Anyone else a closet MFW?

minimoocow

Hi all,

Recently ceased to be a lurker and started posting on the MFiT thread and am feeling liberated but just wondered if anyone was still in the closet so to speak when it came to family and friends?

As part of the MFW plan we bought an investment property last year and the response from friends (and some family) was "Well you must be loaded then" (We're not!) I ended up just telling people that I had inherited some money and used that - I did use it to pay for the solicitors fees but we had already saved up the deposit . . . :rotfl: So as a result of this reaction we are decidedly "in the closet" about the MFWness!

I don't think we are any better off than any of our friends - we both earn less than the quoted national average. I did earn more in my last job but OH wasn't working (student) so it went 2 ways! We do however save more due to living more frugally - once told a colleague my monthly budget to which she said "OMG How do you survive - you've only got to eat out twice a week and that's gone!" :rotfl: (well yes . . . that's why we budget for eating out once a quarter!!!)

Anyone else feeling like it's a great big secret when actually it should be something to be proud of?

MMC

hgbels

I tend to keep quiet about being mortage free as well.
I did earn a good wage for a few years, but basically we paid off our mortgage by living within our means (no borrowings), not having flash cars, and being lucky when we bought our house.

I recently told my sisiter - who has always earned more than me I think - and she said stright out that anyone who didn't have a mortgage was stupid --- hohum


I think then main thing is to decide what you want and aim for that, and not worry what everyone else thinks. I have had years of collegues laughing at my car -- but I know it was fully paid for, and working-- where they had large car loans.

We can now live on one income so I can stay home with the kids

hels

evab_2

HI minimoocow,

I'm a recent MFW after paying off my debts, my husband and I haven't told anyone about our plans to be MF as some of the family already think that we're better than them so it'll just add further issues for them to stew over.

I'm going to start a MFW diary when I get my next statement, as we are going to start overpaying each month.

I've also got an old car, haven't been on holiday for years and am wearing clothes up to 10 years old - but at least I know that we own everything apart from the house, great stability for our daughter.

farhad1965

hgbels wrote: »

I recently told my sisiter - who has always earned more than me I think - and she said stright out that anyone who didn't have a mortgage was stupid --- hohum
hels

Don't take any notice of what people say.

Reminds of when I bought my first property in 1989. I was on £20k a year and took out a £35k mortgage on a £37.5k flat in Banbury, Oxfordshire. The mortgage advisor thought I was mad not to take out a £60k mortgage and get a bigger property. Good job I did not, as I was young (and stupid) and just managed to control my money and not fall behind on the £35k mortgage.

Dithering_Dad

I've actually found that people get hostile when they find out that you're paying off your mortgage because they like to pidgeon hole you as having a certain income and a certain lifestyle. As they don't really know how much you're earning they have to base it on what car you drive and how big your house is.

You tend to upset their applecart when after a few years of living a simple life with an older car, you turn round and say that "No, we're not poor, we were just being careful while we paid the mortgage off". Suddenly they realise that actually, they're not richer than you. In fact far from it, and boy do they get upset!

I also think that deep down, they would also love to be paying off their mortgage but are stuck on the financial treadmill of trying to impress or compete with friends, colleagues and neighbours.

Redbedhead

I don't really talk about it with people anyway, but that is more do with no really talking about finances with other people. Don't get me wrong, I discuss general financial issues, but not our own financial issues.

As a result I doubt any of them really know we are MFW, but then none of them know about any savings or debts we have either.

minimoocow

Thanks for all your replies - It's so nice to have things in common with people - was begining to think me and megamoos were a different species!!

Was talking to friends last week and subject turned to holidays - as in Thailand, Kenya, Cairo! I mentioned me and Megamoos were planning our first holiday abroad together (Hoping to keep total cost below £750) and their jaws dropped!!! Think they nearly passed out when I said last time I went abroad was 2001 and that was for studying not holiday. But we had our honeymoon in Guernsey which was lovely and nearly abroad (we went on a plane so I reckon that counts!)

