New diary for 2013: The year of keeping things simple

Ruby789

Was thinking long and hard last night about my life, and I think it's time to make some serious changes. I have an all or nothing mentality that constantly trips me up. I can lose weight, but only when it's the main focus of my life. I can save money, but only when it's the main focus of my life. I can keep a spotless organised home, but only when it's the main focus of my life .... and on and on for absoutley everything from work, friendships, relationships ..... I just can't seem to find any sort of balance.

So really, even when i'm doing well in one area of my life, it's actually not a good thing because it is effectively at the detriment of all other areas of my life. Eventually there will be a new crisis in another area to deal with and the focus will move off that one thing and onto another, and then the other area will start to decline.

Not sure what I need to do about this .... i'm well intentioned, i'm good at planning and know what needs doing, but I set myself up to fail.

Pondering

Am I addicted to stress?????

icontinuetodream

Ruby789 wrote: »

Was thinking long and hard last night about my life, and I think it's time to make some serious changes. I have an all or nothing mentality that constantly trips me up. I can lose weight, but only when it's the main focus of my life. I can save money, but only when it's the main focus of my life. I can keep a spotless organised home, but only when it's the main focus of my life ....

I could have written this about myself!!!

Don't be so hard on yourself Ruby, the reality is, changing your mindset is a process... I have fallen off the wagon on so many occasions I have to wear full body protection now!! :rotfl:

I have spent years having the same battle and even now, I fail frequently....the difference now is that I recognise it and get back on the wagon rather than deny it and feel that the entire thing is pointless

By doing it this way, I have managed to knock a third off my mortgage over the past few years, get down from thirteen debts to four, have a reasonable emergency fund and have some work done on my kitchen...I was in a staggering amount of debt but by accepting my failures, learning from them (and having less serious ones as I have progressed) has brought me to a position where I will be entirely debt and mortgage free within the next four years

It is about balance in the end....finding it is difficult as trying to get to a goal as quickly as possible means that you push yourself so hard that you become resentful of it taking over your life....I don't have any real words of wisdom to offer on how to alter that - for me, it has just been a case of trying to set myself more realistic goals and not feeling like a failure when I stray from the path!!

Good luck with it all....I will follow your progress

Ruby789

icontinuetodream wrote: »

I could have written this about myself!!!

I don't have any real words of wisdom to offer on how to alter that - for me, it has just been a case of trying to set myself more realistic goals and not feeling like a failure when I stray from the path!!

Thanks icontinuetodream

I am glad I'm not alone. Think you're are right, I suppose I make my goals rather all encompassing, I can't just lose weight by eating less and moving more, it has to be counting calories and doing a certain number of steps a day and balancing macro nutrients and making everything from scratch etc... not bad things at all in and of themselves, but yes, they will take up a daily chunk of time.

Not sure if this is a good idea or not, but I was thinking of having two 20 minute periods a day which are dedicated to an activity across the whole spectrum of my life. Obviously won't be the only time in a week where I do any of these things, but maybe will build a routine of doing something each week. For example:

Sun: 20 mins personal admin. 20 mins meal planning.
Mon: 20 mins planning work week. 20 mins personal finances.
Tue: 20 mins sorting bedroom. 20 mins meditation.
Wed: 20 mins call a friend. 20 mins tidy office.
Thu: 20 mins home cleaning. 20 mins call family.
Fri: 20 mins personal development. 20 mins closing down work week.
Sat: 20 mins beauty maintenance. 20 mins focus on relationship.

Need to work on these a bit more, but the general gist is there. Perhaps things won't slip so badly if I do this, and 20 mins is manageable. Will try it for a fortnight and see.

Ruby789

Worked out where my money goes as a percentage of earnings, and:

45% on rent, bills, food and travel
15% on savings
15% on spending / pocket money
6% on debt repayment
6% on holiday
6% on presents for all the usual occasions
5% on clothes and personal care
2% on frivolous

Will search the forum and see if there are figures I can compare these to.

The two % "frivolous fund" is intended to mop up the inevitable slips or things that don't fit into any of the above.

Other than that, my rent is a massive drain on my resources, at 32%.

My holidays are expensive, and actually the budget doesn't cover chunks of spending, like spending money, this I siphon off my pocket money in the run up to going away. Maybe I should up my holiday fund contributions .....

I also seem to spend a fair amount on gifts which surprises me, I don't feel overly generous. Nothing to compare this to so I really don't know if it is or not.

Food for thought anyway.

Ruby789

Feeling rather more positive today. I am doing my best and I can't change what I did in the past so I just have to let it go.

