Dating Website, mid 20s

ollyver27

Hi all,

I'm mid 20s, male, and don't seem to meet a lot of people in my usual day to day life. I used to meet people, but now I work etc. I seem to meet less people, at least who I'd be interested in dating!

I'm not desperate or anything, but think it would be nice to date the right person. I know a lot of you will say 'get out there and meet people' which I agree, and which I am going to do also, but would like advice on dating websites as well, in case they can be utilised alongside.

I think this ties in with me wanting to change my whole approach to life. I want to stop binge drinking (I'm getting to old for this) and change my social scene from a purely alcohol related one, to something a bit more varied. So I am going to look into social clubs, perhaps volunteering (depending on commitment they require), etc. But like I say, I think I need to meet people who don't necessarily go out partying, think these have been the wrong people to meet for anything long-lasting!

What are the best dating websites younger people? Hazy definition of 'young people' - 20-30? I'm not bad looking tbh, but do look quite young so usually date people slightly younger than me. I've looked on the internet for the best sites for 'young' people but don't seem to find any relevant information.

Ideally I would like a free site, but don't mind paying if it is going to be miles better than a free site. I just don't want to sign up to a place and then realise its full of 40+ who obviously won't be the right match.

I have tried plentyoffish before, and did get some interest actually, both when I messaged people and when people messaged me, but wasn't sure about the calibre of potential people on there (was about 2 years ago?) and deleted my account after about a week (but maybe this was due to the circumstances at the time and thought I was being a bit silly joining a dating website)

If any of you could shed some info on this or point me in the right direction of which site may have the best database for this age demographic, that would be great.

I'm also based in the NW of England, if this makes a difference.

Thanks for your help, and hope you all have a wonderful NYE

bargainbetty

Honestly, you're going to have to try a couple before you find the one that is right for you. You could try one of the ones linked to your favourite newspaper (at least you'll have something in common with the ladies) or a site that does the personality tests for you etc. Look at free offers, or things that allow you to try something for a weekend before you put your money in.

I would warn against too much reliance on free sites... you do get some fabulous people, but you also get trolls, timewaster and downright weirdos too!

I've had some fun, and I know others who have met longterm partners online, I think it's entirely the luck of the draw!

Good luck

fashionlover10

I don't really have much advice to give you but OH and I are both in our 20's and we met on Plenty of Fish.
It's a free site that's quite easy to use and I think internet dating is definitely a good idea as it's easy to filter out the oddballs early on!

Good luck!

erichamster

Have you genuinely met all of your friend's single friends? I only ask as based purely on anecdata, pretty much all of the successful relationships I know of began that way, I just think it's so much easier to go out with someone with whom you share mutual friends. That way you know they actually have friends, hopefully aren't a weirdo and you can talk about the friends you already know. It doesn't have to be awkward just ask any friends you have to go for a meal with you and their single friend, if you approach it from the point of view of making friends you won't be disappointed if it doesn't work out.

If you've done that and you live in a city where there are lots of things to do, I'd try the expanding your horizons, getting more involved in whatever you're interested/passionate about, even if you don't meet anyone, people who do what they love are sooooo much more attractive.

Finally I would approach the dating websites as a last resort, again this is based purely on my friend's experience on plentyoffish but basically she has found that the (particularly young, she's 26 and met people around 22-32) people on there fall into two camps: either they fancy themselves as 'players' and are just looking to sleep around, or there is something a bit off about them, or they're really boring or full on or scary or too attached to their parents, etc.Again, obviously this isn't true of everyone on there at all, but she did meet quite a lot of people.

I think the trouble with the dating websites is they deny you that instant attraction/feeling you get about someone. You actually have less to go on than meeting someone in real life as all you get are a few photos and their heavily edited profile and emails, not enough to go on IMO so you end up going on lots of dates with people you might not consider if you'd met them beforehand.

Anyway I hope I haven't offended anyone, as I said it's all personal opinion, friends experiences and good luck OP, the best thing you can do if you do meet anyone you like is be confident, it's the most attractive thing!

krlyr

I used, and met my lovely OH, on Plenty of fish. I think with a free site you do have to do a bit more work to filter out the duds but equally you get lots of genuine people who are just exploring the world of online dating and not wanting to commit to fees just yet - a bit like yourself really.
I found there were plenty of guys in the mid-20s sort of age for me to chat to, within reasonable distance, so that wasn't an issue. OK, a high duds-to-good'uns ratio, but I just found that I had to learn to spot the signs for time wasters and so on - quite easy after a while if you stay strict and don't let yourself get flattered by the charmers just on it for a quicky!
Be yourself, put good information on your profile to make it obvious you're not just after sex, take time to chat to girls, I don't think you can go far wrong. If you're worried about wasting time then consider finding the local meetups they arrange (if they're still doing them) where you can meet local members face-to-face.

Sharon87

Dating sites have a lot of people on at various ages. Obviously places like eHarmony may have slightly older people on average, but my brother met his fiance on there at age 27. But it is expensive though.

I'm also going onto dating websites, can't see any other way of dating people, except when I've been drinking, and even then it'll probably just be a fling or a kiss! I'm just using plenty of fish for now, but it's hard to find the right person for me. I may check out other websites this year.

mildredalien

I met my OH on 'OkCupid' - I think it's pretty good for people in 20s to early 30s so you should meet some people on there!

I was single for a year or two, and although I met a couple of guys in that time and had a few dates through friends, just didn't meet anyone I wanted a LT relationship with. I wasn't interested in trying to meet people in bars/clubs, so tried internet dating! I have to say I only chose the free websites :rotfl: but at least I knew any prospective partners would be fellow MSE-ers

mmmsnow

Hi, I met my husband on Match.com and would thoroughly recommend it to anyone. One thing I will say is try not to chat to someone on-line for too long - get a phone number and call them asap! I found that lots of people were willing to spend months exchanging e-mails but very few were actually interested enough to chat with me either face to face or over the phone. Also, you can pretty much tell straight away if you'll hit it off or not if there's some genuine contact.

As well as on-line dating (it may take a while for you to find someone), I would recommend getting out and doing something different. I went to art classes (a great laugh), went hillwalking in a group and even did a forensic psychology night class. You'll be meeting new, interesting people and getting away from spending too much time down the pub . Find something you are interested in and develop that hobby - you may even meet someone while your learning something new.

System

fashionlover10 wrote: »

I don't really have much advice to give you but OH and I are both in our 20's and we met on Plenty of Fish.
It's a free site that's quite easy to use and I think internet dating is definitely a good idea as it's easy to filter out the oddballs early on!

Good luck!

Same here i'm mid twenties and bf is early twenties and we met on there.