Partner Hiding Debt From me & don't know what to do!!

babypaws

Thanks for your responses... I've given him the number of Stepchange & told him to ring about the debts he knows I know about. Hopefuly he'll admit all debts to them & they'll be able to help.

I'm going to pester him & keep on top of it all & ask what Stepchange said etc. I'll buy my time, & see what happens. Hopefully he'll make the first move & tell me the truth. But if he doesn't then I think I'll have to seriously consider ending things.

moneysaymoneydo

I agree with the no secrets in a relationship but his mail is your mail i would slightly disagree, i would not like my partner going through my mail, it is up to me to be honest with my partner and vice versa but thats entirely up to the individual.

Anyway other than that you realise he has debt issues, unfortunately as another said sometimes this is how he will always be and if you want a life of suspicion and having everything in your name then thats fine but if he does get help and sorts himself out he would in my opinion deserve a change to sort it out, failing that and still saying nothings wrong then i would ensure you keep all your money in your name and it will maybe take a couple of years but eventually you will want better and see there is no point wasting time trying to help someone that doesnt want it, its a shame if you love him but (providing he doesnt do anything about his problem) i could see it would be easy to 'fall out of love' with a man with money issues, but you never know he may see the light and realise he has money issues and may want to sort out the problem for the sake of your relationship and the future.

Whatever you do dont use your hard earned cash to fund his debt payments you will only regret in the future!

Good luck remember think of yourself first!

heartbreak_star

I can say I was the partner that hid it for a while.

Me and OH have only been together about a year and a half. When we first got together, I was careful to hide the fact money is tight. However, when I moved in with him, I was upfront about the fact that I'd had a bad few years, got into a frankly awful financial situation and am repaying it (self-managed DMP ). I advised him not to put me on any bills or the mortgage, and said I wouldn't open a joint account with him.

We have paperwork that states how I fit into the household financially, and I'm on the council tax as living there. That's it.

This, however, has only worked because I was honest.

Keep trying OP...but if you have to try too hard, have a think about where this will end up. Good luck.

HBS x

babypaws

So he said he rang Stepchange & he told them everything & they'll ring back with a plan next week & if he's happy with it he can agree & get the ball rolling. Is that what they do?

Hopefully if he is telling me the truth... He'll see I'm trying to help.

DS4215

That sounds similar. I think I had about a week before a discussion with a counselor after signing up with CCCS. It then was sent out for signing, etc.