Lasting power of attorney

Mojisola

freda11 wrote: »

I am still angry at my mother for not visiting him in the home, she is a bloody hard woman but this has surpassed everything! having to tell a dying man that his wife refuses to visit is the worse thing I have ever had to do.

He wanted to go return home and die at home but she refused to allow him home thats why he stayed in the nursing home. When he was at home prior to going into care he had carers popping in 4 times a day, she then even refused to make him a cup of tea or a sandwich, because it was the carers job!!!!!

She makes me mad! This guy has been in my life 30 years and I love him more than my own mother! Says it all really.

It must be so hard to keep a clear head with all the financial stuff when you're also coping with this.

It's good that you and your step-father have each other.

I can't imagine behaving like your mother has done. I don't know whether I'd be able to keep doing things for her when she wouldn't even make a cup of tea for her husband!

freda11

It is hard believe me, sometimes I feel like walking away when dad dies and her finances are in order I will not be seeing her as much. I always remember popping round and she had just put her tea out and left his in the oven for the carers to give him when they arrived. I was fuming, so plated it up for him and gave it him. I will never forgive her for that if he had been such a bad husband over the years as she now likes to make out then why did she stay with him???

Savvy_Sue

Someone suggested StepDad making a codicil to his will, but if GP has said he can't manage his own affairs then I'd say (and the OP seems to agree) that he is not in a position to do this without it being open to challenge.

rpc

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Someone suggested StepDad making a codicil to his will, but if GP has said he can't manage his own affairs then I'd say (and the OP seems to agree) that he is not in a position to do this without it being open to challenge.

It would be more than just open to challenge! If the LPA has been registered because stepdad has lost mental capacity then a codicil would be invalid and overturned by any court that looked at it.

The will now is the will that he will die with and that OP and mother will have to execute. I think that is going to be very tough as the mother will be able to go into banks and withdraw stepdads money. I would be tempted to try and manouver mum into permitting a solicitor to deal with the estate to avoid a family battle and to make sure the will is executed as it is written.

Jaimewilder

How do I create a new post please

freda11 wrote: »

I have LPA for my stepfather who is dying. This and his Will was drawn up via his solicitor. Briefly mum married stepdad 30 years ago, by all accounts it was not a happy marriage. Dad already owned the house they have lived in now all their married life and had quite a bit of money (still has) mum went into the marriage with nothing but 6 grown up kids. Non of these kids ever lived with them. They had no kids together. Stepdad has a grown up daughter but they have not spoken for at least 20 years. My stepdad has made be LPA as according to him I am the only one he can trust, he has already been ripped off twice by mum and 2 of her kids in the past for a lot of money. It was this reason that he would never put the house or any bank accounts apart from one in joint names. He is now in the final stages of brain cancer. I have now received the report from the gp stating that dad can no longer manage his affairs and so the LPA has now kicked in. I have 3 siblings in Australia and they keep phning mum to say for her to transfer all his money over to her. I jeep telling her this cant be done as I have LPA. I am also the full benefactor of his Will, including all monies and the property with the proviso mum is allowed to stay in the house until she dies. The Will was done about a year ago, well before he got taken ill. He refused to leave mum money as he did not want my siblings to get their hands on it. These siblings are now spouting off that I will leave mum destitute and I should hand the house and money over to her. My poor stepdad is not even dead yet and they are rearing their ugly heads and causing trouble. No way would I or could I do this, the whole reason for stepdad leaving it to me was because he knew he could trust me to do the proper thing by my mum. At one point stepdad wanted to leave it all to the donkey sanctury just so he would no that the others could not get a penny. Now the LPA is registered and signed off by dads doctor can I now transfer the money into a separate account in my name and transfer the property into my name? Either by myself or via the solicitor. I do not trust these siblings and my mum is getting a nuisance by spouting things off which I no have come from them not her. I just want mums last years on earth to be comfy warm and secure. There are about 4 bank/building society accounts in his name. Thanks for any advice

Tuesday_Tenor

rpc wrote: »

The will now is the will that he will die with and that OP and mother will have to execute. .... .... I would be tempted to try and manouver mum into permitting a solicitor to deal with the estate to avoid a family battle and to make sure the will is executed as it is written.

