Being called "Lady"

SnowyOwl_2

I find the term "lady" a bit gushing and over-polite. It's not rude to refer to a woman as a woman. However sometimes a woman is not in any way a lady, and indeed it is impossible to know if a woman is a lady or a complete trollop, thieving b*tch, etc etc, so better - IMO - to stick to woman as it is accurate.

However when addressing a group of women, it's not correct to say "Hello Women". For some reason which I do not know of "Hello ladies" is correct. Even if the group of women are all tarts, lol.

I cringe being referred to as a "lady". I am a woman but not a member of royalty or the upper classes.

dippydooda

I was called 'the lady' from being just turned 18 and working in a bank! Like parents to their kids would always say stuff like 'pass it through to the lady' or 'behave or the lady will shout' ! In the beginning I was like 'who?what lady?' lol but got used to it. I never found it offensive or like they were insinuating i was old! It was perfectly obvious that i was young as looked really young for my age (still do!:/) I think it's just people trying to be polite!'The girl' doesn't sound as nice.

coolcait

SnowyOwl wrote: »

I find the term "lady" a bit gushing and over-polite. It's not rude to refer to a woman as a woman. However sometimes a woman is not in any way a lady, and indeed it is impossible to know if a woman is a lady or a complete trollop, thieving b*tch, etc etc, so better - IMO - to stick to woman as it is accurate.

However when addressing a group of women, it's not correct to say "Hello Women". For some reason which I do not know of "Hello ladies" is correct. Even if the group of women are all tarts, lol.

I cringe being referred to as a "lady". I am a woman but not a member of royalty or the upper classes.

There may be a cultural issue here.

I'm a woman by gender.

I don't see myself as a 'wumman', much less a "wee wumman". For some reason those descriptions carry a meaning beyond mere words.

So, I was quite happy to be called ''that lady". Even if I ain't no lady.

Now (thank you ), I realise that the term 'lady' carries its own caveats.

There may be an underlying message of "you're really a [complete trollop, thieving b*tch, etc etc]"

Maybe it's safest for third parties to address an unknown female as "Oi! You".

:eek:

Mrs.W_2

My first major, 'Oh, gosh, I'm aging!' moment came when a shop assitant referred to me as 'Madam'. I was 35 at the time.

Mrs.W_2

Oh, by the way, my trans-gender Mother is laughing at me and certain bits of this thread. She's more than happy to be called a lady, a bint, a woman, as long as she's identified as female.

Feel free to blow raspberries at her!

C_Mababejive

http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/lady

OP I know what you mean and its something which i have also thought about and continually review as i work in a customer facing environment.

I do find that i have to fine tune my interactions with punters dependant upon my perceptions at the time of things like their social status/economic status/level of education/their surrounds/friends-families-relatives who may be present.

When referring to a female one is caught between girl/woman/lady.

Other terms such as totty/splitarse/skirt are derogatory and inappropriate in a customer service environment.

Now then...in general i would not use the term girl to denote a female who is 18 or over and in general,18 or over would require the use of the term Lady.

That is not to say that she is "twinset and pearls" but that i would say lady to indicate a certain level of formality and respect which is required in customer service.

If i referred to a female adult as a girl it would be disrespectful and i might well get told off especially if she holds strong feminist views.

That is not to say that a "lady" cannot also be respectfully admired for her femininity.

Of course the use of the term "lady" can also be inappropriate in some circumstances but may still be applied with a sense of irony. For example, if i am in someones home and they are female,clearly filthy,uncouth and lacking in the social graces expected of a lady then one might use the term almost as a term of abuse!

claire16c

I find its often used when people are telling their kids instructions I.e 'move out of the lady's way Sarah'. It sounds a lot nicer than saying woman!

Ivd been called called Miss & Ma'am in the US, they are very polite there. It always seems weird to me hearing a child say Ma'am or sir to their parents but I think it would be good for certain children here to do it!

lostinrates

VestanPance wrote: »

The American thing is incorrect. Particularly when in the Southern or Western States when ma'am is used in the same way as sir is for guys. It carries no reference of age or title, but of gender and respect.

Americans use the god awful mom, for their mothers anyway.

Better not visit France it's seen as bad for you to refer to a young woman as mademoiselle these days and that you ladies should always be referred to as madam.

I wouldn't say lady is an age related term. Other than it signifies you're no longer a girl. In the same way guys stop being that boy/lad and become that man.

In fact or some in those parts of America ypu call your mother 'ma'am' too, and your father 'sir'. I certainly got used to that as a child.

Fwiw in uk my stand point is that I and the rest of my sex are all women, but ladies we might not be. I refer to people as women, I was taught not to use lady except in certain circumstances. I think this is one of thoses things in uk that where you are from and your background will give different results for what is the perceived norm.

I use 'sir' very easily, both respectfully and not. In difficult situations I am more likely to be archly formal ...it keeps me alm and gives me time to think about what I want to say and how I want to say it. Referi g to people using the 'respectful' terms might not mean respect but does remind me to behave well.

C_Mababejive

claire16c wrote: »

I find its often used when people are telling their kids instructions I.e 'move out of the lady's way Sarah'. It sounds a lot nicer than saying woman!

Ivd been called called Miss & Ma'am in the US, they are very polite there. It always seems weird to me hearing a child say Ma'am or sir to their parents but I think it would be good for certain children here to do it!

Yes..thats something i like about the USA. They still have old fashioned manners.

lostinrates

miss_independent wrote: »

Granted, I've never spent much time in the Deep South or (Mid) West but I've lived a large percentage of my life in the US and most American women I know are offended by the term Ma'am! Its a hot topic if you google it. I know it's different in the South and West as I've often heard tiny children on vacation refer to everyone as "Yes Ma'am" and "Yes Sir" as a mark of respect and authority.

IMO its part of the great cultural divide in us, not just geographic and generational ( and generational is huge) but also ....something wenever associate with th US but class. I spent a fair bit of time growing up with ' certain class' of American who would expect to receive the 'ma'am'. I always snigger at the idea of us as a class less society, my experience is the divide is far greater in us than uk. Whether that's still true now I don't know though, only in the circles we are still in touch with. My husbands family have connections with a different part of society in a geographically different part of us, their experience reads differently, but I would expect so does their interpretation of the experience.