New diary for 2013: The year of keeping things simple

Ruby789

No one in my life, except my mum, understands that I can do the big things only by sacrificing the little things. I can no longer do both and stay in the black.

Its becoming a real issue. To suppliment the big things I'm hanging onto every penny of my disposable pocket money I can. Largely this means not going out if I can help it, or limiting it to once a week and skipping part of the night out (normally the dinner).

I can't keep saying I can't afford it, i'm bored of hearing myself say it. It's causing friction. I'm being a bit sneaky instead, have a stock of excuses why I can go, but will get there late enough that the night is effectively half price (missed getting stuck in a round, missed the food bit etc...). But these are now wearing thin too.

I feel like I'm turning down life and that I will one day regret all I missed out. Life is for living, the experiences and people make it worthwhile. I'm no longer buying 'stuff' and spending as little as I can get away with in other areas to suppliment a bit of 'living' and a bit of 'saving' and doing neither well.

Feeling very sorry for myself today.

jennikitten

Sorry to hear you're not doing too well today Ruby

Just read through your diary and quite a bit of sounds familiar to me...! Understand where you're coming from - I'm an all-or-nothing person too.

Is there anything you can do to earn more money? I know it's easier said than done but it seems like that would be a bit of pressure off the spending struggle and be a hobby/time replacement for doing things that cost money at the same time.

Have you thought of having a date budget between the two of you and then doing different things to what you would do normally? We find it works well to mix it up - surprise each other sometimes but also plan bigger things together too. Don't know about you but I'm a planner so if I know I've got something to look forward to then it generally makes me less frustrated (and demanding!) because I don't feel like I'm going without.

I'm not judging or anything but I'm curious as to why you're building up savings rather than paying the debt off first? I know some people find it a psychological benefit.

Chin up hunny, and tomorrow will be a better day

Ruby789

Hi Jenni,

Thanks for replying

Unfortunately no opportunity for earning extra money at the moment, floated the idea of a weekend job to the boyfriend, who wasn't impressed with the idea at all.

A date budget is a great idea though. He will happily spend his own money on me, but if we pool our resources then he's budgeting with me and might start to understand how finite the resources are. He gets in an annual bonus what I will take a year to save (being tight), which is why I seem to have so much less money than him despite our earnings being similar. I get why it makes no sense to him that things are so bad for me, but having savings is important to me. Had to happen eventually.

Ahh yes, the debt. The remaining debt is on 0%, and, as I can cite being in debt as a reason to not be spending as much as I used to, it's helping me over this adjustment period. Think without the debt excuse, I'd be having a harder time justifying my thriftiness.

You'd think I was making toast by candle-light kind of tight for the friction it's causing. :rotfl:I'm only saying no to expensive nights out, pushing home cooked over take away, and declining weekends away (we've still having proper holidays, just not lots of mini-breaks on top).

Ruby789

Just found out there is a mistake on my credit file ...... after being declined for credit . I did think it was odd Lloyds wouldn't give me a current account, but I assumed that it was as I had a current account already and wasn't open to switching the whole thing over. You really do need to check these things! Using Noddle, think I might wait and get the £2 one in September, just to make sure there are no other nasties lurking.

Trying to get it fixed now, but it could take over a month. The branch said they would pass it on to the right team to deal with. I'm sure they will, but wonder if I should have sent a letter instead of using theur internal memo system ....

Barely slept for worrying about it! Imagined the worst, naturally. At 3am this morning, I was never going to be able to get a mortgage, ever.

Anyways, nothing to be done now. Will keep checking it and hoping for the best.

Ruby789

It makes no sense at all, but life was somehow easier when I was in debt. I worried far, far less than I do now, and I was happier. Weird but true.

Just did some calcualtions and it will take me an age to save a house deposit. It was easy to maintain a negative balance of 3-4k. I never had to think about it, it was easy just to bumble along. Now, in doing the reverse and trying to save its a long hard slog! It will take 3-4 years to save £15k. And that's years of dillegence and coupons, and staying in, and avoiding nights out, and issues with loved ones. Logically I know that it's not unfair, but I still feel hard done by.

