Toddler won't eat his dinner -help!

an9i77

My little boy (nearly 2) has started playing up at mealtimes, particularly the evening meal. He refuses his dinner, he won't even try a mouthful. I've stopped giving him new stuff but even stuff he'd happily eat before, like mashed sweet potato, he just completely refuses.

Yesterday he must have been hungry because he kept saying 'more' and crying but whenever we tried to give him any dinner he refused it.

He will then ask for bic bic (biscuits) or pud pud but we are quite strict on not allowing him any more food if he refuses dinner.

He then goes to bed hungry, but shoudl I be giving him some milk before bed if he' not had any dinner?

My strategy so far has been to not give him too much attention or make too much of a fuss, and just say 'ok then no dinner' to him if he refuses. He gets upset when I say that but stlil won't eat anything.

I was presuming that eventually he'd get hungry enough to eat but he doesn't seem to realise that the food will stop him being hungry.

It's like having an anorexic toddler!

What to do??????

Shushannah

Don't worry he won't starve himself.
Keep not making a fuss and not giving in to demands of treats.

Try getting him involved with the preparation of the food. Sometimes that will help.

I found offering choices eg peas or carrots avoided confrontation.

Goodluck

pigpen

Give him his dinner and 20 minutes later remove it..

DO NOT... beg, plead, bribe, grovel, offer alternatives etc.. if you do he has 'won'.. he has attention and you end up cross and frustrated and upset.. nobody wins.

What time of day does he eat?

My 2.5 year old rarely eats more than a couple of spoonfuls at dinner but she will happily trough her way through 4 or 5 weetabix at breakfast.. change his 'main meal'of the day to that time and just give him cereal or sandwiches or snacky stuff for his evening meal..

He will outgrow it eventually, most do (says the person who regularly has rice krispies for her evening meal )

Small children don't starve themselves though sometimes it is hard to believe they can actually be as active as they are living on carpet fluff and bogies!

go_cat

Have you tried making the food into a face to make it fun for him

Other than that Reward chart with stickers for each time finishes his dinner

cte1111

I wouldn't be sending him to bed hungry. Perhaps give him something boring yet filling like Weetabix later on if he's not eaten his tea.

kettlefish

Perhaps he is trying to assert his independence? Kids have little control over things at 2 and food is one of the areas they can control, even though it's a massive worry for parents!

Maybe you could offer him 2 choices - "carrots or peas" - not saying wear yourself out cooking various things but could do the same main and offer choice of veg etc.

Does he feed himself with the spoon? If he isn't yet ready to use a spoon, perhaps do a few baby-led weaning style dinners - it's amazing what they can eat with their hands: my little girl will eat pasta, casserole etc with her hands, feeding herself, on even her grumpiest days!

Metranil_Vavin

This is such a common problem. Most children go through a stage at about 18 months - 2ish years of 'asserting' themselves. Refusing food is a control thing, although sometimes it might just be that they aren't that hungry.

My 2 year old goes through phases of this, and whilst hugely frustrating, you have to try and stay cool and not react too much.

I agree with other posters, children wont starve themselves, and the way I do it is to leave the food there for a while, and if no joy, just take him out of his high chair and that's dinner over with.

Biscuits are a treat and I won't let him have them more often than that.

As long as DS had had a good breakfast (which is usually porridge, banana and toast), I don't worry too much if he plays up at lunch.

Maybe offer your DS a drink of milk or a yogurt if you think he is hungry, but don't offer loads of different things or he'll just see it as a game.

onlyroz

Well I'd give him his meal and then take it away for a while if he doesn't eat it. Then maybe an hour later give him the same meal back again. I wouldn't be preparing him anything fresh later on, and certainly wouldn't give him anything sweet if he won't eat his main meal. He really won't starve.

valk_scot

How much does he eat over the course of the day? Because that's the important bit, not how it's split up. Also, does he get a big snack or milk or lots of drinks in the late afternoon? These would fill him up and make him not hungry for dinner.

Does he eat by himself or are you still spooning it into him? I'd go over to a plate of finger foods and leave him to it. He certainly doesn't need foods mashed up any more and some children go right off the gloopy textures at this point. Also, they go off mixed up food, they'll eat the pasta shapes on their own and they'll eat the meatball if it's presented in bite sized quarters, but the sauce is better kept in a little bowl as a dip. Tedious, I know, but it's better than them refusing it or making seperate meals or cutting things up into aeroplane shapes!

I agree though, no sweet puddings or biscuits as top up food. I wouldn't refuse him fruit or plain yoghurt for pudding though even if he's not eaten the main course. Some chopped up fruit with a dollop of greek yoghurt is good quality food after all.

And all my kids got a cup of milk at bedtime...they still do and they're teenagers. I approve of milk as a drink, it's good stuff. A two year old should still be drinking a pint a day of the full fat type, if I remember my books correctly. More than that though means they're too full to eat the other foods they need.

marisco_2

Has your sons daytime routine changed at all? Is he doing more, like attending playgroups? Or has he recently started not having a daytime nap? At two they appear to have bundles of energy. However he will be taking in and learning so much and this will make him tired. Maybe that is the problem. I only suggest this because you mention he plays up most during the evening meal. I know if I am tired then the last thing I want to do is eat, even my favourite things.

Another simple explantion could be that he wants to get back to the activities he has been enjoying. Sitting at a table or in a highchair to eat a meal takes time. Oodles of time in the mind of a toddler. Much quicker and easier as far as he is concerned to have a biccie on the run and continue what he is doing. I use to say to mine that once they had finished their meal they could have some extra play time before their afternoon nap or if after an evening meal they could have longer in the bath playing. A bit of a bribe yes, but it worked.

I went through a similar phase to this with both my boys. He is at an age where they start testing boundaries. Becoming faddy around food is a common problem. It is best to keep doing just as you are. Make sure everyone is giving him the same consistent messages. If he doesn't eat the meal he is offered then there is no alternative and no pudding or treats. Children will not let themselves starve. The stronger stance you take on this the quicker they get the message and stop playing you up.

How involved is he with the choice of what he has for breakfast, lunch and dinner? If he has some input into making the decision then he might be more prepared to eat it. You say you have stopped introducing new things but maybe he is bored of the meals he is use to. That is meant in no offence to you just that is how kids can be. I learnt that the hard way when my son was 4 and said 'oh no not cottage pie again, boring', the charming little darling!

How much milk is he given too? He may be filling up too much on that and not having the appetite to eat a good sized meal portion. At 2 I am assuimg he is on cows milk now. He can get alot of dairy goodness from yoghurts, cheese, custard etc.

guruchelles

valk_scot wrote: »

<snip>

And all my kids got a cup of milk at bedtime...they still do and they're teenagers. I approve of milk as a drink, it's good stuff. A two year old should still be drinking a pint a day of the full fat type, if I remember my books correctly. More than that though means they're too full to eat the other foods they need.

Toddlers - in fact humans - don't need cows' milk at all. We need calcium, but that can be found in other foods like green vegetables (although not spinach) and nuts. I'm not saying that milk is bad - I drink it and give it to my children (not my 18 month old as he is breastfed) but we don't need it. Over the years the Milk Marketing Board has done an excellent job of persuading us otherwise.

With regards to the OP, I agree with previous posters: don't make it into a fight. He's always going to be the one who is ultimately in control of what he puts in his mouth and swallows. I'd continue to offer him nutritional foods throughout the day and don't stress too much. It would be good if you could sit and eat your evening meal with him (if you don't already) as babies and toddlers love communal eating.

Good luck.