ny1 going 4 visitation/custody of there kids??

Kimberley

clairepix2003 wrote: »

social services is involved due heroin being in the household with domestic violence, all children wearing clothes to small for them and for leaving the children alone, my dh ex been arrested 3-4 times for leaving her then 2 year old daughter alone the last time she got arrested 2 weeks later she tried to slit her wrists because of this my dh went in for a emergency residence hearing as all of the above was proven...if that isnt bad parenting what is????

Blimey you didn't say that in an earlier post, well i'm on your side then :eek:

clairepix2003

Social Services am also one of the people she moved and not notified... Its only been that time and this time we have gone for residence...

It was social services who notified the courts about there involvement as CAFCASS cant complete there report if Social Services are involved and after they gave all the reasons why they had to get involved we still didnt get residence and it wasnt even us who showed the courts proof... I dont think theres anyway the non resident parent can ever get custody...

daisy_doughnut

oh god thats terrible claire
what i never added on the last post was that my ex now has custody this is due to the children being in danger in there home they were abused by there step father
the ex just went to the house an took the children and applied for a residency order asap spelling out his concerns for the children the police came but once he voiced his worries an said that the was going to a solicitor first thing they left them there

i wish you lots of luck xxx

clairepix2003

other then weekend access with have only had "residency" twice, the 1st was for 2 days back in 2004, dh ex gf boyfiend was violent towards her when me and my dh was there and my dh split it up and ended up getting punched, so dh ex offered residency so my dh didnt press charges, we went to court 2 days later and dh ex said she was pressure by us and the police to make the statement....

2nd time was when my dh ex apparently went on holiday and if dh wanted to see his daughter we had to pay money (at that time we was having dh daughter tuesday 2pm - thursday 2pm) otherwise the person who was going to look after dh daughter for a week would refuse to let contact happen, turned out dh ex never went on holiday as we gave her the money on the friday (she was meant to go on holiday from friday - thursday) she demanded dh daughter back on the saturday, we refused as we had just paid quite a bit but agreed we would drop dh daughter off on the sunday at the usual cafe where collection/drop off happened...

Any normal/decent mum would off been there Sunday 5pm as agreed day before, but no she slunk back in to our lives about 11 days later and then accused my dh of child abduction, my dh got arrested and dh daughter went back to mum, the only reason my dh never got convicted was because he had called the police several times over the 11 days to ask what he should... All the police told him to do was trying and get intouch with mum to and get her to come back!!!

The courts/solicitors am well aware of all of this, social services concerns, CAFCASS concerns and everything but they just wont do anything...

Both mine and my dh solicitors are awaiting for the CAFCASS guardian to go to childs home and see if there has been any further signs of neglect also as dh ex has made alot of allegations that has turned out to be false our solicitors are waiting to see if dh ex has basically drummed all these allegations into there dds head, all reports was done last august so if dh dd says anything similar to the allegations they will know its come from mums side, then the solicitors will try and get dh ex seen by a pysciatrist and try and determine if she has that parental alienation thingy if so our solicitors will be pushing for residence on basis of emotional abuse... But before any of this happens she has to attend court...

Im not sure if all that makes sense as we am still trying to get our head around it all as it was only all mentioned when we went court 9th may...

Fair play to your ex in getting custody and sorry for the length in message it just nice to see it all in writing and helps me to get my head around the whole mess...

clairepix2003

hya

its been a while since i posted on this thread but thought i would update on everything, after going to court every month since dh daughters mum done a runner in september 2006 and as soon as the courts found her she did another runner, the courts only took 3 weeks to find her this time!

We went to court on 16th april and even tho hubby ex or legal representation did not show up (she still hasnt got a solicitor) things have started moving forward.

Hubby ex has agreed that she cant continue running/ignoring everything so has now started talking about my hubby in a positive way to there daughter and hubby ex has also agreed now to indirect contact atleast once a fortnight (hubby will be writing twice a week tho) shes done this off her own back as she does not have a solicitor yet. There will be a find a fact hearing September time (if hubby ex puts statements in, if she doesnt want to pursue the allegations she made back in feb 06 then she wont put statements in so find a fact hearing wont happen) also there will be a pyscotherapist report done (for me, hubby n ex) just to make sure none of us are a risk to hubby daughter, this has to be filed in court by august 31st with hearing date also september like the fact finding, so as soon as both of these have been dealt with contact resumes yayyyy!!

think hubby ex only agreeing as she found out im expecting (she found out at the beginning of april when cafcass guardian and childs solicitor (still cant believe a 5 year old got a solicitor) did a suprise visit on her in her new location) but we dont care as long as contact resumes and hopefully it does without no problems as we want hubby daughter to have a close contact with the new baby (which is a boy due June 08) so hopefully there will only be a minimum amount of time between the baby being born and contact resuming.

Just wanted to show to other people going through the same thing that after 5 years of going through the legal system and 19 months of mothers non attendance there can be light at the end of the tunnel (fingers crossed anyway)

Edit: Forgot to add that hubby ex has been told that she has to attend the next court case or they will defo proceed without her there and if she failed to attend then she would not be able to comment on any previous allegations/make new allegations if she wanted to. Only reason the court will accept non attendance is if there is something seriously wrong with the any of her 3 children (ages 1, 2 and 5 who is hubby daughter). They wanted next court hearing to be 14th May but hubby solicitor refused this as im due very shortly afterwards so next hearing is 11th June. Fingers crossed