Advice re nervous cats

MissPoppy_3

Hi I am hoping someone can advise.

We have had our 2 cats just under a year and they are both indoor cats as they are very timid, have no interest in going outside.

They are both rescue cats, one was found abandoned as a kitten and is now over a year old, the other is 4 years old and was brought in by her owners 'who couldn't cope with her anymore'. We have no more info on their background.

My problem is is that they are both my cats, in that they come to me for attention and don't run away from me i.e they trust me. Unfortunately the same can't be said for my husband as when we first got them he did all the chasing and grabbing to get them to the vet, cattery etc. I gave up giving them treats over 6 months ago and left that exclusively to OH so they could associate him with good things, this has kind of worked with one of them but the other one still doesn't want to know him.

At present this isn't a big thing but I am 6 months pregnant and obviously when the baby comes I am not going to have much time for them so they need to feel more comfortable with OH so they don't feel completely left out.

Does anyone have any ideas how we can coax them to stop being afraid of OH? Also any tips on stopping jealousy when baby comes would be great too.

Thanks

3v3

Maybe OH needs to be the one to give them their daily food? That is a far more powerful message than the odd treat and would most definately put him in the good things associated club

Because you do not know their past, it is easy to imagine that in some dark distant past, a man was the object of their fear. But, you are putting human feelings/thinking into a feline that simply doesn't look back that far.

Do you have toys for your indoor cats? Indoor cats need more playtime/toys than outdoor cats and play is very important plus is a good bonding tool

Preventing jealousy when your baby is born is really a matter of how often and how long you permit your cats to sit on your lap. If it is often and for long periods, now is a good time to begin weaning them away from that because baby will need lots of cuddles and feed time. To make it attractive to be somewhere else, a cat tree is a good start.

I'm sure others will be along with further ideas/tips

Xebnotlaw_2

I have had exactly the same problem with my two feline friends getting on with myself, but not my OH.

As 3v3 said, getting your partner to feed them is one of the most powerful tools for making friends, so let him take over those duties for a while. One of the biggest things is to make sure you do not force it. My partner constantly tries to get the cats out to play and sometimes they really do not want to.

Tell your OH to get down to their level and feed them/play with them wherever they are hiding. This could mean putting a cat bowl under the sofa, or using a favourite toy near where they are hiding.

I got loads of advice from Cats Protection and Battersea animal home, so check out their websites or give them a call!

Good luck

Carcluster

Emphasize some good answers here:
1. Get OH to feed them (and talk to them in a nice sing-song voice to let them know it's time for food: cats do learn certain words - we always say "Tea Time", with a big accent on the T sounds when we give them their wet food treat; just once a day).
2. Yes get down on the floor at their level and wiggle a shoe lace or a scrunched up piece of paper - they need to believe you are a cat. They don't mind knowing you are the "top cat" telling them off, as long as there's lots of contact and good stuff too.
3. Also whenever the OH walks past them (if they are not running away by this stage) EVERY SINGLE TIME just a gentle touch on the head/back/tail as you go by - cats constantly touch to communicate and say hello. Again - always actually say "hello [NAME]" in a nice gently voice whenever you meet.
4. If they like to go away and sleep (all cats do!) you can quietly "sneak up" and gently stroke - they might stay asleep of slowly wake up to find they like it!

The jealousy issue: may not happen, just make sure you keep giving attention to the cats when they want it - keep touching/greeting/saying hello etc. to show that nothing has changed with respect to them!

P.S. In preparation for the baby, and when he/she becomes a toddler - make sure the cats have somewhere to go and "hide" or not be disturbed; either up high or well hidden-away, so they can escape the inevitable attention! If they like to spend the day seeping in the room that will be the nursery - then close the door now and let them find another spot!

his_missus

Miss Poppy, I have a cat I took in from a friend who couldn't look after him anymore and have had for 7yrs now. He has always run away from my Hubby, even if we're just sat on the sofa and Hubby gets up, the cat will be straight out the catflap. Hubby feeds them every morning but he will sit outside the catflap looking in and wait til Hubby has left the kitchen before he comes in to eat.

However, when I'm not home and only Hubby is there he will actually go and sit on his lap and let him fuss over him.

Also when we have visitors there are some he will go to and some he'll run away from - haven't worked the pattern with that either after 7 years.

It probably doesn't help you much but maybe when baby comes along the cats will just go to your DH more if you aren't "available" as much. Hope things work out xx

MissPoppy_3

Hi

Thank you for all of the helpfull advice.
At present we are trying only OH feeding them and he thinks there is a tiny bit of progress especially since it has turned a bit colder they clean their bowls out well before next feeding time so they are like pacing tigers waiting for the food. Therefore when OH approaches them they don't run as far away and the most timid one has stay put long enough for him to stroke her.

As it is going quiet well we keep this up and see where we get plus I have got a feliway plug-in which I will start to use nearer the time when baby is due.
Only problem being is that I now do nothing to look after the cats as I can't clear out their trays or feed them now
Think I will make the most of it while I still can.

cavework

your cats will be fine with the new baby and will get used to your husband in time.
I had a rescue cat that was terrified of the ironing board every time I brought it out !
best cat I ever owned :beer: