Return to work woes

newperspective

I have recently returned to work after a year's maternity leave. Returned to an industry I have been in for 12 years however I was only in this particular job for 8 months before I left for a year to have and raise my baby.

My office has changed so much that I feel like I am drowning. I am not confident in my abilities and have spoken up about it however it has been taken as a crisis of confidence rather than a serious issue.

I no longer feel this career path is what I want to do and am currently looking into all sorts of other options to get out. Problem is I am 32 now, no degree behind me. Qualifications ended at a-level some 13 years ago. I fell into the industry I am now in to be honest and worked my way up, almost coasting along. I am pretty well paid and although have returned part time am probably on a better wage where I am than if I were to work full time locally.

Another issue is that I am currently receiving a 'return to work bonus' from my employer, which is being paid out for 12 months just for returning to my job.

If I leave at the end of this period my wage will significantly decrease enough to justify saving costs on travel and hours in childcare and away from the home enough to find something more local.

The corporate ladder no longer appeals. Well certainly not in this job. I want to spend as much time with my child as possible, certainly till they hit school age and someone else will be helping to shape their opinions on the world.

Bit of a longwinded tale but has anyone else out there decided money isn't actually the be-all-and-end-all and decided they really want to do something different at my age? I'm thinking of retraining, possibly studying for a degree in something I actually am interested in, or possibly even progress with e-commerce and set up a business from home. Or am I mad to leave a well paid industry when so many are in dire straits but remain unhappy for the forthcoming?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

dseventy

Did you have KIT days with your employer whilst off (these are "keeping in touch days") it helps to see whats going on and hear about the work so the first day is not a huge shock.

Do you have a partner? Where is dad of baby? Have you discussed this with him? It will help to talk this over as you will need support.

Have you spoken to your manager? Discussed it with him/her?

Financially can you afford it?

Only you know these things, my only bit of advice would be jus tto wait a few weeks, dont make any big decisions now, if you still feel this way then, time for action and discussion.

D70

t0rt0ise

Do what you like as long as can afford it. Money isn't everything but you do need some. Make a vague plan and go for it.

davenport151

I found a similar thing to you. But our situations are a little different. I had no wish to return to my previous line of work (Catering) but I was a SAHM for the first year then got various part time jobs (the usual; kleeneze catalogues, cleaning) that fitted in with this. Finally when my son was older I used school hours to do a learn direct course (keyboard & computer skills plus book keeping) with the aim of working in office/admin area.
I was lucky to get a chance where I am now as I had the training but no experience. I work 2 days a week (my hourly rate is pretty good so this is possibly the equiviilant of 3/4 days). It suits me.
Money is not everything. Time with your child is. Believe me it goes by quickly.

dawyldthing

I'm 26 and although I haven't got kids I have gone down to my minimum hours a week (30) as i'd rather have my life back rather than working too many hours. I did my degree when I was younger (18 to 22 as I had to defer a year due to an exam, but in some ways I do wish i'd have done it maybe now as I think I was too young to go to university and properly knuckle down and so now I don't use my degree (primary education, but may go back and do my pgce in years to come)). But i'm now of the belief that as long as my mortgage and bills are paid and i've got a bit of money to go out with then i'm happy, as life isn't all about money. Follow your heart as were a long time working (i recogn most of us now will be working 50 years or more)

newperspective

dseventy wrote: »

Did you have KIT days with your employer whilst off (these are "keeping in touch days") it helps to see whats going on and hear about the work so the first day is not a huge shock.

Do you have a partner? Where is dad of baby? Have you discussed this with him? It will help to talk this over as you will need support.

Have you spoken to your manager? Discussed it with him/her?

Financially can you afford it?

Only you know these things, my only bit of advice would be jus tto wait a few weeks, dont make any big decisions now, if you still feel this way then, time for action and discussion.

D70

Yes I did five or so KIT days and I went back three days a week in September so have been back a while now and it's just not clicking. A lot of my job involves memory and I have forgotten a lot of the information I once knew. The company side has changed a lot too since September. New boss, colleagues leaving. This has only made me think further that I want out thou.

My partner and baby's father is not too supportive overall as he is in a career he wanted to be in from a small age. He's happy in his job and doesn't really understand how I cannot be. Yet do not know what it is that I do want to do.

I've always been extremely self sufficient. Own my own flat that I rent out and he has his own also. We rent together currently as he is working on a project that finishes in October and has not decided if he wants to remain local or not- we live close to my parents as this is my home town but he was not a local to the area asides from this project.

