tips for surviving living at home

essayhaitch

My partner and I were living together in a rented property and was processing the purchase of our first house, he was made redundent therefore we pulled out of the house sale and moved out of rented property and in with my family to save money, this was two years ago.

We are now both at a point where we are desperate to move out but we are unable to.
We have a 30k house deposit but a car loan is preventing us getting a decent mortgage, doesnt help that my partner is self employed but doesnt have the required number of years books. I do not have the best paid job so even with the deposit (25k) if we pay off the car I dont earn masses for the bank to lend me a mortgage big enough for a small property within our area.

Unfortunatly I do not want people to fall out and tensions are running rather high in our household. There is no talking to my family as much as I love them their attitude stinks, something is always someone elses problem. I will get spoken to like dirt by my sister, but I am then expected to help her out and when I dont I am the bad guy. One of my parentd is always on her side, she has stolen money from me several times but again it was my fault for leaving it 'laying aroun' laying around being in my purse in my bedroom.
I dont think sitting down and expressing our feelings and how muvh we sre dtruggling to live at hime will help, we will come across as ungrateful (I assure you we arent).

Any tips for living at home or perhaps suggestions on where to go from here. We would rathrr not rent but will consider it, looked into shared ownership but dont feel it would be a sensible option, nowhere else to stay.
Any advice is welcome and appriciated, I appologise if the post sounds spoilt, childish or ungrateful I admit I am not perfect but I am grateful for beung allowed to live at home. Also I appologise for any spelling mistakes, trying to get used to tablet typing whilst in a rush is not ideal.

pigpen

Use the house deposit to pay off the loan and resave. It will tot up quicker without car payments going out monthly.

And look at cheaper houses maybe so the mortgage is less.

McKneff

pigpen wrote: »

Use the house deposit to pay off the loan and resave. It will tot up quicker without car payments going out monthly.

I agree entirely with this, out of debt is the most sensible way to start.

InsideInsurance

essayhaitch wrote: »

Any tips for living at home or perhaps suggestions on where to go from here. We would rathrr not rent but will consider it, looked into shared ownership but dont feel it would be a sensible option, nowhere else to stay.
Any advice is welcome and appriciated, I appologise if the post sounds spoilt, childish or ungrateful I admit I am not perfect but I am grateful for beung allowed to live at home. Also I appologise for any spelling mistakes, trying to get used to tablet typing whilst in a rush is not ideal.

For a start it sounds like you are living at your parents/ in laws "home" rather than yours.

I agree with others, the interest being charged on a loan will be higher than interest you are gaining on your savings. Pay it off and resave.

If you are currently based on one low salary and one newly self employed person then you need to be realistic about your chances of getting a mortgage at this point in time. Could be worth speaking to a mortgage advisor to see how much of a pipe dreaming getting your own property will be.

Ultimately, whilst you are living rent and bill free in someone elses home you really dont have much choice on how the house operates and what the ground rules are. As you say, you are no longer children though my experience of those that go back to live with their parents do start acting child like again (ironically so do parents sometimes if they go and live with their children in later life etc)

Cost in life is not just measured in money, it may be worth balancing the emotional cost of living at your parents -v- the financial cost of getting a bedsit/ studio flat or becoming a lodger for a while

ognum

Whilest you do seem to be having a tough time living at home again have you considered how it is for your family with the boomerang kids back under their roof again!

It's not easy for you but I'm sure it's not easy for them either and they don't have the choice to move out!

maman

Sounds miserable where you are. Your parents are good to have you but I'd find it hard to accept living like that.

If I were you I'd rent the cheapest place you can find, pay off the car, live as frugally as possible (loads of advice on the OS boards) and then keep saving until your partner qualifies for a mortgage too. Don't give up on your ownership dream just accept that it'll take a little longer. But meantime you'll be much happier!

DS4215

essayhaitch wrote: »

One of my parentd is always on her side, she has stolen money from me several times but again it was my fault for leaving it 'laying aroun' laying around being in my purse in my bedroom.

Can you get a cheap safe and lock your valuables (purse/wallet/money) inside it. - I don't know if they are suitable, but some are available for £30 on eBay.

It would certainly keep thieving fingers out.

RAS

Have you considered something like property guardianship? basic but the rent is cheap and you could still save something.

At the moment it sounds like saving your sanity and that of most of the rest of the family is the priority.

I second sort out the car loan. By the time your OH has enough years you will have enough deposit.

CH27

I would move out & rent somewhere ASAP.

It will delay you buying a property but why be miserable?

whitewing

Could your fella move back with his parents for a bit? Maybe some of the stress is about having a non-biologically related person around so much. It may ease things if your family feel that they can speak to you sometimes not 'you' plural, without it becoming a big deal.

Rebecca01

We are in a similar situation, my parents would never codone my sister stealing though, however it does get intense sometimes. Usually because my Mother thinks her way to bring up my daughter is the right way and only way!
Things are bound to get intense with so many people under one roof. We find, going to bed and watching a DVD , to shut ourselves off for a while helps or popping out for a coffee, even a latte at mcdonalds at 6pm lol
We also are so grateful to my parents but it is only normal that everyone will get sick of each other , when they are together so much. I am sure I annoy my parents to. I can all most hear the party poppers as we drive down the street for a weekend away.:-0