worried about a teenager

bltchef

Hi Iam a single father of two teenagers 15 13 they mum has metal health problems and drink problems I am not the father of them ether but ido look as they are my own I have had problem with the oldest in the past copying her mum got her straight now the 13 has start with drink and my be drugs ? They was fight this morning he told me to f***k off and I ground him he trashed the house like his sister use to and they mum and now he was run away god do I feel bad any ideas what to do next?

EthelBloggs

are you with the mum? do you have parental responsibility?

how long has he been gone?

and big huggs to you for looking after them

bltchef

no i am not with mam she was not responsibl her Her behaver was a danger to herself and the kids the yes i do parental responsibility

EthelBloggs

depending how streetwise he is and how long he's been missing i would report it to the police sooner rather than later.

Although, if he's anything like mine, he'll come home when he's hungry
I think they report it to social services automatically but if not then I would contact them direct in the morning and ask for some support. Also see your gp for a referral to the local Child and Adolescent Mental Health Team (CAHMS) they should give you a family therapist to help with the drinking and behavioural issues.

What are they like at school? are they having problems there too? could be worth speaking to the educational welfare officer too. Hope some of that helps at least a little bit.

Try not to worry, he'll turn up soon enough and I'm speaking from experience here

RoCas

Can't add anything to the brilliant advice above, bltchef but just wanted to give you my support. I'm sure he'll roll back home when he feels he's worried you enough ... let us know.

(((((Hugs)))))

bltchef

thank we have been to CAHMS yea we do have problems at school with him 2or 3 after school detations a week if have just heard he is at school friends hetheybsay the will come home tomorrow after school

nats3006

they know where their bread is buttered in the end!! maybe you should have a sit down and a talk with him see how far you get can only try no harm in it!!
good luck and well done!

EthelBloggs

hiya bltchef.. glad he's turned up safe n sound

maybe you could show him this thread as a way of letting him know how much you care about him?

Hope things turn out well in future.. they're lucky to have someone like you to care and look after them

Mandles

Prepare for a long ride. This behaviour may go on for a while as seeing mum like it may make kids like it especially if using drugs which i know from experience will really effect the mood & aggresion of a teenager.
Maybe go to doctor and ask if there is any councelling he can have . Also im guilty of it too but are you personally or mum able to spend quality time with him? Maybe a nice walk, camping, fishing, doing up car or some project with him? This really could be invaluable.
My bro went through this as he needed one to one as our awful father and he needed to feel loved and needed attention. My bro had a lovely loving kind nature but went like yours, drugs(aggressive behaviour because of this), language, running away often, smoking , glue sniffing and sadly died not very long ago due to drugs despite trying to get himself straight. I wish someone could have done the stuff i have suggested earlier .
So i wish you all the best. He needs restrictions but he needs stability and one to one attention and maybe councelling because of mum.You sound like a great parent and i have seen another kid similar to my brother really turn his life around when he got this attention and now has got into doing up cars for stock car racing and really has found his interest and loves it and is a happy, balanced 20 year old.
Your son will be back as most runaways come back and tell him off but have a one to one talk with him and get your quality time sorted with him and do it regularly. Its nice to see how much you care.