Financially. I have a large savings account, I am frugal with money and have always saved since I was a kid. He is a spender and on a much higher wage than I but I think I am starting to re-educate him on the cost of living these days. I have worked out what outgoings I have that I would need to cover and think I could achieve this and sat goodbye to a 3 hour a day commute. Just don't want to jump without some grounding there you know?

newperspective

davenport151 wrote: »

I found a similar thing to you. But our situations are a little different. I had no wish to return to my previous line of work (Catering) but I was a SAHM for the first year then got various part time jobs (the usual; kleeneze catalogues, cleaning) that fitted in with this. Finally when my son was older I used school hours to do a learn direct course (keyboard & computer skills plus book keeping) with the aim of working in office/admin area.
I was lucky to get a chance where I am now as I had the training but no experience. I work 2 days a week (my hourly rate is pretty good so this is possibly the equiviilant of 3/4 days). It suits me.
Money is not everything. Time with your child is. Believe me it goes by quickly.

How did you find the kleeneze work? I always assume it wouldn't bring much to the table. Have thought about these things but the general view around me is it would be 'under achieving' from being in such a role as I am currently. Thou I know I would definitely feel a lot happier just turning my back on the rat race. I'm just not living the 'city' life anymore to want it and its trappings enough

davenport151

Thats it exactly dawyldthing!
Not all of us know what we want to do at leaving school age. College/university is not for everyone. Luckily there is so much adult education out there.

newperspective - Is there anything you have always wanted to do or train for? something you enjoy?
Good luck!
Re the Kleeneze - for me it was probably 'pin money'. If you can build up a good client base that helps. I had one excellent client and if they had all been like that it would have been great. At the time though it was a means to an end. I also did leafleting for a while.I'm sure there's some other threads on this. Check out the up your income board.

newperspective

davenport151 wrote: »

Thats it exactly dawyldthing!
Not all of us know what we want to do at leaving school age. College/university is not for everyone. Luckily there is so much adult education out there.

newperspective - Is there anything you have always wanted to do or train for? something you enjoy?
Good luck!
Re the Kleeneze - for me it was probably 'pin money'. If you can build up a good client base that helps. I had one excellent client and if they had all been like that it would have been great. At the time though it was a means to an end. I also did leafleting for a while.I'm sure there's some other threads on this. Check out the up your income board.

That's exactly why I need to be careful on the money front as I would be an idiot to go into another job I didn't really like from this one or one to just 'get by'. I'm really interested in criminology. Was thinking perhaps of further education but I need a final aim really as well. I want my daughter to grow up with a happy mum though. Not one who regrets choices and decisions I should have made. Like I say at 32 I'm getting on a bit now. Just very confused as to which direction to go in at the moment.

duchy

The under achieving thing........ If you "drop" to a job with less earning power/less status you WILL find people (maybe even your own partner -my ex-husband was horrified) take a negative view of it. How much this matters to you IS relevent as it gets very old very quickly and can cause tension. For me I was confident in my decision that I wanted a "job" and not a career anymore but even with that certainty it was difficult at times . Maybe spend the coming months of "back to work bonus time" exploring what you want to do instead and working out how much you could afford to lose financially....and even the work availability-The job market is VERY flat at the moment especially going into a new field. Would you consider starting your own business ? Testing the water in your "spare time" (yes I know working Mums don't have much of that ) before leaving your job .....or even if you decide what you want to do even going back to education and taking your degree now. Lots of women your age do that-I did it myself. Have you explored some of the Criminology degrees ? Most of the unis offer them and have links to the type of careers it leads to.

Perhaps before you make a move you need to decide what you want to do instead and how to achieve it-there's lots of opertunity of there -it's just deciding what will be right for you.

newperspective

Thanks Duchy, I think that's exactly what I need to do. I am procrastinating too much and know I am unhappy. I think I need to stop talking and GET ON AND DO something about it!! :-)

I would like to run my own business from home and possibly study for a degree also - but with a toddler it really is finding the time. In 8 months she will qualify for the 15 hours a week free childcare which would also tie in with my bonus at work being wound up - so as long as I find out that I wouldn't need to pay that back (i've been stashing it luckily) I could look to that to being my goal time to get out and do something else!

Thanks for the support though. Its always handy to seek people's advice that don't know you isn't it. There are no preconceptions holding people back from their honesty