Has anyone moved back in with parents? Advice needed.

Dunroamin

Why don't you encourage your dad to downsize to a smaller house or flat near you which would enable him to clear his small mortgage and (possibly) repay some of his debts. This would seem to be far more straightforward.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I wouldn't do it. I would have liked to have had the life that made it a possible, but even had I, I wouldn't sell up and move in with a parent as an adult.



He's only 60. He could quite conceivably meet and marry somebody else and be with them for over 20 years at that age.


Talk to him about other things he could be doing on his time off from work - he was used to having people to come home to, now he needs to find people to socialise with outside the home. NOT old people clubs, though. Music? Sport? Hobbies?

Tupperware_Queen

I'm sure my ex MIL talked about her and ex FIL house being put into something called 'tenants in common' rather than joint ownership to prevent house having to be sold if one of them needed care....deffo you need to get legal advice before doing anything

Errata

In your shoes I would:
Tell him it's me AND the dog
Move in with him for a six month trial period whilst renting out my flat.

KxMx

OP's Dad has a cat though and is obviously putting his pet first, which is fair enough.

jackyann

I agree about the trial period whilst you rent, and that you seek good legal advice. During that period also consider both selling up & buying a new, joint property. This may enable you to get a better space for 2 adults than the old family home, and may be clearer from the pov of ownership / inheritance.

You haven't mentioned it (forgive me if it is obvious) but you really do need ground rules about jobs, meal times & personal space. Is there a place that you can claim for your own occasional sitting room / study? I never undeerestimate how easy it is for parent & child to slip into old roles!

Dunroamin

KxMx wrote: »

OP's Dad has a cat though and is obviously putting his pet first, which is fair enough.

First before whom?

KxMx

Dunroamin wrote: »

First before whom?

Since OP's Dad has hinted about OP moving in but not with the dog, jokes about "dead dog day" and the last time OP was there the dog went to OP's sister, I have assumed it's because he is prioritising his own pet cat over OP's dog.

If that's wrong then I apologise to the OP. There could of course be other reasons.

tyllwyd

The OP hasn't said how old they are? I would guess in your 30s, and I assume not in a relationship. What would happen if you met someone and started a family? It wouldn't seem fair on your Dad to move in, allow him to start relying on you, and then potentially move out again when he is older and frailer than he is now.

If it was me, I think I'd be looking to help him move to a smaller place, maybe a bungalow, maybe even a sheltered housing type property, closer to you, so that you can visit more often. You need something where you can be confident it is a long term solution, even if your circumstances change.

Dunroamin

KxMx wrote: »

Since OP's Dad has hinted about OP moving in but not with the dog, jokes about "dead dog day" and the last time OP was there the dog went to OP's sister, I have assumed it's because he is prioritising his own pet cat.

If that's wrong then I apologise to the OP. There could of course be other reasons.

It's a bit much to be laying down the law when the OP is the one doing him a favour! If I were in that situation and a relative was joking about my dog dying I would withdraw my offer toot sweet.