Weddings - Venues, Receptions and Costs!

runicfire

Hi!

I have a question for all you helpful people out there - I'm getting married to my wonderful fiancee next year after almost 10 years (I've been told it's been long enough - I think she was giving up hope!) and we've been looking at various venues and getting the planning underway.

We've decided on a Church wedding, and we're only having around 40-50 guests for the ceremony and reception, then 80ish for the evening mainly because my side of the family is rather small - at the moment I've only got 9 guests from my side and even that is stretching to distant family!

Having looked at various venues and the associated costs involved, I'm stunned that some places can charge so much just to hire a room for a few hours, never mind provide some food. I had always imagined a wedding at a country house\hotel\hall etc or something like that, however after getting a few quotes in the costs just seem to be spiralling out of control.

Out of curiosity, we approached the club manager of the local Golf club, seeing as the clubhouse is only a few hundred metres from the Church - and both are on the cliffside by the sea, so have some lovely views (although there are caravans and a power station if you look in the wrong direction....). The room in the clubhouse is nice enough, if a little small - I've played a few rounds there before and the people are always friendly.

Here's where I have the dilemma - the Club manager offered us the room for free. It is shuttered off from the main clubhouse room during the reception, as he would still be letting golfers use the course and the main bar, which is fair enough. For the evening we would have use of the full clubhouse, but he would leave the bar open to the public. Although there's never more than a couple of people in there anyway in the evenings, and I'm fairly sure most people would just stay away if they saw a wedding party there. He has an in house caterer, and the food is supposed to be very good...although it will be fairly simple. And the bar is cheaper than a high end hotel\hall. All in all this probably saves us in the region of £2000-£2500 through having no room costs and cheaper food & drink, transport between venues etc.

I'm worried that she would be disappointed by the choice of venue, although she's assured me she would be happy anywhere, I just can't shake the feeling that she would look back at the photos in a few years time and wish she had been in another venue. Some castle or grand country hall maybe!

Or that people might feel a bit uncomfortable being somewhere where there might be the odd member of the public having a pint! It doesn't particularly bother me as long as they don't go raiding our buffet!

What are peoples feelings on this - would you go for the cheaper venue and not be worried by it, knowing that you've saved the money and can put some of it towards extras, decorations, better honeymoon etc (or mortgage, lol) - and would it make you uncomfortable with the venue being open to the odd member of joe public? Or would you rather spend the extra money and go for somewhere more private or special, like a country hall or hotel.

Apologies if this is a bit rambling - I just don't want her to feel like her special day was 'on the cheap' as it were, but at the same time - would turning a free venue down be the looking proverbial gift horse in the mouth?

floss2

First suggestion - post this onto the Weddings board as you'll get more like-minded posters there.

Second - have you discussed the venue options with your fiancee? It's her wedding too, and it's generally a good idea to have some discussion and agreement before you go ahead & book something - in my husband's experience anyway!

74jax

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=142

hey, if you post your thread on the Weddings Boards, you'll get losts of advice there. Not that this board isn't helpful, but there's loads of brides/grooms over there going through similar experiences.

lovecake

First off, congratulations!

You might have more luck with this question over on the weddings board:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=&f=142

There will be loads of brides to be on there that will be more than happy to give an opinion of someone going through a similar time.

From the point of view of a recent bride (and this is just my opinion) I would not be happy with members of the public being able to wander in and out. It is a very intimate time and I just wouldn't want anyone else other than those I had invited to be there. I also have a few friends that have looked back on their photos and wish they had chosen somewhere else. I don't necessarily think it needs to be somewhere 'grand', but you need to think about where you might have your photos taken if the weather was bad and you needed to have a lot of them taken indoors. Going for a venue that has something special about it on the inside would make this easier. I can understand why from a money-saving point you should go for the cheaper option, but from an emotional point of view I would splash out a bit for your special day. If you can stretch the budget, I say go for it, but don't get yourselves into masses of debt for it.

Research, research, research is all I can suggest - it took me around 5 months to find our venue. If you think the golf club is still the best option then go for it, but you might stumble across something better that fits your price range. There are loads of great blogs out there that could give you ideas of how to keep costs down in other areas if you choose to spend a bit more on the venue. For example, we did our own invitations and decorations and kept costs down on bridesmaids dresses by steering clear of the traditional bridal stores. I also had my dress made which saved us a packet! There are loads of other things you can DIY if you have the time and inclination.

Good luck! HTH

lovecake

Oops, cross posted with 74jax - great minds...

runicfire

Thanks for all the replies - I should have looked harder as I didn't see there was a weddings board...doh!

Oh and just to clarify - we've been looking at venues together, I wouldn't book somewhere on my own - too risky, lol! She has said she is perfectly happy with it, but I think we might have to have a long conversation about it as I want to make sure she isn't just saying that.

runicfire

lovecake wrote: »

I don't necessarily think it needs to be somewhere 'grand', but you need to think about where you might have your photos taken if the weather was bad and you needed to have a lot of them taken indoors. Going for a venue that has something special about it on the inside would make this easier.

Now that's something I hadn't thought of - a very good point. Somewhere with photo opportunities inside would be a very good idea!

mummybearx

I got married at Huntingtower castle in Perth. Beautiful venue, lovely lovely place to be married. We spent a fortune on our photographer to capture the day, which he did wonderfully.

The reception was in a local masonic hall. Free to hire, cheap alcohol at the bar, and a big enough dance floor to get a boogie! The bar was open to the public as it always is, I had a few people I didn't know congratulate me on my wedding etc, which was actually really lovely

Would I change it? No, not a thing! I took the free reception area and hired in my own caterer. I spent the money that would have paid for a fancy hotel reception on my photographer. I now have the most wonderful photos of my beautiful wedding, and we had a great party after the ceremony! x

LannieDuck

Before my wedding, I was convinced that spending a lot on one day was silly. But when it came down to it, we spent a lot on our wedding and I have wonderful memories. Worth it if you can afford it.

My advice is to work out between you which parts are important to you - is the dress more important than the venue? Is it important that you have a sit down meal, or would a buffet do? Then spend your money in the areas that matter to you.

We both cared about the venue/food/wine, but I didn't care about my dress/invitations/flowers. So in your situation, I would spend the extra money on hiring a nice place for the reception, and cut costs in other areas. But YMMV

GlamGirlie

We are getting married later this year and a key element of choosing our reception venue (also a Church wedding) was exclusivity. We did not want all and sundry being able to wander into our celebrations!

We also wanted exclusivity on bedrooms for the same reason, so booked a small country house with 13 bedrooms where they are all ours.

I would suggest you consider what is important to you, and what is not.

Peater

The last few weddings i have attended have cost between £18k-£30k.

Utterly disgusting waste of money if you ask me. It's an industry kept alive by filling kid's head's with ideals of 'a perfect/fairytale wedding'. Ludicrous.