated by us.

My counsellor has helped me a lot over the past 4 months and made me realise how self-defeating I was basing my assessment of my self worth on an organ. I know that if my pancreas or lung was knackered and needed a bit of medicine/ treatment to help me I wouldn't be bothered. So my uterus looks like an evil witch's finger (http://a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/66/f2dfda47751ad5b5a8fc66808cce4d6d/l.jpg - no word of a lie- it looks like that). I'm still a woman and worthwhile and so are you. So there.

teaandcakeordeath

Twigpig congrats! Nice BFP !!!!!! there!

catloverbex

codemonkey wrote: »

Me too. If I could just know how it would work out, I think I'd be ok. If a future me could tell me that kids aren't possible then, given a bit of time to grieve, I think I'd be ok. If future me told me I'd have a baby but not for another 2 years, I'd be ok waiting. It's the not knowing. And even if I do get pregnant, I'm too aware of the possibility of it going wrong not to worry. You're so brave to have been through that and still be trying

^^^^ I could have written this Code. It's exactly how I feel. When TTC your first and it's not happening its the "not knowing" that's the worst thing. I actually had this convo with the hubby lately. I said I'm happy to wait for a baby....I just want to know that I am waiting for a baby that will appear! Big hugs for feeling carp xx

Twigpig - yay! :j massive congrats and love the BFP !!!!!! xx

Not much to report from me. I got a second interview for the job I applied for but I turned it down. I just need to give TTC a little longer I think before I move jobs. Not sure if I've made the right decision but as I wasn't sure about the new job anyway I think I have.

Patiently awaiting OV from a TTC front. Been doing 30 day shred and even on day 8 I can already see and feel a difference in how toned my legs are :T yay! Also hoping it gets me my BFP like Twigpig!

Hope everyone else is well. I'll catch up properly later xxx

angeltreats

Congrats Twig! Good news.

Code - I've been watching Biggest Loser season 14 and there have been weeks when the contestants worked their asses off and ate everything right and still only lost a pound, when their teammates were losing nine or ten. Sometimes the work you do doesn't have an effect on the scales in that particular week which is incredibly frustrating but the next week you have a bigger loss so it all evens out. Sorry, I sound like a patronising WW leader. Feel free to slap me.

I feel exactly the same that if only I knew it would all turn out ok in the end and we would have our family, I'd be ok with the wait and all the horribleness in between and potentially having to go through IVF. If you do find that crystal ball, can I borrow it please?

I was at the gym last night and a lady was in the changing room with her little tiny baby, aged 9 weeks, who had just been for a swim and apparently had the best time ever, he was a proper little waterbaby. I had to stop and chat to her and coo over the baby as he was absolutely gorgeous but it really did break my heart a bit, I want to take my baby swimming. Having not learned to swim myself until my twenties, I've always said if I have a child it'll be taught to swim before it can even walk.

Also can people please send me AF vibes please. The witch should be here today or tomorrow and I want her to hurry up so I can get cracking with a soy cycle.