Relationship help - its a long post I'm sorry

swingaloo

I wouldn't cut the plug off but I would definitely be getting a screwdriver and 'ahem' making sure it didn't work in an 'oh dear, I wonder whats the matter with it kind of way. Then when he is bored senseless because he cant get on the damn thing get out a book and just ignore him, give him a taste of his own medicine.

Oh, and then get rid of him, you deserve better. Flaming men and their toys!!!!! There is one living next door to me, sits in the attic all hours while his wife copes with the baby. She even takes the baby to her mums when she has to go to work because he 'wont watch the baby now he's toddling be cause he gets in the way'.

Don't let that happen to you.

nickj_2

instead of having no life with someone who obviously doesn't care about you , you could be having a great time with someone who does , you post sounds more like a mother moaning about her teenage son rather than a "man"

Courgette

G2012 wrote: »

Wow I think I have just had my light bulb moment!

Hooray!!! :j:j:j

Just_a_Girl_2

I could have written this post myself a couple of years ago as my EX husband was exactly the same. I remember him having a collection of cups with mouldy tea next to his side of the bed that I flatly refused to move. I remember after weeks of nagging, his solution was to open the bedroom window and throw them out onto the lawn!

He'd be up all night but playing PC games (a man in his late 30s!) and then sleep in all weekend. It was like being a single parent.

Best thing I ever did was get rid of him!

ktb

If your OH really respected you (a vital thing in a proper, adult, loving relationship imho) he would have listened when you let him know you were unhappy with his behaviour & he would have agreed to a compromise of some kind.

I could not disagree more with the suggestions of smashing the Xbox or withholding your washing/cooking/cleaning services - why on EARTH should you need to do any of this with a grown man that you are supposed to be in a adult relationship with?!?! You should be able to voice your concerns & any decent partner would listen, take it on board & work out what can be done that makes you both happier.

He sounds like a selfish child & if you want to waste your life with someone like that, let alone breed with him, more fool you! Life is preciously short - take a long hard look at your lot & work out if you are madly in love with the man of your dreams & the dream father of your future children or if you are just stuck with someone out of habit & ease?!

I just found out I am pregnant, my OH is also 31 and he could not be more excited, involved or doing more for me! We lie in bed at night discussing the future & he would not dream of missing that by playing Xbox all night! I feel like a very lucky girl & you deserve to be with someone that makes you feel like that.

Maybe your current partner is capable of this, but i suspect you will have to give him a shock & walk away, before he is able to give you that reassurance by the sounds of it. Actions speak so much louder than words.... you may have to be prepared to lose him before you know if he'll step up... But either way you will win... be brave!

Becks81

I really would have to agree with the majority of the other posters. OP I feel so sorry for you, as I (as many other women it would seem) have been in your position. It's all about having respect, and from what you have posted I cannot see he has much for you.

I'm sad to say he won't change. Get out now whilst you are still young, if the same problems keep re-surfacing they are obviously not being dealt with, and will keep cropping up throughout the rest of your relationship.

Believe me when I say - it's no fun looking after another child who just happens to be your partner.

Good luck!!

DUTR

It sounds like the relationship is over, I don't know what PCOS is, but it does sound like you are both no good for each other
So he likes to play on his xbox (he could have worse habits) bully him into stopping what he enjoys? He will resent you and the children forever. It's not your fault and it's not his fault. It just was not meant to be.
The real fear is when you are back on the dating scene, you will find there are a whole heap of jerks out there and most the good guys are already snapped up, that's the reality of the future

Sambucus_Nigra

G2012 wrote: »

He asked me to wash the bedding yesterday but since he didn't get up till 1pm I said I would do it today, he strolled out of bed at 16:15 despite me waking him up several times.

...

Can anyone offer advice? I'm seriously considering asking him to leave as I can't cope with this anymore, I feel lonely but I would rather be alone than live like this.

Come on, seriously? You woke him up several times because he wanted you to wash the bedding and he couldn't even get up? You are flogging a dead horse...and you have answered your own question.

fannyadams

make a plan a bit like this:
Go away to see YOUR friends (without him, you could make an excuse and say they are ill and need someone to help them) for a couple of weeks MAX. Clean the whole house top to bottom and then go away with a clean (pardon the pun) consience.
See what you come back to after a week (pop round when you KNOW for sure he is out at work) take photos
come back after the second week and see how bad it is take more photos and post them on FB...

COMPLETELY BLOW YOU TOP at how bad the house is, take plug off x-box, put plug on vacuum cleaner, issue cleaning ultimatum (what you WANT him to do or you will leave/chuck him out and send him back to Mammy, work with him to clean the house (DON'T DO IT FOR HIM, THOUGH), let dust settle, wait out another 2 weeks doing minimum cleaning (just YOUR stuff NOT his), remind him of cleaning ultimatum once a week.
Finally, chuck him and his x-box out,/send him back to his mammy.
Sorry that's harsh but I have been there and done that and in the end they REALLY do NEED to get sent back to their mammies.
Stay Strong
FA
xx

stiltwalker

As far as the 'in 5 years time question' goes here's my story - 5 years ago I'd just had the most miserable Christmas ever with my husband of almost 3 years (been together almost 5). We'd had countless conversations/arguments over who did what/didn't do what, attention paid, importance of the computer, input into relationship etc etc etc and I'd come to the end of my tether. I could have shaved my head and he wouldn't have noticed. 5 years on I have a wonderful husband (of just less than 2 months! although we've been together much of the 5 years) who supports and encourages me, ok so he doesn't cook very often but then I'd rather eat my cooking than his anyway lol. We have 2 beautiful and amazing children, a lovely home and we had 2 family holidays last year and have booked next years. He admires my craft work even if he doesn't really 'get it' and notices if I wear a new top, let alone get a half inch trim off my hair. The old relationship wasn't SO awful that I couldn't have tolerated it (and believe me I know about bad relationships) but I was withering away inside. Yes, stepping out into the world is scary and only you can decide if that is right for you but know that there are so many possibilities if and when you decide that the time is right for you. Good Luck X.