My house is so empty now

Dollardog

I had to have my beloved dog PTS on January 2nd. I still miss him so much, can't stop the tears at the least little thing. I don't have to go into my company's offices much but had to on Friday, it ended up with a little group of us crying our eyes out in the board room.
He had been ill for a while, he'd been drinking a lot but all three blood tests he had came up that there was nothing physically wrong, the vet pt it down to his age and a bit of senility. She put him on some fish oil capsules, but it made no difference. He started to want water more than food and I had to restrict him so he wouldn't fill up with water.
Then he got an infection and stopped eating altogether, he was having steroid injections to try to boost his appetite and he had an odd day when he would eat but I was keeping him going on Complan and eggs. He was getting thinner and thinner though.
The vet said it was typical sign of a brain tumour.
All the time he was still bright and alert and wanting to go for walks, chase pigeons etc, the vet said even though he was getting so thin, he wasn't ready to leave me. He had another spell of not wanting anything, not even the Complan, not even wanting water.
In the morning of New Years Day, he was fine but as the day went on I could see he was getting tired and he was wobbly on his legs, I knew I had to take him the next day. When I got up, he was in his bed and didn'[t come to greet me. He still came though when I rattled his lead but we only got a little way down the road and had to turn back, he was weak on his legs.
I rang the vet and although she was out on calls, said she would meet me at the surgery at lunchtime. he had never been bothered about going to the vets and loved his usual vet.
He went so relaxed and peacefully, I didn't even know he had gone until she told the nurse that she could let him roll on his side. He had been looking at me all the time and never even flinched when the needle went in. If only people could go as relaxed and peacefully as that.
The house is awful without him, I miss him so much. Its awful to lose a pet anytime but when you live on your own and have no others it hits you even harder. I get home from work and sit outside in my car for ages, not wanting to come into an empty house. There's no-one to greet me in the hall and investigate my bags. No one to potter in for a cuddle when I'm sitting typing on my laptop.
I can't write anymore, I can't see the keyboard for tears.

Rest in peace sweetheart, I miss you so much xx

catkins

I am so sorry to hear about your boy. I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my boy last July and the house was so quiet and empty without him. I too hated coming home and not having him run to me, wagging his tail and so happy to see me.

You have to tell yourself you gave him a lovely happy and loved life and, at the end, you did the kindest thing for him.

I am lucky in that I don't live alone - OH was very upset too (never seen him cry so much) but I cried for weeks and honestly felt like my heart had been ripped out.

It does get easier - I still cry but nowhere near as much and now I can look at photos of him or his collar and lead and smile or even laugh at memories of him.

I will never forget him but I have a puppy now because both me and OH missed having a dog so much. The puppy is the same breed but in no way a replacement - he is so different in many ways

Sharon140

My heart goes out to you I know the feeling all to well along with many others here, almost 3 months now since we had my Sasha PTS and it was the hardest thing we have ever had to do she also was an OAP and her legs were very week she was also completely blind and had dementia. I cant tell you it will get easier anytime soon but you learn to cope with the pain and I can actually go through some days without tears now but the sadness is always there

I light a candle everyday by her picture and ashes and I also have a memory box with pictures toys collar poems ect might not be everyones cup of tea but it helps me

Take care of yourself we are all here for you if you need to chat :kisses3:

rising_from_the_ashes

Dollar ...... (((hugs))) .... sorry I can't take the pain away hun xx

Sorry I can't say anything helpful ...... screen blurry here too

big5

Sending you some virtual hugs (((((((Dollardog))))))))

I'm glad the end was so peaceful and dignified for your beloved boy and I hope in time your pain will be less raw.

Jenny.W

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news....I really feel for you. I've lost 3 dogs in the last three years and my god, how it hurts :-(

It will ease but it will take time and soon you will remember the happy times and smile when you think about him. I have bought a special plant for each of the dogs I've lost and they are in the garden. Each year when they come into bloom it makes me feel that they are with me.

Have you thought of getting another, especially as you live alone? It would not be disrespectful to your boy, in a way you would be giving your love to another dog looking for their forever home. I always think its the greatest give you can give.

I'm alone a lot of the time too so I know how empty your home must be feeling xx

RevolvingDoor

(((Hugs))) Sorry for your loss.:(

Dollardog

Jenny.W wrote: »

Have you thought of getting another, especially as you live alone? It would not be disrespectful to your boy, in a way you would be giving your love to another dog looking for their forever home. I always think its the greatest give you can give.

I'm alone a lot of the time too so I know how empty your home must be feeling xx

I long for another one, but it looks like I am going to have to pay a big vets bill even though he was insured and I was paying £130 a month for it. Until that is paid, I couldn't afford to even look for another although I did see the perfect one for me on the breed rescue site the other day. I rang to offer my services as a home checker for them and they asked if I was looking, I mentioned having seen one I liked the sound of but someone had rung up that very morning and she was reserved subject to a home check. She did have a bit of a health issue but it was not too bad, it was able to be controlled easily and it wouldn't have put me off at least discussing it with the rescue, but looks like I was too late, as I say though, until his vets bill is paid, I can't even seriously think of one yet anyway..
My wish list I am afraid is long, it will be a rescue, I couldn't have a pup. I work, so it has to be able to be left. It needs to be good with people and dogs becuse of the places I go that I would need to take it. Not too bouncy as my legs aren't too good these days.
Would really like one of the same breed as I have had the same breed since 1961 but the problem is, the get very expensive to insure - he was £130 a month, and so I would be wary of getting one with any known issues and even wary of sticking with the same breed but know if I had anything else I would still pine for one.
I'm sure that somewhere out there there is a dog for me, its just waiting for it to find me.

quietheart

I've been there, it was a long time ago now but it still makes me well up.
So hard for others to understand. I've had relatives die who I missed a whole lot less. Sounds awful but it's true.
Really feel for you.

Scrapaholic

Sorry to read your sad story and for your loss . I hope you can soon remember the happy times without to much heartbreak and when the time is right, the perfect companion will find you . Best wishes .

lisajane8482

I didn't want to read & run and I can't really say very much except I'm sorry for your loss. (((Hugs)))