How do you split the bill?

cherrynicola

Saturnalia wrote: »

Owwch! I know friends are important, but surely steak-munching-wine-drinking friends don't let non-drinking-veggie friends pay through the nose?

They absolutely do! Although our friends are all lovely people, I just don't think it occurs to people how much more they are consuming, or how much more expensive their food and drink is than mine. I have been accused of ruining a lovely evening, being cheap, making things difficult, and creating unnecessary problems over and over again when I have asked for the bill to be worked out individually rather than split.

The general assumption is, that it will average out over time. If you are vegeterian, it doesn't! And especially if you are not a big drinker. I find that I typically subsidise others by paying up to 3 and a half times the cost of my meal. And I then have the stressful moment of deciding whether to say something about it. I really do appreciate those times when people recognise the situation and don't insist on going dutch!

cheerful

I have always had a low income so eating out is a bit of a treat for me. I used to wonder why my equal share of a bill always came to substantially more than the cost of my food. I always paid but it sometimes stopped me joining friends for a meal as I knew I would not be able to afford it. When I realised that the reason for this discrepancy was others eating meat whilst I am vegetarian I stopped paying equal shares immediately. It is out of principal that I do not eat meat or fish so it is obviously unacceptable for me to subsidise those who do eat meat or fish.

Everybody I have given this reason to has understood and been happy to accept it.

stevemcol

t

pinchingpenny wrote: »

I get so angry when people want to split the bill equally!
Some of my friends I know earn substantially more than I do but I don't see it as a topic to discuss as it can cause embarrassment on both sides.
So if I go out to eat and have a soft drink and the cheapest thing on the menu because I'm watching the pennies, I'm not happy if they expect me to subsidise their wine and steak. I would never ask that of someone else, I think it's really rude!

I'm one of those people who would probably make you angry. Believe me though, we don't do it to annoy you or get at your money. I sort of see splitting the bill as fair and trusting. I don't care if people eat a lot more than me. But I know from personal experience, not everyone at the table can afford the same. My advice to you would be to say at the start of the meal 'do you mind if I pay separately, I only want a small meal'. I've never known that request to cause offence or be declined. Don't leave the discussion until the bill arrives.
By the way, if I know we are splitting the bill, I tend to go cheaper on the menu because I don't like taking liberties. Not everyone has that attitude though I grant you.

slig

I'm another loser when it comes to splitting the bill, being a vegetarian with a small appetite as well as a light drinker. I once lost a fortune during a weeks holiday to Italy with friends; the others would have multiple courses and bottles on wine, I had a veggie main and a side and was mainly on soft drinks. Sometimes someone would point out that I shouldn't pay as much, but most of the time I subsidised everyone else's food. I'm slightly more assertive nowadays, but it's still an awkward and embarassing situation, and sometimes I'll say nothing because I don't want to look cheap in front of people I don't know very well - if it's with close friends or family it's fine.

I've learnt now that if I go for dinner with a large group of people I don't know very well that I should order the desert, as I'll be paying for it either way.

System

On the rare occasions i eat with friends we all calculate what our meal costs and pay that. Some of us are well paid, some of us are students and some of us aren't working atm so it's fairer that everyone pays what they can afford in their own budget. I wouldn't be happy paying for someone elses meal.

torbrex

I tend just to pay for everyone at the table (excluding alcohol) except where family is concerned then we tend to just divide the bill by the number of heads (again minus the alcohol)

Trazy

There was one woman, a relative of a friend, who came out for meals with us who always ordered 3 courses, the main usually consisting of lobster, steak or both. She also drank cocktails!! We split the bill evenly and were subsidising her greed.:mad:

We all wised up to this eventually and the last time she came out with us we all threw in the money for our meals and drinks. The tray was then passed to her to sort it out and add her own money. She was rather shocked when she had to pay in excess of £50, but it worked and she has never come out with us again:D:D

socks_uk

The last time I went on a work colleague's do when someone was leaving I wanted to go but it was at an Indian restaurant and I don't like anything off the menu. There was about 30 of us.
So, I shared poppadoms and mango chutney and had a prawn cocktail instead of a curry. They then split the bill and it cost me £10! I ended up paying a share for starters, curries and wine even though I don't drink!

AndyLandy

A work colleague once suggested to me the best way to handle this. If anyone is skint and can only afford to pay their due, they all chip in what they owe, then the rest split the rest between them. Works surprisingly well!

MrsE_2

slig wrote: »

, but it's still an awkward and embarassing situation, and sometimes I'll say nothing because I don't want to look cheap in front of people I don't know very well .

Isn't it odd that you would be thought of as cheap.

Shouldn't the people who want others to subsidise their food & drink be the "cheap" ones!!!