And I love your comments about cars - we finally sucumbed in Jan and got a second vehicle as megamoos has a 25 mile round trip to work (2.5hours each way on public transport!) and I have to visit clients in the most bizzare locations. Anyway after discussing it we agreed I'd get "our" fiesta and mega would get an old escort van - he has always wanted a van and didn't care about the state of it! However his collegues all have brand new £20k plus cars and are beside themselves about why he'd possibly want that pile of carp! :rotfl: which I think is making him love it all the more.

MMC

farhad1965

minimoocow - funny you should mention holidays. In 4 weeks, the mrs, the kids and I will be in Thailand (Phuket) for a week. Did not take a holiday in 2006 and none so far in 2007. So we are looking forward to this one.

Re Cars. I used to buy cars, but have found that leasing (for 18 or 24 months works best). No £20-25k commitment and can always have a newish car. As I get diesel cars, within the 18-24 months there are no service costs and the first one with some cars is free.

sallyb17

I was talking to a colleague at work recently and he told me that he'd used his bonus to pay off a chunk of his mortgage as he was trying to pay it off...I think he looked a little pleasantly surprised when I said "Good for you! I did that too, because I'm trying to pay off my mortgage as well!".

I bet he doesn't get that sort of reaction very often, but I thought it rather nice that he was being very open about it, even with colleagues such as myself who don't know him too well personally. I think by being open about this we open ourselves up to ridicule from those who disagree or don't see the point, but also just think that it might just encourage the next person to start tackling their balances too...

I also drive around in a battered 100k miles 1998 car and make soup with reduced-price vegetables to take to work for lunch...I do spend some money on other 'fun' hobbies as well as pay off a bit of my mortgage - I told a few people at work that I'd paid a bit off my mortgage balance with my bonus, while their payments barely dented their debts - and then they have the cheek to wonder how I can afford to!

These are only work colleagues anyway - all of my friends are of a similar mindset...non-flashy lifestyle, careful with cash but have fun whilst living below their means; in fact I think I've been subconsciously learning from them (they don't preach about it, they just get on with things) as I observe and learn, I'm getting more and more frugal and more and more MFW every day :rotfl:

Shineyhappy

I am one of the few people in my circle of friends to even own my own home.

They think I am pretty insane to want to be a home owner and not !!!!!! off to Africa on a gap year.

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted my own place and now I kind of have that, I want it paid off asap.

It is that time of year where people are talking about holidays and like alot of people, I have not had the most encouraging of responses when I tell them I would rather pay off a chunk of the mortgage paid. I think a lot of people now see debt as a normal part of life. I dont want to be paying interest to a bank and I dont want to make a land lord richer and pay off their buy-to-let mortgage.

I try not to talk to a lot of my friends about money as I just see their spending as exceedingly worrying and they see me as boring! A colleague with his own home spends four pounds a day on lunch!!! On a yearly basis that is a lot of money!

I hope I am not obsessed with money but I feel twenty pounds a week on sandwiches is insane, but he thinks I am tight always bringing in home made lunches.

I gave up newspapers for lent and I realised I really didnt miss them and I felt better not having a re cycling bin full of waste paper, so now those have gone and the money now goes in my mortgage pig. However this is the first time I have admitted my shameful secret.

eilidh_s

I only have a decision in principal but I am already desparate to be MF. My pal is still a student after 6 years and with a lot of help from her parents she never had to work during her uni days but she was all for the money-managment and she saved every penny. She even went so far as sitting in borders book shop reading the books so that she didn't have to actually buy them, when we meet up for lunch we have a picnic and she loves charity shops! She is the only one of my friends who can understand why i would want to be MF as soon as is humanly possible. I am lucky in that i earn a pretty decent wage that can only go up but i empty my wallet of its pennies every night and i am saving a fortune that way, i amn't frugal and i don't deny myself anything but i don't spend any money that i dont have to so it can all be poured back into my mortgage.