help with divorce petition?

homealone_2

i have just received a divorce petition from ex. he is stating break dwn of marriage fair enough, but he has stated seperated for at least years when in fact it is 4. tried to call solicitor he is using to say so but couldnt get past her secretary who wouldnt let me say one word as conflict of interest. tried to email but no reply there either. have other questions but not in position to pay a solicitor. he is down as unemployed which i am sure as why he is trying to do this now, as he was married before me where there were chidren involved where he was crucified with charges for years which i mug as i am helped to pay off. no children involved this time thank god. just want to know where i stand really. is he allowed to say 5 years and how woulld i prove it? i applied for benefits as he left me high and dry but would that be considered as proof?

RAS

Hi

You need to correct the first sentence.

If he is lying, you need to tell him so. WRITE to the court if you do not have his address.

He can of course divorce on the bais of 2 years separation if you agree to it.

Bossyboots

No he can't claim 5 years if it is only 4. If it less than five but more than two then as said, he could use those grounds provided you agreed to it. Using five years means he can progress the divorce without your agreement.

As far as his solicitors are concerned, they were wrong not to speak to you. You are currently a litigant in person and therefore you have a right to be able to have input into what is happening. However, I would anyway suggest that you actually put any communication with them in writing, starting with informing them that he cannot divorce on the grounds stated as this has not yet occurred! If you agree to the divorce, ask them to present a petition based on two years separation.

Why not put your other questions on here to see if people can help, or PM me if you don't want to make them as public as the forum.

Teeniepops

As said by RAS, you can petition stating 2years or more living apart - this has the benefit of not needing a reason/stating grounds if I am correct (which saves upset).

It may be a mistake in saying 5 and not 4 (I think this is the case) - trust me, solicitors make typos like the rest of us, though it would benefit him to say 5 as it means he can act without your input.

You don't need a solicitor if you don't want to contest the divorce. If you are childless there may be little to do to settle finances if you don't have a house you own. If you do, that needs to be considered which may benefit you to hire a solicitor.

You can apply for legal aid if you're unemployed or earn small salary. Google for advice on a dedicated divorce site.

You can also request mediation with him to discuss matters if you need to (I.e. finances) - sometimes the court want to see this attempted but it deemds on the case.

All I'd say is don't see red when you see things arriving in post. It's all clinical and can lead to upset easily. Also...solicitors takes AGES to reply.

Email saying you have no solicitor and wish to discuss the error.

Good luck

homealone_2

thanks for your replies, when the red mist finally disappeared i was able to read exactly what was sent to me. at present he has issued papers with the court on the 5 year rule which i stated already but on one of the pages he has ticked all the boxes regarding me giving lump sum order, maintenance payments, periodical payments and on and on. thankfully we have no children but he also wants me to pay for divorces too. i have also now seen the paperwork was dated 2 days after my mum had died and fail to see it as a coincidence as he knew my mum had squirreled away a few thousand over the years that her being too trusting got from all the hiding places around the house that she gave my ex to count when my step dad died and she no longer needed to hide it. obviously i didnt see this coming and so didnt worry about getting receipts for everything i have spent money on since my mum leaving me sole executor. i have to complete this notice of my proceedings and i just dont know what to put whether i want to defend the case or not as it asks me if i object to paying the cost of proceedings and if i do on what grounds???? i have been sick with worry since this has arrived. i will need to go back on the promise of financial help i offered my daughter at uni thats just for starters as well as llts of spoken promises. who could i contact fotr the quickest advice as i cant wait for a week for an appointment some where as i need to send this form off asap

NAR

homealone he has petitioned for divorce so you should not be paying for it? However I fear you are correct with regard to the timing, especially as he is unemployed. He will be seeking through the financial consent order that your inheritance is included in the marital finances to be divided. I would advise that you do get a good divorce solicitor if your inheritance is a considerable sum. You could then reply that you have put this in the hands of ABC Solicitors, who will be acting on your behalf and who will reply in due course.

kayl

Just to correct the previous poster - inheritance after the date of separation will NOT be taken account of in any financial award, (although it seems that the ex is not asking for one in any event)

rpc

kayl wrote: »

Just to correct the previous poster - inheritance after the date of separation will NOT be taken account of in any financial award, (although it seems that the ex is not asking for one in any event)

Just to correct the previous poster - it can be. That is why getting a clean break order is so important because it means that the ex has no further call on your finances.

NAR

100% agree rpc, this happened to a friend of mine.

homealone_2

again thanks everyone. the amount is £14387.52 to be exact. i also have about £5k in shares that were bought many moons ago the bg ones and centrica, lust the basic amount you could buy at the time. which i will be dammed if i sell or dammed if i dont. would like to say they have nothing to do with him as bought so many years previous, but am bound to be wrong on that point also, he is probably entitled to them too. the whole thing just seems to be so unfair. when i met him i had a good job in housing with a few shares £10k in an isa and rainy day money under the bed. he arrived here with a carrier bag holding a change of clothes and a small suitcase full of red bills, unpaid solicitor bills from his previous divorce 4 years prior to another ex who helped ring up loans and credit cards and all sorts. he walked out on me with £38 thousand pounds worth of debt with only £3,500 in his name. the rest in mine. at this time he was working earning a good salary a new car and moved back to a huge 4 bed house with which she loved having her baby home. like an idiot i taught him everything i knew and boy did he learn but not to do good like i showed him like to check out apr which he never did before. he was the sort who saw one of those you have won £20,000 you just need to ring a certain number without checking that the call rate was £3.50 a minute. am hoping this little (lot) may give someone an insight of what i am up against. i spent day working out how much money has come through my hands which have stated above and how much of that i can account for which is £ this takes me out of the qualify for legal aid so checking through some of the free advice websites who vary quite a lot in what my next move should be and i am getting very worried that i need to get moving to complete the acknowledgment and get it posted but i dont know what to do which i what i need the most help with. i am underlying this bit in case you nodded off for a bit while i waffle a very bad habit i have but i cant get out of the habit of needing to set the scene. so as i was saying its the acknowledgement bit numbered 4. do you intend to defend the case???? i dont know, am i???? the fact we have only been seperated 4 years and not the 5 he has stated. is it worth defending on these grounds or just letting it go? and then number 5. will i be defending in case of causing me grave financial hardship? well dont see how how that would i apply to me, but happy if smeone can tell me different??? then mumber 6 if i am doing this in the event of it being 5 years as grounds do i want the courts to consider my financial circumstances? well another one i am not sure is applicable to me as he is the one filing the petition and here is the biggie number 7 whether i defend or not do i object to paying the costs of the proceedings and if not? why not? this is the one i find the hardest to fill in. help greatly appreciated

LannieDuck

This is complicated. I think you really need to get a solicitor, at least for initial advice. How you proceed will depend on:

* What assets were brought into the marriage
* Which assets/debts were accrued during the marriage
* What agreements you had upon separation (if any), legally binding or otherwise
* Which assets/debts were accrued after the date of separation and prior to the divorce petition
* Exactly what he's asking for

Someone needs to give you advice about what (if anything) he's likely to be entitled to claim for at each step of your marriage. Add it up and compare it to what he's actually claiming for. That's the only way you'l lproperly be able to decide whether to defend the claim (although I would have thought it was almost always in your interest to do so).