Hoarding - A New Start

whitewing

Interesting about cash JackieO, because I seem to have anti-hoarder tendencies with regard to cash. I don't mean that I fritter it away (althou I do sometimes), I somehow don't think I'm worthy of either earning it or stashing it, and I am transferring the unworthiness to DH and DS, so I don't expect them to be able to earn it or save it either. Yet I know skills-wise, we should all be able to earn well over the 'average'. Has anyone got any tips on this? Does anyone even know what I mean as I really need to change this thinking so that I don't get us into trouble. (I can budget, I can spend sensible amounts on gifts, I can - sometimes - overpay the mortgage, but I can't 'earn' a good salary or keep it in a savings account. I haven't really been able to save since we have had children, but it isn't the fact of having children, it's that I have used it as an excuse to camouflage my thinking from myself).

lostinrates

Box room, DONE.

Most of it ninth squared though, but it's emptied ready to be cleaned. One box of clothes gone from that little stack so now most of that fits under our bed. There are some more clothes in the spare room, which I think I mioght start looking t next week. Even if I just look at one thing a day....

Not been brilliantly well today either. But I feel no sense of loss today about the removed clothes, which ended up being two black bags full. (and a couple of pairs of shoes).

espresso21

I have been lurking here and being impressed by all of you. I have so much clutter that I don't think I will ever get rid of it and I often feel overwhelmed by the problem. MY OH is much worse and that's the real problem. He won't / can't change and it's probably not fair of me to expect him to change; I have tried to confine his clutter to certain areas of the house but it is beginning to seep! His worst thing is mail. I think he probably has mail (opened and unopened) dating back at least 5 years in his study, piles and piles of it, and he won't get rid of it. But enough of moaning about him....! This is supposed to be about solving my issues; his can come later.

Inspired by you lot, I had a go at the spare room today. I haven't finished - I am probably about halfway which took me about 2 hours, so I guess another 2 hours will finish it, which isn't bad really. I reorganised the cupboards in there and put a lot of stuff into bags for charity shops. The stuff that I kept, I put into some really beautiful boxes (which are too beautiful to throw away which is why they have been adding to the clutter) and then piled these boxes back into the cupboard. They look pretty and organised now AND I know where I can find things. I can see the floor, dressing table and bed again - they are no longer just storage areas!

Doing this also made me realise that I really need to stop buying things. I have a huge box full of body lotions (which I hardly ever use but often buy as it always smells so nice), another box of shower gels and another perfumes. It's time to start using those and not to buy any more until I have used them all (which will probably be about 2028!). So, no more trips to Body Shop, L'occitane or Boots where temptation lurks in the aisles.

Thanks for letting me ramble and for being such great inspiration to me.

espresso21

Does anyone know of charities that collect? I have several bags of clothes, books (very heavy bags), kitchen stuff, etc and no car. If I do it by bus journeys it will take years to get rid of the stuff!

whitewing

espresso,

try phoning a local vicar/church - they may be happy to collect for a jumble sale or to pass on to needy people/whatever.

calleyw

right I am going to stand up and admit something "I Calley is a hoarder!"

Well I am but not to the extreme of the hoarder next door. I seem to hoard food. I hardly cook since I become single but have a larder and freezer full of food!!!!

also when I tend to buy clothes etc I always buy two but I do wear them.

My rooms are clear of stuff so would not say I am massive hoarder but I do suffer with OCD tendencies.

Yours

calley

Byatt

whitewing wrote: »

Interesting about cash JackieO, because I seem to have anti-hoarder tendencies with regard to cash. I don't mean that I fritter it away (althou I do sometimes), I somehow don't think I'm worthy of either earning it or stashing it, and I am transferring the unworthiness to DH and DS, so I don't expect them to be able to earn it or save it either. Yet I know skills-wise, we should all be able to earn well over the 'average'. Has anyone got any tips on this? Does anyone even know what I mean as I really need to change this thinking so that I don't get us into trouble. (I can budget, I can spend sensible amounts on gifts, I can - sometimes - overpay the mortgage, but I can't 'earn' a good salary or keep it in a savings account. I haven't really been able to save since we have had children, but it isn't the fact of having children, it's that I have used it as an excuse to camouflage my thinking from myself).

Oh my gosh WW, that's me!! Thank you for bringing it up because although I am aware of it, I haven't verbalised it. Worse, I feel I have to get rid of extra money, usually buying others presents or loaning (ends up not being repaid), anything extra I have this desire to be rid of it!

No answers, maybe others can come up with something. But what an excellent way of talking about it, "anti-hoarding with money!"


edit, I had a folding garden chair, the ones that come in a bag that you can carry around (!), got it four years ago for DD when she had no chair and was in a hostel, it was in the understairs cupboard, I had a brainwave, I would use it as a bedroom chair, covered with a throw...well, it looks carp!! It looks like a garden chair covered by a throw and is so ugly, that both items are going! Once upon a time I would have clung onto it, even though every time I saw it it would make me shudder! Not beautiful and not even useful.

whitewing

byatt,

It has occurred to me reading your post and also espresso's comments about her OH and unopened mail, that hoarders are (bizarrely) naturally good at organising but the hoarding is when that and the emotional side falls down. When I read your post, and had a 'friend' who understood, I had a flash of insight and I can see now that my dad is exactly the same. Except his excess goes to late payment charges etc to add evidence to his view that the whole world has a personal grudge against him.

I can even remember a couple of years ago my brother accidentally finding out my sister's annual salary and him saying, 'She's not worth it'. (She wasn't there, fortunately).

frizz2

I am really pleased with myself! I have mananged to tidy and sort my utility room which has been a disgrace for a number of months. I have found lots of bits and pieces that I have left out and not put away. The is the key for everything to have a correct place and to put that item back in the correct place when finished with it. This is so obvious but I am only realising the importance of this now.
I have also had stupied difficulties with opening post sometimes. How ridiculous! I am dertermined to deal with all post daily as I should. On Saturday I opened a letter and inside was a cheque for £79 from a gas and electric company who had not paid our balance when we switched providers. This surely is sign that post must be dealt with and not left!
I am determined to change and will make sure I keep this up. Once I go back to work I need to keep the systems I have created and maintain them.
It is great to hear about other people's progress!

Broomstick

Espresso, sometimes women's refuges or some refugee organisations will take (and collect) stuff in good condition eg, cooking equipment, bed linen, women's and children's clothes, to pass on straight away to people who have been (re) housed but have nothing. British Heart Foundation seem to provide a collection service for some things too: http://www.bhf.org.uk/test/van-collection.aspx (I haven't tried them).

B x