Considering reconciling with ex - how will it affect me?

Cupofcoffee

Hi, I'm after some advice as not really sure what I'm getting myself into here.

Split with ex fiance in February 2011, before we split we were living together with our child and claiming tax credits jointly. When we split I took our Son and went to live with my Mum & Sister, I then began claiming WTC & CTC as a single person (no other benefits)

Ex pays maintenance as and when he's got it, he's self employed and by the time he's taken care of his mortgage/bills/food he sometimes doesn't have anything left over. I'm also self employed, earn about £4000 per year, I work 2 days and our 3 year old is in private nursery. He'll start school in September 2014. Ex doesn't claim any benefits, even if he's entitled he just won't, it was hard work even doing a joint claim when we were together.

Ex is a great dad and has made a lot of changes since we split, he is begging me to come back to him. I want to, but I'm really apprehensive, I want to believe he has completely changed, but deep down I feel we'll be ok for about 6 months and then it'll all start again and I'll have no choice but to leave & return to my Mum and Sister.

What I want to know is if I do go back to him, is it pretty easy to set up a joint claim again? He is very strange & has nothing to do with tax credits etc.. It would have to be me that set it all up. What if it does go wrong after a few months & I end up back at Mum's? Is it going to be a load of hassle going back to claiming as a single person, especially if universal credit has come into play by then? I know if I left him, he would definitely not want to continue claiming anything by himself (he done this last time we split, even though I think he's entitled) Would this be possible under UC?

Thanks on advance.

gingergee

To go from a single to joint claim will mean closing your current claim and starting a new one with your ex/partner. This will mean you won't receive any tax credits at all for a month or three (am not joking either). If you then split up again it will be a simple change of circumstances rather than new claim. It's easier to change from a couple to a couple. I'd try dating him for a while, saving up as you go. Then if it works out you will have money set aside for the time you are without tc.

swingaloo

And they say romance is dead!
If the only thing you are concerned about is how getting back together will affect your benefits then he is clearly not the man for you.

Gentile

So your relationship broke down and you are left to sort yourself out, fella is tempting you back, the main worry for you is your entitlement to benefits ? Get your priorities right. You havent even gotten back together and you feel it might all kick off again in 6 months. How sad ! And how incredible that the benefit system is messing with the minds of people and their relationships.

HeadAboveWater

Exactly as the above 2 posters say. You're thinking about going back with your ex, but before you do commit, you're thinking even further ahead to the time when you will break up again?!?

Cupofcoffee

Thank you gingergee.

For the others that replied, I'm being cautious. You know nothing of my relationship, I don't know we will break up again, I would love nothing more than for him to have changed and for us to stay together but I can't guarantee it, so what I wanted to know was how it would all work under UC etc.. Am I covered if we split again? Would I be able to claim as a single person for CTC/UC without too much hassle, I have to think of these things for my child as I can't work more hours to provide a better future for us until he starts school.

HeadAboveWater

Can I just ask if you're intending to 'date' your ex again for a while or just move straight back in together?

DuckEggGingham

Maybe think about how all this to'ing and fro'ing is affecting your son before you start worrying how its affecting your benefits. Priorities.

lukieboy96

You are thinking about getting back with your Ex but you want to know how it will affect your benefits! True love never died!!

Tiddlywinks

You either want to make a go of your relationship or you don't - get back together again or don't - your choices... BUT if you are basing that decision on how it will change your entitlements to benefits then you have your priorities all wrong.

What is best for your child for instance - isn't that more important than how much you may or may not be able to claim?

dseventy

~~ All sing along ~~

#

Love is in the air
Everywhere I look around
Love is in the air
Every sight and every sound And I don't know if I'm being foolish
Don't know if I'm being wise
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when I look in your eyes #

Anyway.

What you need to look at is that

1) Running one household is less than running 2
2) Base your decisions on whats best for you and your children rather than benefits
3) You need a conversation about his entitlement to benefits that he wont claim. Whats that about? Any reconcilement will require him sitting down with you and going through forms that ask about income and hours. You need a conversation about this before you move in together.

D70