For most wills, in most circumstances, I would normally be the last person to say involve a solicitor.

In your case I think you would be well-advised to instruct a solicitor to do it, to avoid any challenges and hassle from other family members.

It will cost a little but
(a) the will sounds straightforward if it is just
- (i) mother life-interest in the house, then to you
- (ii) joint account to mother as survivor
- (iii) pensions to sort out, mother as beneficiary
- (iv) everything else to you; no other beneficiaries at all.
(b) having been PoA you will have your StepDad's affairs in order to start with
(c) so solicitor's bill can be minimised
and
(d) as you are the only beneficiary of any cash, then there is no one else to be concerned about the solicitors costs. For yourself, I think it would be money well spent.

Tuesday_Tenor

rpc wrote: »

The will now is the will that he will die with and that OP and mother will have to execute. I think that is going to be very tough as the mother will be able to go into banks and withdraw stepdads money.

When administering the estate there will need to be an Executors account and when this is set up you must ensure that your mother cannot act alone to write cheques or make transfers. If she has such access she might move monies anywhere! This would be wrong and you will legally be able to get it back, but it will be so much hassle, and probably expense, to do so once it has been done.

Ideally get the solicitor to administer all funds, with neither your mother nor yourself as signatories. (See my previous post).

If mother won't agree to use of solicitor, and you are both Executors, you must insist that both of you are signatories. Mother then can't mis-direct funds. She could, of course, be a pain and refuse to distribute assets to yourself, as per the will. In this case you would be able to get her removed as Executor for failing in her duty as Exec.

All are difficult scenarios to contemplate, but best to have thought about such possibilities beforehand. I wish you the best of luck, and I am glad your Step-Dad has you.

Tuesday_Tenor

Scope for confusion her !!!!!!!!!!

jesmin45 wrote: »

I am also executor as well as my mother. Now the LPA has been registered ....... Its not so much my mother who is causing trouble its the siblings from overseas. If it was upto them all stepdads accounts would now be drained

It is Jesmin who says she is co-executor with her mother.

It reads as though she is the same person as OP, Freda.

OP, please could you confirm this, before we start muddying the waters by replying to someone else's post!

Tuesday_Tenor

For future support of your Mum after your Step-Dad passes:

(a) Sounds like you are a great praciitcal suppport already. Good for you, as she sounds like a very difficult woman to be fond of. (I found the situation with your Step-Dad so incredibly sad).

(b) The most important thing to get clear, and possibly drawn up legally during the administration process is who will be responsible, financially, for repairs, maintenance aand new furniture while she lives out her lifetime interest in the house. It sounds to me as though she will expect you to do so, and you will be happy to, so no problem. [Just be aware, though, that in some situations, maybe lasting over 30-50 years it would be the people who actually live in the house; hence important to make it clear]. You may want to 'ring-fence' some of your inheritance for this by pputting it into a separate account.

(c) Whether you subsidise her further would be entirely you own choice. Sounds like she is by no means destitute. With a house to live in, repairs taken care of [as in (b) above] and several income streams [govt pension, future private pesnion as widow, existing savings] you don't HAVE to feel obliged to do much more while she's living at home.

(d) Should you mother ever need to go into care, I'm sure, on the strength of inheriting the house in future, you'd financially support her to have the best choice of home. I'm sure that's the sort of thing your Step-Dad trusted you to handle better than your siblings. [It sounds like he now doesn't care that much about what happens to her (all very sad), but he knows that you do, and so he's enabling you to do so].

Best of luck with it all.

Tuesday_Tenor

Jaimewilder wrote: »

How do I create a new post please

On the 'Marriage, Relationships' and Families' Board, there's a 'New Thread' button, just below the initial list of the four Sub-Boards.