no childcare

Molly41

I used to work very long shifts and nights. I never left my kids alone at night but would leave secondary school age kids alone during the day. It does teach independence and they used to cook some very strange meal combinations and at Christmas I used to come home to Ginger bread and all sorts.

They had a hotline to Mum and I always answered the phone. In general it worked very well!

HalfPint

I have 4 kids, but only 3 to worry about for childcare as my step son lives with his mum(she won't use us for care if she can help it:rotfl:)

My eldest is 14, and has been left on her own both before and after school since she started senior school. She had also looked after her 11 yo brother for about 3 or 4 hours with no problems.

I still organise childcare for my 6 yo using a combination of asc/bc and friends. The local church here also run a free holiday club for the first week of the summer holidays which saves me a fortune! (I have no family locally, so I only ask my family as an absolute last resort.)

I am very lucky to be able to be very flexible with my hours, swapping things around for inset days etc that can't be covered by other means. I can also work from home when needed.

I guess it depends on the child but I believe if they are of senior school age, they should be able to look after themselves for a wee while on their own. I have started to leave my 14 yr old looking after the other 2 (11 & 6) for short periods of time (no more than an hour) and have had no problems (yet!)

Its quite a juggling act and I have to be very organised but it works for me.

HP x

WantToBeSE

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Yes. Due to the way that Polish schools work (children in the first six years of schools are unlikely to attend more than 20 hours a week) - it is absolutely normal for children from the age of 7 to be at home. There are after-school clubs available, but in general, these are only open to the first three years of primary school. School holidays are longer too - almost 2 months.

It would be seen as exceptionally strange if a 12 year old couldn't look after a 9 year old. The comment about "they would kill each other" is unbelievable to me - why wouldn't a 12 year old be mature and sensible enough to actually care for their younger sibling rather than fighting?

I believe the UK also has no laws against children being "home alone".

I think its great that they are taught that level of independence. I guess what stops a lot of people doing the same in this country (more so during term time) is the fact that other parents would be horrified, and most likely social services would get a call.

FBaby

WantToBeSE wrote: »

I think its great that they are taught that level of independence. I guess what stops a lot of people doing the same in this country (more so during term time) is the fact that other parents would be horrified, and most likely social services would get a call.

My daughter has been on her own in the morning for about an hour (having to get ready on her own for school) and an hour after she is back from school since she started secondary school (at 11) and hasn't once been late in 18 months or failed to text me to tell me she has left for school/come back home. Her tutor and others were aware of this from the start.

My DS who has just turned 10 has been coming home from school on the bus since last September (1/2 hour journey). As it happened, a school mate (1 year older) does the same journey most days, but when he doesn't my son is absolutely fine on his own.

I have thought long and hard about whether they were ready for this level of responsibility and would never ever have considered it unless I was perfectly confident that they could cope with it. As it happens, they are both very mature and responsible children. I did think about what othesr would think, especially the after school club my son used to go to who were well informed that he would be taking the bus on his own, but again, I was confident that I had weighted all circumstances. As it happened, the club manager did admit to me that she had felt a bit nervous when I first told her of my intentions but she has seen how well he copes (he still goes in the morning) and said that it is a credit to him that he can show such level of responsibility.

The reality is that it very much depends on the child. A very good friend whose son lives next to us and is in my son's class said that she could never let her son do this because she didn't trust he wouldn't push the boundaries and get into trouble (as in getting into another bus for fun etc....), but she knows my son's well and agrees that he is much more mature than her son. I do think that many parents tend to undervalue the ability of their children to be independent and responsible, but if a parent or/and a child is not ready, then it isn't the right time to consider it.

jess1974

My children are 15,14 and 9, and i have never used childcare for any of them, i work, evenings, the odd weekend, and school day hours, i work around my husbands hours, and the odd time we are not home, the 15 year old is more than capable of looking after his sister.

onlyroz

emsywoo123 wrote: »

I'm trying to ask a question but I KNOW this is going to come across as rude, but its really not meant to.....
But when do you see your children? Genuinely curious!

I hope you're not just asking me that because I'm female?

I see them for around an hour and a half in the mornings, for 2-3 hours in the evening, and all weekend, same for any working parent.

onlyroz

Glitter_girl wrote: »

After work?
Weekends?
Holidays?

I'm sure lots of parents would love to spend more time with their children but a lot of family's are struggling now due to the recession and have no choice

There are also some women who actually enjoy persuing a fulfilling career

oppostar

wow loads of different answers, thank you all very much.

well i have learned that my 12,nearly 13, year old would be fine by himself for a bit so that definitely changes things, still got the worry of school holidays though as i don't think i would be happy leaving him all day himself, even if i had childcare for the little one.

Will discuss with oh about his flexi times and see what i can do, mind you i have to find a job first!!!

thanks again x

Spendless

oppostar wrote: »

well i have learned that my 12,nearly 13, year old would be fine by himself for a bit so that definitely changes things, still got the worry of school holidays though as i don't think i would be happy leaving him all day himself, even if i had childcare for the little one.

Will discuss with oh about his flexi times and see what i can do, mind you i have to find a job first!!!

thanks again x

Your eldest must be very similar in age to mine, who is 13 early March. I was surprised when mine went to Secondary school how variant it was with what his peer group were allowed to do, it ranged from kids locking up as their parents needed to leave the house first as FBaby describes, to ones that had to make their way to their old Primary school and meet parent picking up younger sibling as they weren't allowed to have a key or be home alone, in some cases the child passes their own house before getting to their old school.

I found that once I started leaving mine, the amount of time I could do this lengthened relatively quickly.

You could also find out what time your eldest's school opens its door to pupils. My son's has a snack area where they can buy breakfast items toast or a bacon butty.

In the hols you could take as many weeks off independently of your OH, eg both taking 2 weeks off but going away as a family for 1 of them. If you were able to book leave mid-week to mid-week, that would lessen how many consecutive days your eldest spent at home alone. You could also 'time-table' in some activites to do. My council do a leisure centre pass for the school summer hols, where for a set price you can have unlimited swimming and/or ice-skating. Getting up (late) calling for a friend to go to <whatever> catching the bus there, getting something to eat and getting bus back will take up several hours whilst you work.

Good luck finding something that suits.

P.S Since reading FBabys post about her youngest, who is the same school year as mine, I've decided mine can def start coming home alone shortly - we live round the corner from the school!