I'm struggling with how much I have cut back so far. And doing this for years and years and years seems so hard. But this is how it should be and it should never have been easy to be in debt. It should have been those years that I worried. Just goes to show the mentality chnage that is still needed.

Issues with loved ones: not being on the same financial page, compromising, money guilt and all that comes with it. There are almost daily financial niggles. I feel bad for taking 50% of the treats / date stuff when I contribute only 30% to them. But, I want to cut down and he insists on that lifestyle, so he picks up the shortfall. But I feel guilty, as i'm living above what i'm paying for. It's small things, like take-aways, expensive for no reason dinners, extra nights away just so we don't have to get up early. And it's silly that it's bothering me. He's being generous and lovely and I'm almost resentful as I have to find ways to return his generosity and none of the free things seem enough as he does the free stuff too.

Think I must be wired wrong. I should have no complaints right now.

Ruby789

I find it most difficult to stay MSE in between pay days. On pay day I get to record new numbers and feel good. Every other day I just see each of my little pots dribbling out the cash that they were designed for. So in reality, i'm not actively doing anything.

I have turned things round and that's great and all, but saving is not the same as paying off something. It feels so passive. It also happens on payday automatically.


I have projected my savings over the next 5 years, and I'm not going to be even close to the position I want to be. I will be in a better position than I am now, but It's not going to open the doors I want to open.


No amount of thinking is going to credit my account with the monies I want at the timescale I feel I deserve.


I am so behind in life and it's seriously depressing me.

Ruby789

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 0

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1726.14
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1726.14

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 547
Management charge (leasehold property).. 3
Council tax............................. 46.27
Electricity............................. 14.21
Gas..................................... 22.35
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 8.25
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 10
TV Licence.............................. 4.04
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 6.11
Internet Services....................... 6.11
Groceries etc. ......................... 70
Clothing................................ 30
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 10
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 25
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 100
Haircuts................................ 10
Entertainment........................... 216.67
Holiday................................. 190
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Frivilous fund.......................... 30
Personal Care (toiletries, waxing etc..) 25
Total monthly expenses.................. 1374.01


Assets
Cash.................................... 2450
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 2450

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Credit card....................1030.14...70........0
Bank of mum and dad............225.......25........0
Total unsecured debts..........1255.14...95........-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,726.14
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,374.01
Available for debt repayments........... 352.13
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 95
Amount left after debt repayments....... 257.13

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 2,450
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -1,255.14
Net Assets.............................. 1,194.86

Created using the SOA calculator at https://www.stoozing.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using IE browser.

Ruby789

In black and white and shared with the world this really doesn't seem like a very frugal budget at all.

Thinking ....

Ruby789

Bills account: Last year was £7 more expensive per month than I predicted so I need to revise this budget up. As some bills are monthly, quarterly etc... there is also a bit of a cashflow problem where I think I will be short for two months of the year, but end up in credit at the end. Annoying.

Clothes account: £30 pm. Leaving this as is. More generous than most I see on here, but I will need a pair of trainers, a winter coat, 6 pairs of pumps a year (at least), numerous tights and a new frock every now and then.

Personal care: £60 pm. Again, more generous than most but I feel limited by it already. Need contacts and solution, must see the dentist soon and who knows what that will cost (gulp!) and normal grooming stuff needs to be done.

Groceries and household: £70 pm. Reduced from last year only as I needed to find more money for my holiday fund.

Spending: £216 pm. Reduced from last year, again to stuff the holiday fund.

Holiday fund: £190 pm. Increased.

Presents: £100 pm. Increased mid-way through last year. Must start looking at surveys etc.... and buy back some of this cash. Seems like loads but is never enough. Family is full of adults.

Frivolous fund: £30 pm. Has become more of a buffer than anything else. This month the money is topping up my weekend away, the one before it was for interest on my overdraft (work expenses came in late), and the one before that my contribution to a welcome dinner.

Ruby789

How to get through the bank holiday without spending a penny .... Not going to happen is it :rotfl:I have £23 of this weeks money left and three days to avoid people and all things that cost money. Inevitably I'll be back here Tuesday complaining.

I am trying I really am!