Maintenance Payments

beccabee_2

I am after some advice on maintenance payments from non resident father.

I split from my sons father when he was 2, hes now 13. We continued to live together (in a student house) till he was 3 when his father move back to his parents in another city. We agreed that he would pay £108 /month, we'd both just finished university. Until my son was 4, his father visited sporadically, on his 4th birthday arrangements were made for his father to take him out but he never turned up. I called him but got no response and have not heard from him or his family since. The payments still arrive monthly in my account, the amount has never changed.

As his father is a university graduate, I feel safe in assuming he is now earning more than when we left university and on speaking to other people the amount he is paying does not seem to be very much in comparison. I am not aiming to offending anyone here, I appreciate I get something where others receive nothing.

I do not relish the thought of contacting his father directly, I have only his parents previous address and no idea if they still live there, and being honest I live in a happy bubble where his Dad doesn't exist and most days I dont give him a second thought. My only other option is to use the CSA but I have heard horror stories about them. I am not trying to take my ex for everything he has, but do think he should be paying a fair proportion of the upkeep of our son, teenagers are expensive!

I would appreciate any advice/guidance peopl may be able to give.

CH27

Do you need more money?

If not I wouldn't rock the boat.

pigpen

If you are going to use CSA do it quickly they are changing to another useless branch soon that means you will have to pay for their service.

I'd leave it tbh.. unless I was strapped for cash.

The only problem I've had with CSA is their lack of contact, if they can ignore you they do. I'm one of the ones who gets nothing and I have 6 children still at home.

Person_one

Well he's not taking much responsibility for his child at all, but it's a tricky one if you're mostly happy with the current situation.

Morally, I think you'd be we'll within your rights to demand he contribute a fairer share, but practically it could open a rather large can of worms.

RAS

beccabee wrote: »

We agreed that he would pay £108 /month, we'd both just finished university.

That equates to an annual income of less than £9K under CSA rules; not enough to pay tax.

So you are entitled to a lot more.

Check if his parents still live at the same address - try plugging it into 192.com?

alleycat`

Agree with a combination of the above, although i don't pretend to speak from any sort of position of knowledge.

It isn't as much as it should be and i'd, personally as a dad, be moritified to contribute so little.

However, unless you really require the money, i would tread carefully. You could introduce an unstable element back into your life and you may find it is more hassle than it is worth (sad as that may be).

shoe*diva79

Personally I would try and track him down and put a proposal to him asking for £x per month (whatever you feel is fair).

The CSA are fairly good for new cases, altho because you don't know his circumstances you might shoot yourself in the foot. Fr example, he may have other children now which would lower any assessment. As a guide, your assessment would be 15% of his net pay less any reduction for children he has in his home.

guruchelles

I'm interested to know why it was precisely £108 in the first place? Did one of you arrive at that figure after some sort of calculation involving his income. If so, then he's likely to be fully aware that he's now paying far less (probably) than he should be.

I can fully appreciate not wanting to open a can of worms, but it seems unfair that you - or actually, your child - should miss out simply because you're afraid of his reaction. You shouldn't have to be afraid of his reaction.

You could track him down and ask for a certain figure, but if you've no idea of his earnings it would be a stab in the dark. I'd be inclined to get the CSA to do it.

ognum

Can I suggest that you find him and don't make your opening statement that you want money!

I would try to develop some kind of relationship with him, talk about your son and then discuss whether he would like to be more involved and then the cost of bringing up a child.

If however you really don't want his input with your child I would leave things as they are, I doubt you can stir up money issues without other issues becoming apparent.

It's difficult to decide which you want I'm sure!