Brother grrr

Lilly11a

Hi all hope you can help me find a way to make my brother see sense.

I am the oldest, i have a flat with a mortgage which I share with my kids half the week ( with their dad rest of the time) and a hamster .

Youngest brother renting flat with gf and boxer dog no kids.

Middle brother 31 still at home daughter lives with her mother so he has to pay csa. Currently pays no house keeping, buys no food and mum washes his clothes etc, doesn't drive but having lessons. Also member of David Lloyds .

Dad retired two years ago mum retiring March so income will drop.

My mum has asked him to give £250 a month house keeping. He has got very angry at this and says that he would not be able to save anything(fyi he takes home circa £1500 a month but does need a train ticket £170 ish)

When I've told him they can't afford to support him anymore, i'm told I should give them money as I earn more than him.

(I'm not in a position to do this as I have quite a high mortgage and also pay child support to kids dad( he gets clothes etc so this is fair)).

Brother is v angry and will not see things for anyone else's pov.

Caroline_a

Easy - tell him to find somewhere else to live for £250!

kingfisherblue

It shouldn't be you telling him, it should be your parents. They have allowed him to live in their home without paying his way, and they need to give him a choice of either starting to pay, or move out.

Your income is immaterial, as you are a separate household.

stir_crazy

There's one in every family isn't there? Personally, I wouldn't try to get your brother to see sense. What your parents need to do is give your brother an ultimatum, either pay up or ship out (preferably by a set date so he has time to get accomodation).

At 31, your brother is no longer a child and shouldn't be treated as such (perhaps your parents have, although maybe not intentionally). If he takes home £1500 a month he should be able to budget so that its enough to rent accomodation, pay his bills and pay for his daughter.

ETA: And with the pay he is taking home, if he wanted to save anything he would have done it by now.

antw23uk

Stay out of it. Your parents need to tell him to cough up or move out. He wont get a better deal for £250 ... :mad:

Tiddlywinks

If your mum and dad can't afford to let him stay then they need to tell him that.

Yhey may need another family member there for moral support BUT they need to be the ones giving the message.

If your brother does not want to pay towards his 'keep' then he they need to give him a month to move out.

If he doesn't move willingly.... change the locks whilst he's at work, put all his stuff in bin bags and leave them in the garage or on the doorstep.

He's an adult so it's time to live like one.

Lilly11a

Thanks guys just really looking to see if anyone did see it his way but you have confirmed my thoughts. He does have around 15k saved and was saving for a deposit ( but wants to go straight to a three bed house) so not enough where we are in North London.

My parents have been asking him to contribute on and off for years but more persistantly since september-


I just think he has no idea what things cost and how much disposable income most people have each month.

Valli

No wonder he's managed to save £15K.

pinkshoes

Your mum and dad need to look up how much a lodger would pay for the room, and your brother needs to pay around that amount.

If he refuses, then he can go rent elsewhere, and your parents can get a lodger to help with the money!

Lilith1980

What a cheek to ask YOU to pay when you don't even live there!

He is an adult and really, I think your parents could have asked him a lot sooner to start paying board. Even so, it's unfair for him to refuse to pay now that your mum has asked him to.

I would not get involved, let your parents deal with it. They might get fed up and throw him out or they may give in and stop asking for board, it's up to them I guess

amyloofoo

He's going to have a MASSIVE shock when he eventually does move out if he's been living for free and thinks he can't spare £250 a month and save on his income... :eek: I agree that this needs to come from your parents though, by all means support them, but it's their house and he's their son at the end of the day.