My latest hobby is cooking, in that I'm trying to learn how to cook. I have a huge list of recipes I want to try out, and I'm finding that I'm really enjoying the process. The results less so though! I made the mushroom chasseur (from a girl called jack website) and wasn't thrilled. I don't know if I used the wrong kind of wine or too many herbs, but wouldn't make it again. The problem with new dishes is that you don't know if you made it badly, or if that's what it's supposed to taste like and you just don't like the taste.

But oh well, when money is less tight I can eat out more often and compare my home cooking to something professional. Or even try the odd ready meal along the way so I know what I'm aiming for. My family were not foody at all, there are so many things I've not even tried.

Have picked the 8 dishes I will make this month (my new month starts on payday next week), and written my list of ingredients so I can cook them based on what I can get cheapest each week, or YS.

Weirdly excited. Even in the heat I was diligently making tomato sauce last night. It came out perfectly edible and veering on nice, but isn't like the sauce i'm trying to copy which is a shame. That one is a thick deep red, mine is a rather light color. At least I can eat what I made I suppose.

Ruby789

Starting to get ever so slightly stressed out about money and all that goes with it.

Long story short, my boyfriend is finding my new found frugality rather irritiating. He thinks my salary is enough that I shouldn't need to be soooooo tight. He's a great guy and is not being unsupportive or mean when he says that. In fact, I know where he is coming from.

But it has hit me like a tonne of bricks in recent months, I have nothing, no savings, no assets and some debts. I feel so very behind in life and now money is front and centre of all decisions. It's this mentality that bothers him, the new significance I've placed on money.

I'm not even really being that frugal in reality so lightening up won't solve either problem. For example, I'm still having a second holiday this year, the only dofference is that I'm not putting any of it on credit and scrimping now so I can pay upfront.

I was going on and on a bit when I had my LBM, then went off the rails a bit (which he would have seen as a return to normalcy), and then I was back on it when I had a second LBM very recently.

I can make an effort not to mention it but I still need to run my decisions through the money filter.

Never simple is it.

Ruby789

Have only just realised that I had my LBM a year ago! It was in June last year that credit ran out and I realised I was in a bad place. It was July pay day where I started to take control of my finances.

I did a quick tally and I'm really impressed with myself. I have made good progress in the last 12 months, and would have done even better had I not had those two big slip ups. But hey, I'm human and in debt because I'm an emotional spender.

Well chuffed actually.

Motivation is now returned. It is totally worth it.

Need to set some financial goals for the next 12 months. Definately helps keep me on track.

Ruby789

Post for Financial Goals July 2013 - June 2014

1. Be completely out of debt by June 2014.
2. Grow savings pot in the same period, ambitious aim 5k, realistic aim 3.5k.

To achieve this I need to make sure I remove some of the margin for error from my accounting. Holidays always trip me up, so I'm upping my contributions to cover 90% of what I expect to spend. They cover about 65% at the moment and rely on me diligently siphoning off money in the run up. Which is fine, you should expect to say no to a few things leading up to a luxury, but leaves me open to 'oops' moments. The 10% I think should come out of my spending money in the run up, to keep that mentality of earning my treats.
Humm, well it seems its too late to change my SO's before payday, so will do some messing about when I get paid to put the money in the right pots. Must remember to do this.

And was thinking about my whinge from yesterday about boyf not liking me being tight. Thing is, he gets paid a little more (not enough to be significant) but has less total outgoings. And he gets in a lump sum a bonus equal to the amount it will take me a year of being tight to save. That's the difference. He was on less than me a year ago and I was the one annoyed we didn't go out much. We just need to be really honest about our budgets and i'm sure we'll get through this.

Ruby789

Having to post daily at the moment, just to keep myself a bit more focussed. I'm itching to do something wasteful. I do not need more stuff, I repeat, I do not need more stuff! I'm struggling with space at home as it is!

Today I'm stressy which is normally when I do something unhelpful. Got to keep an eye on me!

Have already made my excuses about not going out for dinner tonight as i'm down to my last £23 and it's nowhere near the weekend yet! Slightly concerned that I have £9 of this weeks money unaccounted for.

Reduced my pocket money to £50 from now on. Sounds like loads but i'm finding it hard at 60 some weeks. Need to keep a note of where this goes ....

Every change I make I'm looking at as a saving over a decade, so £10 per week less = £5200 saved in a decade.

Ruby789

Oopsies, thought I was being pretty good so far this month, but I have just checked and I have only £30 food money left to last 20 days!

I really don't know where I spent £50 on food in the last 10 days! Yep, madness!

Must keep my eye constantly on the ball, its the only way!

Hoping to find 10 days worth of food in the house (I must have bought something with that 50, though what I bought escapes me right now). Then 10 days on £30 is easily do-able (and should have some change).

Change jar has £27 in :-)