I'm bored to tears with my job and it's my appraisal tomorrow!!!

voucherqueen_3

I've been in the same job, albeit working for different people in the same firm for 18 years now - in fact it's only my second job. I'm a legal secretary doing a job share working 3 days a week in a very large law firm.

The positive aspects are it is quite well paid - nearly £13K for just over 20 hours a week, I start at 9.30 so I can drop my son off at school and I only work 3 days. I have been in the pension scheme for 8 years - they pay 7.5% in and I match this.

The problem is I am bored to tears - I felt really low in the job around January/February time and it lifted when we had some warm weather and I felt okay about it and I put it down to SAD. But today I've come home and I feel like crying. It doesn't stretch me in any way at all.

To be honest this has been going on for a few years now but I keep on telling myself it's only 3 days a week, some people have to do it full time.

I feel I'm stuck in a rut - I used to call it the comfort zone but it doesn't feel comfortable anymore.

Lots of people I used to know well have left so I have very few friends there anyway and there is no social side of it anymore. I would love to work in a place where everyone got on really well and went out every Friday but it's just not like that.

My husband thinks I'd be mad to leave, he says it's easy money.

Sometimes I think I should do something else on my days off to broaden my horizons like maybe meet new people through doing voluntary work. Maybe I would feel better about my job then.

I think I'm just scared of moving on and have lost all confidence. I've only had two interviews in my life and they were only about 5 minutes long.

Sorry to go on and on.

I've just got to basically lie my way through this appraisal tomorrow as I read on a website not to be too negative, concentrate on the positives.

Tam_Lin

Can you present it as wanting to develop new skills and discuss what training opportunities there are, or take on new responsibilities? I'd certainly recommend using your days off wisely.

voucherqueen_3

I think I'd have to try for a totally different job within the firm and I really don't know what's available. There aren't that many new skills I could learn for my existing role. I could do all the usual IT courses such as powerpoint, spreadsheets etc but I wouldn't actually put them to use in my current role. I have mentioned things like this in previous appraisals just for the sake of saying something.

The problem also is with only working 3 days a week a lot of the "good" and interesting jobs seem to be for full timers.

The girl I jobshare with suggested increasing my hours and working for someone else but I really don't think it's the answer to increase my hours at the firm with the way I'm feeling at the moment.

I'm really scared of leaving in case it's the wrong thing to do but I also feel "trapped".

Primrose

I really feel for you. This must be a dilemma shared with a lot of people. Perhaps the answer is to do some voluntary work on your days off. Have you considered undergoing training to work as a volunteer in a Citizens Advice Bureau? The training is part-time for several months and you would be quite stretched mentally, as the problems on which they advise people run from debt, divorce, welfare benefits - in fact the whole spectrum of human difficulties. You will meet lots of people and might find this broadens your outlook on life if your current role bores you. Try Googling "Training for Citizens Advice volunteer role" or something similar if you want to find out more.

voucherqueen_3

I know a lot of people must be in the same position as me probably in much lower paid jobs such as shop work or call centre work so sometimes I feel ungrateful.

I have been meaning to put a post on here for a long time now about what voluntary work to go for. I don't want to be just sorting clothes out in a charity shop or be collecting money on the street, although this is very worthwhile. I want to meet people and also broaden my horizons.

The citizens advice thing sounds right up my street - I might just look into that.

Maybe the answer is to try and fill my life with a few new things on the days I don't work and maybe then work won't seem so bad.

I always worry that if I left my job to go to a similar sort of job I might end up in a worse position.

Any other ideas on voluntary work that will enable me to meet new people and broaden my horizons?

Rupa

How about helping out one morning a week in a local primary school?

voucherqueen_3

I've just had a look at the CAB website and I will definitely register an interest. I think I'd jump at anything at the moment.

Sometimes when you haven't done anything new for years you don't actually know what you are capable of.

I'm not far off 40, my children are not babies anymore and I really need to do something different otherwise everything will stand still.

Maybe I'm going through a mid life crisis??

voucherqueen_3

I could help out at my son's primary school but I think they have their usual helpers/ They've never sent any letters out requesting help so I haven't really volunteered.

mummymania

Before I went back to work I did voluntary work for a few hours in a Hostel for homeless pregnant teenagers. I then decided that I wanted to do more of this type of work and trained to be a counsellor and breastfeeding counsellor. I then went to paid work 18 mths ago adn do 18 hrs over 3 days working for the NHS in Mental Health and support new mums suffering from postnatal depression. I love my work and can see how my earlier experience in voluntary work, then having my daughter and getting PND myself, led to my now paid work.

What I'm saying is, maybe you can use one of your days off to do a few hours voluntary - get some experience and it may lead to a complete change of career - I was in the Civil Service for 11 yrs before i had my children.

Check out https://www.do-it.org.uk

hth
Una

voucherqueen_3

That's another thing I briefly thought I'd like to do after having my kids, breastfeeding counsellor/encourager, as I am absolutely passionate about breastfeeding but as usual I never looked any further into it.

I need a good kick up the backside to get me going.

I suppose I could try all sorts of new things, there's nothing to say I have to stick with them for years. I know it sounds stupid but I'm really scared I'll be rubbish at everything but I suppose you get training for all these volunteer roles, they can't just throw you in at the deep end.

Thanks.

conradmum

You're having a crisis in confidence because you aren't being challenged in your job, so you aren't getting any sense of achievement. It's a vicious circle. You really need to break that circle by doing something that will challenge you and remind you of your abilities and potential. What about further study? You could have a look at your local college's prospectus and choose something that'll give you a qualification, even if it's only in something you're interested in. That way you'll get to meet people and exercise your brain a bit as well as building your confidence. Maybe then you'll be in a better frame of mind for deciding what you want to do with the rest of your life.
I think life's too short to play safe all the time. Are you going to be thinking on your deathbed - I really wish I'd stayed in that job I hated a bit longer? There are other jobs that have similar benefits and conveniences but will be more enjoyable for you. You aren't risking anything by trying to find out what they are.